It Didn't End With A Happy Ending

KABANATA 2

Lampas na hating gabi nang maka-uwi ako sa bahay.

Lights were all turned off already at halatang wala ng gising. Good thing is I have my spare key with me kaya kahit hindi ko na kailangang gisingin si Mama.

I went directly upstairs and napagdesisyunan na doon nalang kainin ang mga binili ko sa kwarto.

Ate, 9 pm bukas:)

Yan ang nakasulat sa sticky note na nakalagay sa pinto ng kwarto ko. I can't help but smile sa kapilyohan ni Chady.

Tinanggal ko ito mula sa pagkakadikit at pumasok na sa loob ng kwarto. Heaven.

I went to do all my night routines except taking a shower dahil sa sobrang pagod ko hindi ko na kaya pang maligo. Inilipat ko ang mga pagkain ko sa isang bowl and I was about to get some tissue sa isang drawer when I accidentally pulled the wrong drawer box.

"Shit" Yun na lamang ang nasabi ko.

It was the drawer box where I put everything.

"Ba't 'di na 'to naka-lock" I murmured and suddenly noticed the scrapbook na nasa taas ng lahat ng nakaimbak doon.

No. no

I was convincing myself not to get that damn book from its imprisonment. After all, there was nothing there except lies and craps.

Bigla ko na namang naalala ang pangyayari kanina sa shop.

"Kung gusto niya ako kausapin, dapat ay nagpakita na siya" bulong ko sa hangin.

Pero pag nagpakita, kakausapin ba?

Agad kong sinipat at hinanap ang key ng drawer sa bag pero puno yata ako ng kamalasan sa araw na ito para 'di ito mahanap.

"Okay, I can't. Closeeeeeeee it, cind" and slowly push the drawer back like it was a forbidden thing that must be grasp with extra caution. Too harmful.

But the problem with me is, it was getting harder and harder to lock.

Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako.

"I hate this" I really hate hearing that voice coming from my head saying na wala namang mawawala saakin kapag binuksan ko.

But I always end up being wrecked, into crumb once more.

"Cindly Blaire Choi future Architect, kung hindi papalarin edi future house wife nalang ni -" malakas na basa ko ngunit agad din namang napatigil nang makita ang pangalan niya.

Yan ang note na nasa unahan ng cover. It was full of glitter, full of butterfly stuffs, and full of the old Cindy.

Matagal-tagal ko na ring hindi nababanggit ang pangalan niya.

Unlike before, I found myself smiling sa pagkabasa ko nun. Maybe I was right, I'm now better than before pero di ko pa rin naiiwasang mag-alala para sa sarili ko everytime this scenario comes.

Minsan talo eh.

I was about to open the book when someone knock kaya agad kong naisara ang scarpbook at napatingin sa pinto. It was my Mother.

"Ma"

"Kakauwi mo lang?" mahinahon niyang tanong habang nakatayo parin sa may pinto.

I smiled and put the book back on where it was laying peacefully before.

"Uh, opo. Nag overtime po" saad ko bago siya tuluyang pumasok at lumapit sa direksyon ko.