Malik and Jade

Chapter 10 (Jade): That Shouldn't Be A Problem

Copyright © 2024 by GroveltoHEA

Three months later...

I ran my fingers lightly along Nour's back as he kicked his feet while looking at himself in the mirror, dark eyes hovering between curious and frustrated. Sometimes I could get a couple of extra minutes of tummy time from him if I rubbed his back and sang to him. His crazy baby hair stuck up all over his head, always resisting my efforts to tame those thick waves. He had Malik's hair. Malik's eyes. Malik's mouth. Malik's dimples.

Despite me being the one who carried him all those months, I'd passed along only my nose.

He was a beautiful baby, good natured, happy, smiling more and more, which meant, according to my preemie baby apps and the adjusted age considerations, that he might start laughing soon. I couldn't wait to hear that sound because laughter had all but disappeared from our house where it had once rung out so easily and abundantly. It'd been missing for months, ever since we'd realized Nour was coming early. Ever since...everything that had followed.

Although it'd been difficult, I'd followed through on my promises to Malik. We were roommates who shared a child, and despite that very real desire to want more, to wish we were more, I knew this was all we'd have for the foreseeable future. I made meals for myself, I did the household chores and I redecorated the guest room that was now my room. Maybe someday when my wounds weren't so raw, when I wasn't covered in the remnants of my dreams, I could manage civil with him. Maybe someday I'd be able to look at him and not just see him as the thief who'd stolen my hope.

That day seemed a long way off. If I had to communicate with Malik, I left him Post-It notes on his bedroom door, very short and to the point.

Nour has an appointment for a couple of shots tomorrow at 3 pm. See you there if you can make it.

The last part I'd learned to add because the first time I'd left him a note about an appointment, he'd felt it necessary to call me to tell me he'd rearranged his schedule and would be there. I'd answered because he had taken Nour out to the store and I'd been worried something had happened. Since he'd been able to shift his schedule around, I felt mean enough to want to schedule all future appointments in the mornings on his surgery days, but I didn't. As I reminded myself constantly, just because Nour's father had betrayed me, that didn't mean he should be cut out of his son's life and he had every right to know about the appointments.

So far, he'd been very involved, despite having a busy schedule at his new job. He came home by no later than six-thirty every night and took over from me. He'd bring Nour up for one last feeding before he put him down for the night. When I heard Malik go back downstairs, I'd quietly go into Nour's room and kiss my son goodnight.

Then I'd go back into my room and read, maybe fold my clothes and Nour's, do an exercise video. Between nursing, not having much of an appetite and working out every night, I'd dropped the baby weight completely by the time Nour was three months out of the hospital.

It was lonely, it was depressing and I knew I needed to somehow start my new life, but so far I'd had energy only for Nour and me. Getting through the day. On the plus side, I was no longer crying quietly into my pillow every night while Malik watched Nour. I was down to giving in to the waterworks every week or so. Malik probably figured out pretty quickly that I'd been crying when he brought Nour up to me so our son could nurse, but the first time he'd tried to ask if I was OK, I'd shut the door in his handsome, strained face. Malik didn't get to fake concern when he hadn't been concerned for me before. And if he actually was concerned, he'd lost that right when he hadn't shown one iota of concern when it would have mattered.