Found again (HTTYD FF)

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Why didn't I tell him? Why didn't I stop him and make him talk? Why did I just let him go, why did we all let him go!? We could have stopped him! We could have had a real talk and cleared everything up! I'm so stupid, why didn't I do anything!? So stupid! It's too late to change anything now, but still! Who knows when he'll come back - who knows if he'll come back at all!

Astrid was as furious as ever. She wasn't mad at anyone in particular, just herself. The moment Hiccup and all the dragons left, she hated herself. She should have stopped him, she should have just done something. Instead, she just stood and watched. She just stood there and did nothing. She did nothing to stop him, nothing to tell him everything she had to say. All she could do now was regret everything she hadn't done.

For the first time in her life, she hated herself.

Of course he wasn't coming back. Why would he go back to the place where he'd almost been killed? To a place where he'd experienced nothing but fear?

But Astrid couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he'd let the Night Fury carry him. After all, he had his own wings, he could fly on his own, couldn't he? She'd seen him fly before! Then why wasn't he flying like all the other dragons were? She doubted he was too exhausted to fly. He was only half a dragon, but he should still share their admirable endurance. At least that was what Astrid assumed.

She lay on her bed, staring at the wooden ceiling of her room. She was still staying with her parents - as long as a family fit into one house, they stayed in it. At least they had a few less houses to work on after the dragon raids.

Her room didn't contain much - just a few weapons she didn't use very often (she didn't let her beloved axe out of her hand), clothes, and a few other things she didn't cling to and wouldn't mind at all if they burned in one of the fires caused by the dragons. She might even throw them in... Her axe was the only thing that really mattered.

Staring aimlessly at the ceiling, she tried to get to the bottom of her feelings. One thing she knew for sure: it bothered her terribly that she didn't know if she'd ever see Hiccup again. She didn't quite know the rest. This strange feeling was not her own, she had never experienced it before, she didn't know what to do, how to deal with it.

She was one hundred percent sure she wanted to see Hiccup again. Maybe just for a split second, but even that would be enough. She didn't mind his wings. After a brief moment's reflection, she found that she actually liked them. They were majestic, gorgeous... they suited him. Not like a human, but like a half-dragon. She couldn't imagine him without them. They belonged to him. It all belonged to him.

The scales on his face, tiny but still visible, didn't deter her either. They pointed to his uniqueness, to the fact that he didn't quite belong in this world. He was somewhere... in between.

His ears, though strange, were unmistakable. Beautiful.

She didn't have to think about the tail for a moment. She couldn't shake the guilt of what she'd done. She had damaged one of those beautiful tail fins. The longer she thought about it, the more certain she was that she had damaged it irreversibly.

Would he ever be able to forgive her? Would he ever be able to forgive her for putting him in this predicament? But if she hadn't shot him down, they would have never met...

All these dragon elements in his appearance complemented his eyes. She had never seen a prettier green. She never knew she loved that color so much. Like the forest and the peaceful rustle of leaves and prickly pine needles.

All this gave him a certain originality, a certain uniqueness. And Astrid appreciated that uniqueness, was attracted to it. She didn't want to admit anything she felt. What she felt for someone who was human in only small, tiny part.