Malik and Jade

Chapter 21 (Jade): Clean Up

Copyright © 2024 by GroveltoHEA

When I realized that my life had taken an unexpected turn and wasn't going to turn out the way I wanted, I had two choices: I could ask why me? or I could ask why not me? Essentially, I could spend my time and energy fighting against the way things were only to have nothing change except the amount of bitterness in my soul or I could decide to stop fighting what I couldn't change and make the best out of my circumstances. I could and would decide to live my best life within the limits I'd been given. My son, my miracle baby I'd tried so hard for, deserved a good life and I would make it my mission to give him one.

So instead of complaining about not having prime rib on my plate, I decided to eat the hamburger in front of me. It may not have been what I wanted, but it would ease my hunger just as well.

 Those four months with my parents had helped me come to terms with being married to a man who loved another woman. Sometimes I laughed at life's timing -- had I been just five minutes later or earlier down that hospital corridor, I would still be living in blissful ignorance. But for whatever reason, my timing had been impeccable that day...if I'd been hoping to discover my husband's secrets and blow up my life as I'd known it.

I wasn't surprised another woman, any woman, found him as attractive as I did. Malik was one of those men who was so handsome that you took an involuntary breath when you first saw him. His dark hair and eyes and beautifully sculpted features were enhanced by his tall, extremely muscular frame, but more than that, he was incredibly charming. His sense of humor, while more subdued one-on-one, really came out at family get togethers or parties or, to a much lesser extent, work events. He was well-liked, but tended to keep his acquaintances as such and had few close friends. 

The first time I'd met Malik, I could only think yes, please when I saw him. Looks alone wouldn't have been enough for me, though, but he just kept adding to his appeal throughout dinner with his conversation. He was highly intelligent and could talk about anything, and as the meal went on, Malik showed me more and more of his dry wit. In no time at all, he had me laughing easily, forgetting we were at dinner together because of our parents. Our time together didn't feel arranged; it felt natural and easy. With the intense way he kept those dark eyes of his trained on me for the entire meal, Malik made me feel feminine and desirable.

 That hadn't changed throughout the time we'd dated. Malik was attentive, fun to be around and I enjoyed the way I felt challenged by his intelligence. I'd fallen fast and hard and thought he had, too.

How had I been so wrong?

I had to put those questions, thoughts and memories away and stop wasting time going over the past. Eyes forward!

Right before I'd come back to the house, I'd talked with my mother about the realizations I'd arrived at and the decisions I'd made, and she didn't say anything. Not a word. She simply stood up, walked over to me, drew my head to her chest and ran her hand repeatedly over my hair while she held me to her. Silent support for my decision. Love in those arms to hold me in the days ahead when there was no one else to.

The next day, I'd gone home, explained things to Malik and began the five-month countdown I'd given myself. It was awkward at first, but I likened it to the feeling you got after a bad fight with a friend. After you made up, things were stilted for a while, almost forced until the fight and the bad feelings it left you with faded and things got back to (more or less) normal. So, month after month, I'd tried to carve out a new normal, step-by-step, with Malik and by the end of my self-imposed deadline, I'd been somewhat successful. But I gave myself some grace for not being quite there yet.

Now my next challenge was moving back into his bedroom...our bedroom again...and everything that followed. Nour had been exceptionally clingy that day so I didn't get everything done that I'd been hoping to before Malik came home. My baby boy just wanted to be held, but so far he hadn't spiked a fever, so maybe he was getting a bottom tooth in, even if his gums didn't look puffy or red.