To Breathe Again

Chapter 9 - Quality Time and Quiet Thoughts

Michelle's POV

As I walk in the door, I see Tony washing up the last of the dishes. "Hey, sweet boy. Thanks for helping with that."

"No problem, Mom. How was your day?" he replies, looking over his shoulder at me.

"It was pretty good, actually. You remember that guy, Grant, I mentioned?" He smirks back at me. "Shut up. Anyway, he was there today when we spoke on the phone. He overheard me talking about the truck. He's got a friend that is a car guy, and he's volunteered to help by taking a look at it tomorrow morning," I say with a victory smile on my face.

"Volunteered, huh?" He replies with a "really?" look on his face.

"What? He's just being nice, you pain," I say, putting my hands on my hips.

"Riiiight. And he's the type of guy that does this kinda thing for aaaaallll his clients, right?"

"Oh, shut up. I think he's just that type of guy. You know how these country boys are? All, save the damsel in distress," I say back, annoyed.

"Uh-huh, and it doesn't hurt if she's a pretty damsel, right?" he counters.

"Bud, I'm sure he doesn't think of me like that. I mean, he's pretty damn good looking, and I've put on about 40 pounds since your dad left me."

"Mom, stop. Yeah, you put on weight, but really, you were too skinny before. Dad was just being a jerk. You are still very pretty, and any guy would be lucky to have my beautiful mom."

I watch him for a second, waiting for the punch line. When it never comes, I cock my head at him. "Buuuuud. That's so sweet." I go to give him a hug, and when I wouldn't let go, he starts laughing.

"Okay, okay. Get off me and stop being so gushy. It creeps me out." We both laugh. "He's quite the gentleman if he's coming all the way over here to help you," he says sarcastically.

"Tony! He's just being nice," I reply.

"Yep, and I'm Superman."

We chat for a while until he finishes cleaning up and I'm putting the remainder of the laundry away.

As I start to make dinner, a recipe my family always called Rotel, my son takes a deep breath and hums. "Yay! Rotel!" He wraps his arms around me from behind and shakes me from side to side. "My mom is the best! Bestest, bestest mom ever." I laugh and slap his arms off me. "I'm so glad we are back in the States. I really missed this food."

"I know, but I tried to make as much as I could that you guys liked."

"Oh, I know, Mom, and you did a great job, but there's just something about being back in the U.S. The food here is different, the roads are different, most people speak English! It even has its own smell." I nod in agreement. "Maybe one day I can do what I've always wanted to do and open that pet training and daycare center. There's no way I could've done that over there."

"I think you will, baby. I know you would be great at it. You've always been such an animal lover. Everyone thinks you are so amazing with their pets. I'm glad you had your little pet-sitting business when you were younger, before we moved out of the country. I think it was good practice."

"I agree. I loved that. It's gonna take a lot, though. I have to find land and get buildings and employees, and..." I cut off his rambling with my hand in the air.

"Ah ah ah. You have a businesswoman as a mother. I can help you each step of the way. Don't worry and don't ever let go of your dreams. Your dreams are my dreams, and we will make it happen one day. For now, go finish up getting ready for bed and get your homework done."

"Uhhhh, fine. I love you, Mom," he says, walking away.

"Love you too. Night, baby," I reply.

I know he loves seeing me in the evenings. I learned pretty early on that his love language is quality time. It can be exhausting sometimes, but it's worth it to see him grace me with that beautiful smile.

When I was pregnant with him, I remember praying for three things. Please let him be healthy, have dimples, and my brother's blue eyes. My little brother killed himself only months prior to me finding out I was pregnant with Tony. He was only 24. He battled alcohol and depression from our childhood and never could get over it. When Tony was born, I wanted to honor my brother, so I gave him my brother's name as a middle name; Daniel. Since it worked in both English and Spanish, it fit well, and Manuel was happy with it. The day Tony was born, I was beyond excited to see those sweet dimples, and when he opened those eyes, that dark denim blue was shining back at me. With his dark hair, those little girls his age like to call him Clark Kent, due to his black-framed glasses and large muscles. I think it's cute since he gets uncomfortable with the attention, and my favorite thing in the world is to embarrass him. Hey, don't judge me. That's my right and duty as a mother!

I walk into my room and settle down for the night. For whatever reason, Grant's friend, Trent, pops into my head. Damn, that man was chiseled. He had on sportswear like he had just left the gym. He had on one of those Under Armour kind of shirts that shows off every single muscle, and he had every. single. muscle. I think that is a men's version of the TikTok leggings women wear. I don't want to hear any guy say that only women in gyms are seeking attention wearing those pants when guys are wearing shirts like this. Oh, and those grey sweatpants. Was he trying to kill every woman he crossed paths with? I mean, really, those should be illegal because a girl can't walk straight when she sees those eye candy pants of I-now-need-new-underwear yumminess.

As I think about raking my fingers down those washboard abs, my hands find their way to my vibrator safely tucked under my pillow, and somehow that thing walks its way right down to my dripping core.

I apply the vibrator just to the right spot and gasp as I feel the hot pools of pleasure hit my tummy. I can tell, it won't take too much tonight. A little bit of guilt travels into my head for thinking of Grant's friend, but I push it back. Grant's not my boyfriend. I don't have any ties to him, so I can think of any guy I want. So, why is it lingering there? Pushing it back harder, I picture Trent hovering over me, his strong arms on either side, muscles rippling as he thrusts in and out, his grunts and moans driving me into a frenzy. I can almost feel his mouth kissing and sucking on my neck and making his way to my breasts. I imagine the sight of his firm ass clenching tight as thrust after punishing thrust, he rips screams from my lips. He seems the type to want to be rough, and what girl doesn't want a hand around her throat as he pushes her against a wall and takes her mercilessly? I reach up with my free hand and pinch my nipple, just enough to get that bite of pain, and it pushes me over the edge. After having kids, I learned to stay quiet, so I softly let out a breath of air as I explode and then climb down from my high. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being loud, but I've only had that opportunity when my kids were asleep, too young to know, or were out of the house for a while.

I think again about Grant and feel the guilt come in again but shake it off and drift into a nice, dreamless sleep knowing I get to allow my eyes to feast on the lovely men tomorrow.