Malik and Jade

Chapter 14 (Jade): Out Of Duty

Copyright © 2024 by GroveltoHEA

Two days after the hospital benefit fiasco, I left Malik to go stay with my parents. Seeing the picture of him with Brooklyn had hurt, and although I'd been planning on going to my parents' home for a break, that incident had moved up my timeframe.

I'd informed Malik the night before I left, although I'd been tempted to just leave him a note on his door.

When he brought Nour to me for his last feeding before bed, he noticed the suitcase I had out that I'd been filling with Nour's clothes and blankets. I'd thought the large suitcase would be overkill, but for small beings, babies required a lot of accessories.

"You're really going, Jade?" he asked, and his deep voice held notes in it I'd never heard before from the confident, assured man.

"Yes."

"Was it because of that picture?"

"I was always going to visit my parents, Malik." My voice was exasperated. "The hospital benefit situation just pushed up my plans."

"This feels wrong, Jade. We're a family. I can't...we can't work on us if you're not here."

"Malik, I'm not ready to work on us. I just want some breathing space. That's all I want! Why is that so hard for you to understand? Maybe I can put it in terms you can relate to: imagine how you'd feel if you found out that your doctor friend didn't feel about you the way that you felt about her. Imagine you found out that she was merely fond of you. Imagine you found out that she'd been cheating on you the entire time you were together. Imagine finding out that everything you thought about your relationship was a lie. How willing would you be to work it out with her?"

"Two separate situations, Jade. She was never my wife. I would have never worried about working it out with her. And I have never cheated on you."

"That's entirely debatable and you're missing the point! You keep missing the point in all of this, and I'm seriously wondering how you have such a high IQ like your mother has always assured me you have. I didn't just care about you, Malik, I loved you. And I found out at a horrible time, in a horrible way with too many witnesses to count, when I was at my most vulnerable that you'd been keeping your ex in your life and making it look like you were still a thing to everyone in that hospital because you were still a thing."

"We were friends. That's it, Jade. We began as friends and, as soon as I met you, she and I returned to friends."

"Well, apparently I need to expand my definition of what a friend is."

"What does that mean?" His head snapped back in displeasure at my statement.

"Nothing. Just that my definition of friend has become a lot more fluid, which will be good since I have a few former friends in my hometown."

"Jade, don't. Just don't go there."

Oh, he didn't like that. Not at all, and his voice was as angry as his face.

"That's the difference between us, Malik. As much as I can't stand what you did to me, as much as I can't stand you, I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't do to my worst enemy what you did to me."

Our eyes locked for a minute, and I held out my hands for Nour.

"I'll feed him now and let you know when you can come put him down. He and I are taking off tomorrow morning after you leave for work. You can text my mother to let her know when you'll be visiting. Coordinate everything through her."

"I'll text you, Jade. Your mother isn't going to be our intermediary."

"While I'm visiting there, she will be. I want this to be a complete separation for as long as I'm with my parents."

He took a step toward me then stopped cold. "Separation? This is a separation now?"

"By its very definition, yes. We won't be together under the same roof since you'll be here and I'll be home."

He wanted to say it again, I could tell. Malik wanted to remind me that this was our home, but he stopped himself. Maybe he knew I was poking at him; either way, he kept quiet but his bleak eyes spoke volumes.

Nour gave an unhappy, hungry squeak. "Can I please feed Nour, now?"

He handed our son to me, and I waited until he left the room to begin.

I was packing my suitcase in my bedroom late that night when I heard Malik knock. Walking to my door, I opened it just enough to see him standing in the hallway, bare-chested, wearing only pajama pants.

"I thought you'd be asleep by now," I said softly. He always was at the hospital by no later than six for his rounds.

His face was serious. "My wife's leaving me. I can't sleep."

"Did you want something?"

"There's a lot I want, Jade. But right now, I just wanted to tell you to have a safe trip."

"OK," I said, and started to shut the door.

"And I'll miss you."

I closed the door on him. When Malik let me down, when he decimated my trust in him, his words became nothing more than noise. Meaningless and easy and totally without weight.

When I walked into my parents' home, I drew the first deep breath I felt like I'd drawn in months since the hospital hallway scene when my world had completely shifted. My father hugged me, and my mother enfolded me in love. That first week, she coaxed my appetite with all of my favorite foods, she took on the bulk of Nour's care and she chattered to me when I indicated I wanted to talk and she remained silent with me when I just craved quiet. I napped, I read and my mother and I both took long walks with Nour in his stroller. It was a time of decompression and letting go.

Malik called every night even though my mother handled the calls. She filled him in on Nour's days and when he began every conversation with her asking about me, she told him only that I was fine.

The first weekend there, my mother made arrangements for me to stay at her sister's. Nour would have breast milk in bottles, and fortunately, he was one of those babies that didn't care about the source as long as he got fed. I was the one that preferred to breastfeed.

"Just get away for two days, Jade. Malik can be with his son all weekend, and you can have a bit of you time. Your aunt wants to shop and have a spa day with you."

My aunt lived about an hour away from my parents, so Friday afternoon, at about the time Malik would be driving the hour and a half toward my parents', I left for my aunt's. She pampered me just like my mother did, and we had a relaxing, self-indulgent weekend. I Facetimed mom Saturday night to see Nour, and although Malik was holding him when I called, she kept the phone focused on my son and I kept the call short.

When I came back Sunday night, Nour was already asleep since Malik stayed to put him to bed. I tiptoed in to see my boy and run a hand over his back. After reassuring myself that he was OK, I walked back out to the kitchen where Mama had a cup of chamomile tea waiting for me.

"How'd it go?" I asked.

With a shrug, she smiled. "Malik was unfailingly pleasant. He has thick skin since your father was polite -- just barely -- and I was frying him up with my eyes. Your father didn't say more than ten words to him all weekend, and Malik and I discussed the weather and Nour."

The following weekend I was ready to spend with old friends. I stayed in a hotel for two nights and I reconnected with a few of the girls I'd been closest to, having dinners and going shopping and meeting for drinks.

The weeks bled together until I'd been there five weeks. Malik had come up every weekend to see Nour and I'd disappeared each weekend until he left to go home. I was thinking about returning home, my spirit more settled, my pain lessened, ready to think about the future.

Then came a call from an unknown number. Short, to the point.

"He's only with you out of duty, Jade. He'll never love you," a woman's voice said before the call ended.

My fury rose and for the first time in five weeks, I called Malik because I had something to say.

Copyright © 2024 by GroveltoHEA