Consider Me Gone

Chapter 31.

Jax

I walked down the hospital corridors to visit Tara. I decided to drop by during her lunch break since I was nearby, and truth be told, I was curious to witness the aftermath of Dr. Mark Sloan. I was eager to see his reaction when Toni ended things with him, and I was practically beaming with joy at the thought of seeing his face.

I wanted to run into him. I wanted him to know that I'd won and that I got to witness his defeat. I was so ready to get rid of this guy, and I kissed Tara excitedly when I met with her. She could tell that I was in a good mood, and she raised an eyebrow at me.

"You're in a good mood," she commented, and I smiled at her before kissing her again.

"I'm just happy to see you."

"Oh," Tara smiled seductively, "If I knew you were going to be like this, I would have made Mark fight you a long time ago."

"I scoffed and rolled my eyes, "please, I would hardly call that a fight. Where is that sucker anyway?"

Tara shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know, I've been meeting with patients all morning, and I haven't really left my office. He's probably down there in Toni's room."

My brows furrowed, "Toni's room? Didn't they break up?"

Tara looked taken aback, "Not that I know of. Did you hear something?"

I shook my head, "No, I just thought that after that whole cheating thing and the attack, she wouldn't want anything to do with him."

"He was behind the attack?!" Tara seemed shocked at the news. However, I kept myself calm in an effort to not reveal too much.

"I thought so, I asked around to see if anyone knew anything, and I came up short. I just thought that the girl who vandalized his car was behind this whole thing."

Tara blew out some air, "Geez, and I thought I had it bad. Hmm, I wonder if Toni knows."

I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know, but if she doesn't, someone should tell her."

Tara nodded her head in agreement and already I could see the wheels in her head turning. I knew I wouldn't have to say much to get her to talk to Toni. Because despite how things were between them, Tara would always have a soft spot for her.

"Well, I guess I'll see you at home, babe." I kissed Tara one last time before I left and then made my way down to the floor. I knew that Toni's room was somewhere around there, and I figured I'd just wait and see for any indication of where her room was.

I was curious to see the extent of the bartender's impact on her and wanted to ensure that she was mostly alright. I couldn't help but feel guilty for what had transpired, as it was my fault for placing those orders that led to Toni's injury.

The thought of going down to the gift shop crossed my mind, maybe to get her some flowers or a small token of apology. However, I decided against it. I didn't want to come on too strong and add to her already overwhelming emotions. I wanted to take things slow and gradually rebuild our relationship.

I was still working out the kinks of what that would look like, but I knew it would all fall into place now that Mark Sloan was finally out of the picture. However, before I was able to take a victory lap, I saw something that made me stop dead in my tracks.

There in the hallway, leaving room 602, was Mark. He was wearing the same clothes he wore to the clubhouse, so I knew he wasn't working today. And as he left, I had a sick feeling that it was Toni's room he was walking out of.

He didn't look sad at all, if anything he was too busy ordering Italian food on the phone. I knew it was Toni's order as soon as he listed what he wanted. Ravioli al granchio with the house salad and Italian vinaigrette. He was ordering her favorite from Angelina's, and hearing that confirmed that they were still together.

I balled my fist and clenched my eyes shut. Annoyance radiated through my body, and I leaned up against the wall where I would be out of sight. Mark hadn't noticed me yet and I intended to keep it that way because Chibs wasn't around to pull me off him a second time.

I listened for him to walk away before I emerged from where I was standing. I headed over to Toni's room with a feeling of anger that I didn't have before. She had forgiven him, a luxury she didn't even bother trying to give me.

Without a single word or argument, she walked away from our marriage, leaving me without a chance to explain. She simply packed up and disappeared into a world that I was no longer a part of. Toni's forgiveness towards Mark spoke volumes to me - it showed that she didn't love me the same way she loved him. She was willing to work things out and listen to him, but not me. It made me wonder if she ever truly loved me at all.

"Jax?" Toni looked alarmed to see me in the room. I quite literally just barged in, so I knew that I startled her. I took a look at her injuries in a quick once over and then proceeded to ask her the one question that was now nagging me.

"Are you really still going to be with him?"

"Excuse me?" Toni looked confused, but I was past the point of formalities.

"Toni, answer the damn question!" I snapped, "Are you still going to date that bastard after what he did to me?"

"Jax, I don't think that's any of your business."

"My business?" I scoffed, "Oh, now it's none of my business, but when your human idiot accused me of a crime, that was my business!"

"Jax, I don't know what you want me to say here," I could tell that she was visibly uncomfortable with my presence, and seeing her so uneasy around me just further pushed me up the wall.

"I want you to tell me how you can throw away thirteen years of marriage with me, but then turn around and forgive someone you've only known for a few months!"

I was shouting at her, and I knew that sooner or later someone would come in here to complain about the noise. But I was so angry with Toni and I felt so betrayed that I was on the edge of tears.

"Is that what this is about? Jax," Toni shook her head trying to stay as calm as possible, "you and I did everything we could in our relationship. It didn't work out between us and that's fine. I've made peace with the fact that you loved Tara, I wasn't going to stand in your way."

"You're so full of sh*t. You didn't love me from the start and you know it. Everyone knew it, hell, even Tara knew it. You never thought I was good enough for you."

Toni's mouth hung open, "Jax, that's not true!"

"Isn't it? Because as far as I can see babe, he cheated on you too. And you forgave him. But I guess all I needed to be forgiven was some fancy job and title to still have you by my side."

I stormed out of Toni's room, fed up with our conversation. She looked shocked, but I couldn't care less. I was furious with her, and I had every right to be. She discarded me like I was insignificant; like our history meant nothing to her. Only for her to turn around and accept someone she's only known for a few months. The whole thing made my blood boil, and I felt that creeping feeling of rage I was so desperately trying to suppress.