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Lucila Grey
It was the night before Luke's wedding and I didn't know what to expect. My father was spending the night at his firm trying to make sure everything was managed before the wedding and without his right hand man being there he knew it was going to be tough to be without Luke for the week.
Jameson had a final and Kenny was going to wait for Jameson before heading home together. I was happy with Kenny. It's been six months and everything was perfect I was able to tell him I love him and it made him ecstatic. He said we would be able to make love for the first time when he came home.
I was in one of my father's old work shirts and picked up the brown bag of bananas my father had bought. I heard the door open and slam shut I followed the sound leaving the bag in my hand. I noticed Luke in the door way and leaned up against the side of the wall. I dropped the bag on the floor when I spotted him.
"Lucila" I stepped back hearing him say my name felt so foreign, wrong even. He didn't sound like my Luke. Maybe it's because he wasn't anymore. I think he saw fear flash over my eyes. "Lucila I'm not here to hurt you" he tells me and I don't believe him. I haven't seen him at all for awhile so I'm confused on why he wants to now try to talk to me. Is this a little last confession to clear his conscious? What about me? What happened when I needed him? "Please Lucila please" I see tears weld up in his eyes as he gets down on his knees holding my hand. He was begging but I couldn't understand for what. I haven't heard an apology.
I finally get the courage to say something "I don't owe you anything" I tell him stepping away from his grasp. His hand falls flat on the ground and I couldn't tell if he was going to sit there like a victim or stand up like a man. He chose the right way and stood up. "I just came here to talk lu" he tells me. I take a seat on the couch and he towers over me and doesn't sit he stands pacing the floor.
"Are you going to say something?" I ask him and I see him run his fingers through his hair. "Luke you're getting married tomorrow" I warn him I'm not going to be nice about this situation he's putting me in an uncomfortable one. "You don't think I fucking know that Lucila?" He snaps at me and I gulp. I've never seen him so anxious before. It worries me. "Do not yell at me" I tell him standing up I'm in front of him trying to stand as straight as possible. It's hard to look threatening against a six foot man when I'm five two. I see him raise his hand but he snaps it back down "what are you going to hit me? Fucking hit me like I dare you" I encourage him. I'm so sick of this, him, everything that reminds me of him.
"I'm not going to lu. I didn't mean to raise my hand" he says in defeat he sits down on the couch his head in his hands. "I just can't think Lucila, I can't process anything my brain is on a never ending loop of you. I can't lose you" he tells me. He looks up at me his blue eyes turning a shade lighter as he fights the urge to I assume cry. "You left me" I tell him reminding him that he walked out on me, that he chose his fiance. "I just need to know that this is it. I need to know you don't still love me" he tells me. I sit next to him feeling a sense of guilt wash over me.
"I don't still love you" I tell him honestly. I've done a lot of work with my therapist and found my love for Luke stemmed from an obsession. I love Kenny. "I just need one kiss please" he tells me and I do. I lean into his soft pink lips.i kiss him softly allowing our lips to tangle into one. He pulls me in closer grabbing my waist putting me on top of him. He tilts my head to the side taking full advantage of my naked neck. His hands grip my thighs hard enough to probably leave a mark but I can't even focus on the pain because the pleasure of his leaving sloppy kisses on my neck is distracting me. "Lucila let me fuck you please" he begs and I can't help the wetness I feel in my underwear. On cue he pulls them aside sticking his two fingers in and I let out a gasping moan.
He pumps them in and out using his other hand to grab my face turning it back to his lips so they're on mine again. His kiss is different it's rushed. He picks me up to walk me into his old guest bedroom. He lays me down my body goes flat. I let my hands go out contemplating if this is the right thing or not. Luke is unbutton every last button and placing his lips on my boobs. He massages one and sucks on the other.
"Luke" I say breathlessly I know he probably can't hear me but I'm unsure if I really want him to. "Luke please" I beg and he looks up at me. My eyes weld up with tears. "Lucila what's wrong?" He ask. I close my shirt and push up against the bed frame away from him "I don't want to be with you. I need you to get out." I tell him flatly and just like that all I had to do was say no and he left.
