Found again (HTTYD FF)

★41★

Snotlout had had trouble holding on onto his huge Monstrous Nigtmare's neck ever since he accepted the dragon as an equal and first flew him over the village. Back then, he had only his horns at his disposal. There was nothing else he could hold on to. If he gripped the dragon tightly with his thighs, he would only tear his skin on his scales.

He'd had trouble holding on  even after Gobber had created the first saddles for them - imperfect and in need of major modifications. It was better than nothing, though. At least he was assured that the straps on the saddle that held his legs in place would keep him on the dragon's back in an emergency and he would not crash to certain death.

He'd had trouble staying in the saddle after those few weeks of practice, even after the saddle's functionality had been upgraded - Gobber had figured that out surprisingly quickly - and he was having trouble staying in the sky now. So far he and Hookfang had been flying slow and steady, the dragon rider far from ready for anything more complicated.

This was definitely the worst he'd experienced on a dragonback yet, Snotlout was sure.

He yelled. What else could he do? His infatuated dragon darted forward and down - to grab the flying fish.

He gripped Hookfang's horns tightly, his thighs gripping the saddle with all his strength - the layer of saddle between him and the dragon's scales allowed him to do so - even though the straps held him in place. He couldn't help it. He had to hold on somehow.

He doubted he would get rid of the auxiliary straps after this experience. Astrid and the twins had never flown with them - just him and Fishlegs. After this experience, he would stop being ashamed of it. Maybe he'll end up being proud of himself for leaving the straps on and one day be the only one to stay in the saddle while the others drop to the ground like plums.

Hookfang finally leveled out his flight and Snotlout could breathe a sigh of relief.

"Hookfang! What was that!? Bad dragon, bad dragon! Don't you dare do something like that again!" Hookfang snorted in irritation. "What? You take that back!" Snotlout had no idea what Hookfang had said. And he didn't care. Somehow their communication worked anyway.

But deep down, he was glad Hookfang hadn't set him on fire this time.

Snotlout looked around. He had lost sight of all the members of their little group during Hookfang's hunt for the fish, now he had to find them again. He ran his eyes over the flock of colorful bodies once, twice, three times, but no one was anywhere. How was he supposed to find them like this? The flock was huge! It was impossible to find them in the jumble of colors, not for someone with such a scattered attention span as Snotlout.

"Hey, Snotlout!"

Snotlout turned to follow the voice.

"What's taking you so long? We've all been waiting for you! Even Astrid's there!"

"Hurry up, the last one there is a muttonhead!"

Of course Astrid had sent the twins to get him.

"Come on, Hookfang," he ordered his dragon. He added louder: "I don't know where to go, you idiots, of course I'll be last!"

"That's the point, sucker!" Ruffnut shouted back at him.

This time, Snotlout snorted in frustration and frowned as he followed the Zippleback. As it turned out, their group, including Hiccup and the Night Fury, who immediately shot a murderous glare towards Hookfang, were hidden behind several Groncles - how could he have missed them?

He wasn't paying attention to what anyone was saying. He wasn't in the mood to worry about anything but his own humiliation at not being able to find the others. He must have sunk very low - what would his father think of him? Would that just give him another chance to scold him? Just another chance to tell him how useless he was? How incompetent a warrior he was? How pointless was the idea of teaming up with dragons? How pointless it is to like "some lowly animal that rather deserves to be slaughtered"? He'd just take him on again the first chance he got. He'd start dictating to him what he should and shouldn't do, how he should behave - to friends and enemies alike - what he should say to whom and what he should keep to himself. He would start trying to mold him into something - someone - that Snotlout was not - someone his father wanted him to be. Into the perfect warrior and leader his father had always wanted to be - and never was. That's why he was trying to make Snotlout the person he wanted to be, selfishly fulfilling his dream.

Snotlout didn't want to care so much about what anyone thought, but Spitelout's influence had already plunged him so deeply into insecurity and lack of self-confidence that he couldn't help himself. It had become a habit he was trying so hard to break.

To no avail.

So far.

No matter what Spitelout thought - Snotlout was an adult, and for a long time now, he couldn't care less what his father thought of him. He was going to break the habit for good.

"Come, I want to show you something," were the first words that Snotlout fully registered - too late to encourage his Nightmare to fly before he, himself, went after the others.

Hiccup and Toothless were the first to fly, with Astrid close behind, and only a short distance behind all the others, with Snotlout at the very end.

The stubborn Viking didn't care he was the last. With a dragon as big as Hookfang, he couldn't fly in the middle of the group anyway. He had to stick to the edges. In this case, that meant flying last. At least he had a good view on everyone - and if something attacked, he'd be the last one the attacker would target... unless they attacked from behind.

The group of dragons, their riders, and one... hybrid left the flock that still lingered in place and headed away from it and the nest.

Snotlout couldn't guess where Hiccup was leading them. At the sight of him, a feeling of immeasurable happiness washed over Snotlout again. True, he hadn't treated his cousin the best when they were little. He'd tripped his feet, punched him for no reason, laughed at him for every stupid thing he did. He only had fun with him for his own pleasure and to show him that he was better than him at everything. But that didn't stop him from forming a strong emotional bond with his cousin - deep in his heart. He cared about him. He was his family.

He ran into the woods and hid there for a few hours, sobbing, when he heard the news that he would never see Hiccup again. He remembered very well how he had regretted everything he had ever done to his cousin that day. He stille could recall the pain of loss he had felt that day and every day thereafter until it dulled with time. If he wanted, he still could find the rotten stump in the woods, at the roots of which he had curled up in a ball and hoped no one would find him there by nightfall.

He wished Hiccup would come back, then.

But he never imagined it would happen. That he would emerge fifteen years later, alive, winged and without a single memory of his childhood.

First, he needed to get over the shock of realizing that this was reality and not some crazy dream. Then he had to absorb the fact that there were creatures that, while human, had at some stage left almost all humanity behind and were more like the mortal enemies of Berkians - until recently.

Only then could he really feel the joy of his cousin's return. He was very different from how he had imagined he would grow up - how he would have grown up in a normal world. But he was Hiccup, and he was back. And Snotlout finally had to admit that there hadn't been a day in years when he hadn't missed his cousin, when he hadn't thought about what he might be doing if he were alive.

It was time for a chapter from Snotlout's point of view! Were you all excited? Couldn't wait? Here it is! (Snotlout is literally the hardest character to write.)