~'|Little miss Perfect||Shinomitsu||Kny|'~

🌸☆~'||'~Volume 12~'||'~☆🌸

🌸~'||'~Chapter 12~'||'~🌸
"My younger sister.."
~----~
⚠️🌸~'|--Warning--|'~🌸⚠️
This chapter contains...
Insecurities
Mental health issues
Small toxic friendship
Toxic friendship red flags
Self harm
Terrible addiction
Bad Grammer
Terrible spelling
Side Ships
Lbgt
Lesbian
Mitsuri x Shinobu
.
.
.

-----
🌸~'||'~Shinobu's pov~'||'~🌸
-----

.
.
.

"A-are you okay? Shinobu?"

I felt like I couldn't keep it a secret anymore. It's like someone has to know and that someone has to be Kanao herself! But what if she doesn't give a shit? She never really felt any type of emotion...even when someone did end up passing away in our lifes, she couldn't even cry. I'm sure she cared but, she never really shown it. I was terrified, "I'm fine Kanao! Say! Since Kanae is actually visiting for her small winter break soon, was wondering if you wanted to make cookies or her! I said with a smile.

"Is there something...your not..telling me?"

"Hm? What do you mean by that?" No matter how hard I tried, Sabito, Mitsuri. I couldn't stop acting like my older sister, still desperate to be like her, and be someone who will be able to be loved, to be in a body worthy of love.

"There was blood on your sink when I went to borrow something...and lately you been coming home acting weird....why do you act like..Kanae?"

That was the most she has ever reallu spoken to me, but does it have to be this...? On this topic?

"It's not to worry about Kanao! You know! Everyone changes! And see your even talking more! Not to mention the blood on my sink, may have been an odd place, but you know we're women right?"

"Why do you never tell me any?! I feel like ever since she left you bee trying to be her! I was pushed aside! I tried so hard! I tried to be your sister! Is it because I'm not your biological sister?!"

"K-Kanao...it's not that I-" Kanao didn't even let me finish my sentence, "Wait Kanao!" She ran upstairs and I heard the door to her room slam. She actually had an outburst, an emotion full of anger, distress, agony, loneliness, envy...I felt like we were more similar than I thought, those words she spat at me, was it really true?

Kanae always told me to watch other Kanao, because we were close in age, and she will still be in the same school as me when she leaves. Kanae was always busy, so I had to watch. I only did so because I was told so...so did I ever loved Kanao? I love her, I'll kill for her, I'll put my life in the line. But how come I was so afraid to speak up? Just because I thought she would judge me, all this time it feels like it all has to matter what happens to me in the end. In the end, I was selfish in that conversation, I was always thinking about myself, not what others feel.

Mitsuri starves herself...
I bullied Giyu cause I liked him...
Sabito changed for love...
Obanai had problems...
Kanao feels pushed aside...

But even before I found out, did I ever give a shit about Knowing any of those things?!

I ran upstairs, and noticed Kanao's room was locked when I twisted the door knob. "Kanao...please open this door right now.." when I said that, there was no answer, so I tried again, "Kanao please, I wanna talk to you about something..." I tried again yet she didn't answer. I turned to leave but then I heard the door unlock and she opened the doors her eyes almost turning red. She sat on her bed, ignoring my existence for a little while I sat next to her in silence.

"Kanao...I hate myself...I hate for who I am and how I tried to change it. You see, I was always jealous of Kanae, she was always sweet, she didn't care of what others thought, she had good grades, and most of all, she was loved by all. I can't hate her, because I love her...but I can't help but feel this envy, this sin."

"S-so why did you do it..?"

"I wanted to feel the same way she did, I felt like I was always in the shadow, I always felt like I was not good enough, I wanted to be the perfect daughter everyone expected me to be. Because when they see how good Kanae was, they will always expect to see the same type of girl she was when it comes to me."

"You know...I felt that...I always feel...small... unimportant...they always expect me to be like you two...but I couldn't....I can hardly cry...speak...feel anger. I don't even know if I could have fall in love with someone...before I met her...."

"Her?"

Kanao blushed embarrassment and she whispered, "I-I like Nezuko...I always thought I liked Tanjiro because he helped me with my speaking, but...Nezuko....there is something about her that I love... I'm scared to tell her..."

"You know that pink green hair girl...Mitsuri?"

"Yeah?" Kanao still covering her face with her confession, I was not sure if I was able to come out to her...that I liked Mitsuri. But if she told me how she felt, I couldn't let her feel like she as the only who was supposed to say the truth. "I-I like Mitsuri...I felt so selfish around her...cause I felt like all this time I cared about myself...I felt like Mitsuri was only there so I could envy her. But I fallen for her...and I was red when I got inside because I let my love consume me and I kissed her..."

"You kissed her?!"

"I kissed her and I feel stupid!" I covered my face, burying them in my knees, trying to hide my red face like Kanao did.

"We're sisters after all, I'm sure even Kanae felt the same way...but mistakes happen..we are gonna do something stupid...but it can also lead to a lesson...or maybe even a great thing you never knew was supposed to happen...maybe you were supposed to kiss her..."

"I-I don't even know if she likes me back... I'm not even sure if I can see myself with a girl...she might still like that Obanai boy..."

"O-Obanai? No...Obanai and her are friends...they don't even really speak to each other anymore... I'm not sure if they even count as-"

"They do, they were talking during homeroom period, she seems happy with him...but I can't help but see the discomfort as well..."

At the same time.... during second period...

-----

"Shinobu.."

"Oh? Obanai? You haven't talk to me in a while? Still pissed off that I talked it your girl-"

"You can have Mitsuri...I told her not to fall in love with me..."

"B-but? Huh? Don't you have a-"

"Take her..."

------

I was so confused, but something must have happened that he really gave up on loving someone and tossed them to me instead.

"Even if she doesn't like you back.. atleast you felt like you were able to fall for someone you never knew you could fall for...there might be someone else out there who would love you back..."

Maybe...
But I want to be with Mitsuri...
I can't fall in love with anyone else...

------
🌸~'||'~Thanks for reading~'||'~🌸
----
Total words: 1257