Malik and Jade

Chapter 23 (Malik): The First Laugh

A few days after I gave Jade the paintings, she decided she wanted them hung in our bedroom, so she arranged them the way she wanted, and I hung them on the wall.

She'd been standing back as I leveled them, telling me how to adjust them, and Jade sighed when they were hanging perfectly. 

"I love these. There's just something about water colors that speak to me more than any other kind of paintings, and she really did a beautiful job with them. I was thinking of giving her a call to have some paintings made for gifts for our family."

For a minute, I hesitated, then decided to plunge ahead. Small steps, Malik.

"When I was talking with Mist, she said there's a farm not too far from her that has a farmer's market every Saturday, and there are animals to see and they sell fresh produce, flowers and crafts made by different artisans. Would you like to take Nour to that this weekend with me? He might enjoy the animals, and you might be able to find some unique gifts there, too."

There would have been no hesitation from my wife before, but now, I watched the emotions warring on her face. Every second that passed was a stinging reminder of what I'd done to her, how I'd hurt her, where we now stood.

"I didn't mean to put you on the spot," I apologized. "Think about it and let me know if you want to go. I'll just put the tools away."

I returned the hammer, level and picture hangers to the tool box and had just come back from putting it back in the garage when I heard Nour waking up through the monitor. I hurried up the stairs so he didn't get too worked up, and when I pushed open the door to his room, he was standing up in his crib, just starting to get really fussy.

"No need for tears, Nour," I soothed him, smiling at our boy. "I'm here."

Picking him up, I put him on the changing pad and got him into a dry diaper, those little feet kicking hard as I wrestled with the snaps on his shorts.

"You want a snack?" I asked when I was done.

I carried him downstairs where Jade was already in the kitchen getting him some teething biscuits, banana slices and milk. After buckling him into his highchair, I snapped a bib around his neck. Putting Nour's snack in front of him, Jade took a deep breath and looked at me. 

"OK, we can go to the farmer's market on Saturday."

Her tone was forced, so without thinking, I reached out and touched her arm, and she couldn't hide the slight flinch. This was a fine line I was walking. We had to begin somewhere with getting comfortable with each other again, but I didn't want to rush her. At the same time, I found it hard not to touch Jade, so I forced myself to hold back most of the time. It was difficult because Jade and I had always been hands on with each other. The only time I could indulge my need to touch her was every night after she fell asleep. I'd reach across the pillow she kept between us and take hold of the end of her braid and fall asleep with it in my hand.

It made no logical sense, but I felt that holding her braid at night could somehow tether her to me for another day. If she had the courage to stay with me for Nour, I wanted to make her as comfortable and as happy as it was possible to be with someone who had crushed her so terribly that I'd killed all of the feelings she'd ever had for me.

I was determined to bring her back to life, to bring back that sparkle in her eye that I'd noticed the first night I met her at the restaurant. It was missing because I'd caused it to disappear, and I wasn't the only one who noticed.

A few weeks earlier, we'd had my parents, my brother and sister-in-law over for dinner. My mother had brought all of the food because Jade has enough to do, and my wife loved my mother's cooking so she was delighted with that arrangement. I was in the kitchen with my mother, and Jade and Mira were in the living room with Nour and my brother's two children. My father and Nasim were watching basketball.