The Secret Of Us ~ Oscar Piastri

The Black Dog

Well I hope it's shitty in the Black Dog

I don't owe him anything, so I'm not sure why I did it. Throughout my entire plane ride back to London it was all I could think about.

Piastri broke my heart, ruined me, and here I was changing an entire album that was about him, to some nicer songs. I guess I felt bad for how poorly he was doing this season.

I opened my phone to see a text from Logan

Logie bear

sorry cant pick u up, team meeting

get home safe lans

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Well, maybe this was a good opportunity to get some exercise and think things through. I was walking home when it started to rain. I hate London. I popped my AirPods into my ears and turned on folklore by Taylor Swift, it's perfect rain music. I got so lost in my thoughts and in the music that I didn't think of where I was going. But somehow I found myself on the streets of England walking down the road of the Black Dog pub. I went to turn around and change direction, but the rain started pouring down, so I had no choice but to enter the pub I had sworn to never enter again.

I pushed open the door, my hair and clothes soaked from the rain. The familiar smell rushed over me, and what used to feel like home just felt cold and empty. I just won't think of Oscar or Lily this entire time and everything will be okay.

But there she was. With all her friends. Lily.

I don't think she noticed me, but I noticed everything.

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*Past*

"Okay Lani, the final place to get over Oscar issss, the Black Dog!"

"Gracie come on. No way. The Black Dog was our first date, there's no way I can ever go back there."

"Nope, we're going and you're ordering a drink. I'll get them to make a Gracie special!"

Gracie grabbed my hand and dragged me inside, she was that kind of best friend. The bestest best friend in the world. The inside was exactly how I remembered it. I saw the table where I sat with Oscar, the pool table we played games on with our friends, the spot where we sung karaoke. It hurt, I won't lie.

Gracie walked up to the counter confidently and started talking to the bartender, but I wasn't listening. The Black Dog was somewhere I had avoided for so long. It was so special to my relationship with Oscar that it felt like a dagger to the heart. Gracie thought it would be a weight off my shoulders, but it wasn't. It really wasn't. I wanted to go into a corner and cry, cry away all the memories I had here. Nothing could ever make me forget the Black Dog, no matter how bad I wanted to.

Oscar and Lily didn't help.

There they were, laughing together, he was so close to her, she was holding his hand. They looked so in love.

"Gracie, I'm sorry I can't."

I ran out of the bar and into the parking lot. That's when it all caught up to me. Tears began to blur my vision and my chest felt so heavy. I broke down, curling into a ball sobbing my heart out. Gracie ran over to me and hugged me tight, telling me to "breathe" and "calm down" and "not think about it", but I couldn't. The image of Oscar and Lily, in Oscar and I's place, doing the things we used to do burned in my mind and I felt a sense of betrayal. 

Breathing started to get hard and I gasped for air. Gracie kept telling me to breathe but I couldn't. Everything hurt, but my heart was the worst off. The pain was searing, unbearable. Tears stung my cheeks like acid rain and I couldn't control myself. I was a worthless piece of shit, crying over her ex-boyfriend and his new girl. Talk about jealousy. 

You're so fragile.

You'll never make it.

You're nothing without him.

Thoughts were running through my head, none of them positive.

-------

*Present*

As I looked at Lily laughing with her friends, all I could see was her with Oscar. The pain I had once felt burned through my body again, a raging fire travelling down my body. I was ready to break down, every bone in my body ready to just snap. All the weight in the world was on my shoulders, even more now then it once had been, and this added on so much more. I couldn't cry. I couldn't show any signs of weakness.

I had to forget.

A/N

Guys I'm in Japan and went through Singapore so I got to see people setting up the GP!

I also got to see some of the F1 academy drivers on the street and it was very random but so amazing!!!!

Updates may be slow bc im on hols but ill do my best :)

<3