About Harry

Chapter 3 - Ron's restlessness

As promised, a few days later Harry invited Ron to watch a training that Ginny was supervising.
Ginny made a career in the Chudley Cannon team managing their schedules, meetings and all the practical details and in a day as such she could be seen scurrying about busy in ensuring the security of the area and the invisibility from muggles.
It was a chilly day being now the beginning of winter but nevertheless the rays of sun warmed it up nicely. The spot they usually went to, was a bare space in the middle of the woods.
Many wizard families used these places to gather, the anti muggle spells ensuring a moment of relaxation and overall a good chance for children, and whoever felt like it, to play quidditch alongside the training, quite freely, free of the usual worries.
As soon as they got there, Lily spotted a knot of kids laughing and zooming with their toy broom on a far side 'Can I go dad?' she asked imploringly. She had brought her small one hoping for such occasion; she was very proud of her "seeker skills" as she heard somebody mention she got them from Harry and didn't miss a chance to show off when he was present.
'Go but be careful not to hurt yourself otherwise mum will blame it on me.'
'I never hurt myself.' she smiled cheekily trotting away.
Harry felt a wave of love and protection watching her go. He loved his boys very much, but Lily was his darling. He was proud of her beauty and ready wit, of her playfulness and bravery. She would always stand up when she thought an "injustice" was going on, regardless of the consequences.
She was born on the day before his birthday. Ginny went into labour in the afternoon while she was baking a cake for the next day. A few hours later, late into the night, the nurse gave him to hold this minuscule creature, bright pink with just a tuft of light and fluffy hair on her head. He had felt a dart piercing his heart when she finally opened her eyes and looked at him. He had been irremediably lost in love for that tiny little being. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes upon.
He remembered thinking that never in his life had he got a better birthday present and probably never will again. It couldn't even be compared to when he, at eleven, had found out to be a wizard. He had always considered that one his best present, but Lily had swept it entirely away replacing it. Sometimes he would hug her and whisper in her hear playfully 'You are my birthday present. Only mine! And a present, once given, cannot be asked back!' she would always laugh merrily saying that they could be each other's birthday present.
He was in dismay at the thought that he should part with her when the time would come for Lily to attend Hogwarts. He had to learn to do without having that ray of sunshine around the house. Thankfully she was just six years old and he still had five years to spoil and cuddle her.
Taken by those thought, Harry spotted Ron apparating not far away. He waved at him noticing with relief a smile on his face. It hadn't been a random choice to meet in a Quidditch environment for a chat. Lately he had found him increasingly nervous and restless and Quidditch was the card he was endeavouring to play to smoothen him enough for the conversation he was planning to have.
After a few casual words about the players and the ongoing season, Harry introduced the topic.
'Hermione came to visit us a few days ago.'
'I know, she told me...' he retorted with a shifty gaze 'I imagine she started to complain about me as usual. It seems it's the only topic she is able to talk about nowadays'.
'She just said that lately you look kind of low' Harry replied ignoring his answer ad trying to bring Ron to speak about what was bothering him.
'I hate it my job. It's as simple as that'
'It's a good job'
'It's a boring job. I'd like something different... something with a bit more thrill.'
'Didn't you get enough thrills in your life? When is it enough?' asked Harry shaking his head and laughing.
'You did too, and more than me, but still you get an adventurous job!' he pointed out grimly leaning back on the bench where they were sitting.
'You always make things sounds better than what they are. I assure you there is a lot of paperwork and boring stuff even in my job.'
'I dunno' he retorted sourly 'perhaps you are right but I feel like everybody is doing something interesting but me.'
In the meanwhile, the keeper made quite a spectacular saving, but Ron seemed to hardly notice. He witnessed it without uttering a sound. Only after the trainings had resumed, he asked, 'Don't you ever get bored with your life?'
Harry almost flinched ate the question 'Not at all!' he exclaimed with a laugh 'I love my life!'. Although witnessing the expression on his friend's face he sobered 'You don't though, do you?'
Ron was again silent for a second, pondering on the answer to give.
'I was expecting something different I guess.' He eventually said tentatively collecting a pebble from the ground and throwing it far off. 'After all we went through... I dunno... I thought something greater was expecting us! There must be something better I can hope for! I work as an accountant for Christ's sake!'
Harry didn't know what to say. For him it was so different. Just because of what they went through, he cherished what he had. It was great in his opinion. Just as it was.
He doted on his children and loved his wife. He felt he needed the stability his family provided. He had everything he thought he could never have and felt lucky and thankful every day. It was odd this could be so satisfying and fulfilling for him while being at the same time so underrated and not appreciated by Ron.
Perhaps it was because Harry never had a family to love or even better still, who loved him. He never had any stability or a real place to call home. For Ron, on the other hand, the entirety of it was natural and granted, he didn't prize it because it had always been there.
This thought clouded him and occupied by these reflections he failed to realise that the usual group of chattering girls was walking a few feet from them. They were staring and giggling, sending meaningful looks. As soon as Harry noticed it, he started to grow uneasy. They seemed inclined for an approach and it was his wish to avoid it whether possible. Especially because of Ginny, who wasn't very far off.
'Shall we walk a bit?' he asked Ron standing up suddenly, hoping to discourage the group. Ron eyed the girls and understanding Harry's intention followed.
'They were pretty though' he smirked and winked after having walked a few feet.
'They are practically babies... They cannot be more than twenty..."
'Well, they seem women enough to me...' he cackled after a quick look behind their shoulders to check the progression of the group 'I would give it a thought, if I were you...'
But seeing the look on Harry's face he added hurryingly with a laugh 'just a thought, mate!'
'Do I have to remind you that I'm married with your sister, and you are married with my best friend?'
He laughed again but then in a more curious and conspirator tone, placed an arm around Harry's neck whispering in earnest 'You can tell me, I promise I won't take it amiss, did you ever... you know...?'
'For heaven's sake, no!' he uttered startled by the question 'And in any case, I would hardly tell you of all people! You are only one of the five brothers Ginny has got, quite safe to tell you anything of the kind'
'I don't believe it! You had hundreds of chances! It' just impossible that you never...'
'Why, did you?' Harry interrupted him sharply.
Ron didn't look back at him but blushed slightly.
'I never even got the chance. Women don't gather around me like they do with you...' he muttered bitterly.
'Probably for the best by the sound of it...' he snapped back starting to feel irritated 'and by the way, it is not, again, as good as you make it sound.'
'It seems good to me!' Ron smirked regaining some glee looking back at the disappointed girls left behind.
'Do you think it is good to be followed wherever you go, stopped every time you step outdoors, being bothered by silly conversations just for the sake of being seen with famous "Harry Potter"? I would give this away anytime, believe me.'
Again, the old story; Ron still envied his popularity while Harry would get rid of it with pleasure. How could he fail to understand the weight, the bother! Everything he did, everything he said was under a spot of light. He couldn't go anywhere without being recognised, doing anything without being always bothered by thousands of vexing interruptions. He would pay any prize to be left alone. To be a nobody. And Ron kept talking of it like it was such a blessing.
After almost twenty years his popularity was still great, even greater, he admitted with dismay. The stories were retold and embellished making him look like a world hero. He tried to protect his children from it. It wasn't easy. He didn't want them to think he was somewhat better or more special than other people and overall, he didn't want them to think that of themselves. People tended to spoil them whenever they discovered whose children they were. That's why they would spend so much time in the muggle world rather than in the wizarding communities. There at least he could have a normal life. He had insisted for the kids to go to muggle primary school despite Ginny wasn't very much of the same mind. And they were living in London to better disappear in the crowd.
Although, despite all his efforts, they obviously couldn't fail to notice that he was treated differently whenever there was a wizard's gathering and they asked many times to be told of the past and about his scar, but Harry scarcely recounted them anything preferring to avoid questions and leaving explanations to Ron, who loved to narrate how he saved Harry and retrieved the Gryffindor's sword from the pond in the forest. Ron knew he could exaggerate as much as he liked about himself, but not about Harry.
The children were enjoying those stories very much, but they were receiving them softened and transposed like adventures out of a book.
The first one to realise all the implications and the magnitude and what they really meant, had been James. Harry remembered when he was eleven just back from his first Christmas holidays. After many years of mostly muggle interactions, he had been catapulted in a complete magical environment. At first, he had behaved differently towards Harry, he was more silent almost in awe. Probably trying to make coincide what he heard there with what he knew his father to be. After one or two days he was back to his normal self, but started to bombard him with questions, to which Harry didn't want to reply.
He didn't enjoy much speaking about the Voldemort bringing down. Not even to Ginny. He never approached the subject if he could avoid it. It hadn't been easy for him, after his defeat, to return to a normal life. He had needed a long time to quieten and to absorb that finally his mind was just his own, he didn't need to jump at any sudden movement or expecting to be ambushed at every corner.
He had had vivid nightmares for a long time with Voldemort returning to life challenging him again. He would threaten to kill in turn Ginny, or later the kids, and in the dream, he was always powerless, without his wand or injured.
He would always wake up covered in sweat with his heart feeling like it was about to jump out from his chest. When he started to share his bed with Ginny, he found out they weren't silent either. He would scream and shout without realising it. At first, she was really scared by it but then she became accustomed and tried to wake him up and soothe him afterwards.
Thankfully it didn't happen very often now. But he still preferred not to brood over the past concentrating on the present.
They stopped watching Lily playing with the other children. She got the tiny toy golden snitch they were using, she looked about and when spotting him, she weaved it into the air with a satisfied grin.
Good girl.
'I never really understood why Hermione fell in love with me instead of you...' Ron sighed bringing him back to their conversation.
'Well, you are not my cuppa, but you are not bad when in a good mood.' Harry joked to downplay the conversation, but he added more seriously 'You have something she loves that I don't apparently. And she would never have fallen in love with me just because I was "the boy who lived". Thankfully she is smarter than that! Try not to fight with her please. She is a wonderful woman who deserves something better than gloom and complains.'
Ron didn't reply, his mind occupied by his own reflections.
They started getting back and Harry truly hoped Ron would find the strength to fight against the restlessness that was overpowering him.