About Harry

Chapter 7 - The Horcrux

He woke up with a startle notwithstanding the gentleness Ginny had used to prod him.
'Harry, we still need to talk.'
'Can we do it tomorrow?' he answered feeling dazed, not up for what it was surely going to be a difficult conversation.
'No, we must do it now. While Lily is asleep, and you have to change.'
'Why?' he mumbled confused standing up and following her out of the room.
Once the door had been closed behind them she explained 'You have to go to check on Hermione. I believe Hugo is at the Burrow tonight, but we cannot be sure. And judging by our dilapidated living room I don't want to imagine the state in which you will find her'.
Apprehension passed in Harry's eyes.
'I don't think he hurt her but for sure he hasn't been gentle either.' Ginny added seeing his expression.
Concern commanding him a certain hurry, he changed and darted downstair followed by Ginny.
An impulse stopped him right at the door, he turned, took Ginny around the waist and kissed her. And then staring into her eyes to be sure to have her attention, avowed 'You are an angel, and I don't deserve you.'
Her lips stretched in a smile while responding with a caress 'I'm no such thing and it is the other way around. Now go!' she concluded untangling from his grip and opening the door.
A second later he found himself out in the icy night and focusing on Hermione and Ron's suburb he took the step to disapparate.
He made sure to appear in the cemetery behind the church where no muggles would have been present at that late hour. The main street was likewise quiet, just two cats about, rummaging in a nearby rubbish bin. His breath formed a small cloud in front of his face; the biting cold forced his hands in the pockets looking for some warmth.
Hermione and Ron lived in a modern house with a garden in front. Harry was always reminded of number 4, privet drive. All the houses in the street looked quite the same, extremely well kept and anonyms. Hermione made miracles to make it look like a normal muggle house. Just, going around the building, in the back garden, one could see it couldn't possibly be what it seemed like. In the whole atmosphere there was a palpable feel of magic. It was wild, cheerfully messy with kids' brooms and magical toys lying everywhere. Few garden gnomes were running freely. Hermione had taken them there for the fun of Crookshank. Now that the cat was no more, they proliferated very well.
He stopped on the front door undecided on what to do.
The risk of Ron being there, back after the outburst, was a possibility that Harry didn't want to test.
He walked up and down trying to get an hint. All the lights were out.
He dared a knock at the door. Nobody answered. He tried again with more conviction. Nothing.
Although, the wish to check on Hermione was stronger than reticence. He walked to the back door, took the wand out and whispered a spell to open it. Hermione and Ron told him how to do it in case of emergency, and this was definitely an emergency.
Everything was dark inside the kitchen. The moonlight was projected on the furniture creating long shadows on the walls and floor, but everything seemed tidy and as he was used to see it.
He moved very quietly trying to avoid any noise but another one, coming from the living room, caught his ear.
Hermione was curled up in a corner, in the shadow and utterly still. A glimmer of light coming from a window was upon her fingers, interlocked on her knees. Harry stared at her for a moment. The situation was oddly similar to the one of nineteen years before when Ron had left them. It was the same position, the same distress. He pronounced her name. She jumped in fright emitting a high pitch shrill at that unexpected noise but then, recognising him, she pressed her hand on her chest panting 'Blimey Harry! Did you want to give me a heart attack, or what?'
'I'm sorry, I knocked at the door, but nobody answered, and I thought I would come quietly in case...'.
Her face all blotched and swollen interrupted the sentence, the pallid light had the only purpose to enlighten all the emotions she had endured that evening.
'...in case Ron was here. I gather he came to visit you' she concluded it for him.
'Is Hugo here?'
She shook her head 'Thankfully not. I guessed he would come to you. He was in such a rage. I've never seen him like that. He looked demented. I honestly feared him...'
Her gaze enquired for answers but Harry didn't want to provide them; the fear had quenched seeing her unharmed, leaving space only for a question that nagged him.
'Why the hell did you tell him? Why, after almost twenty years, did you tell him?! What was the need?!'
She wavered a moment, bewildered by that sudden reproach and only looked ta him perplexed but then she assumed the same irked tone 'It's not exactly I told him! I'm sorry Harry but to be honest I'm very surprised he didn't find out before! When we got together I thought everything was going to come out and I was prepared to lie in case that would happen, even if , to be truly honest, I didn't exactly know what I would have said but it didn't! And after so many years I was sure it wouldn't happen anymore. When he asked me tonight, he took me by surprise! I wasn't prepared, and he understood straight away it was you by my hesitation. I tried to explain to him, but he wouldn't listen! He yelled horrible things at me and he just stormed out before I could stop him'.
Harry hesitated listening to her words 'But why did you think he would find out?'
She looked at him impatiently 'Harry don't be such a simpleton! It was the first time for both of us! It doesn't leave trace on men, but it does on women most unfortunately!'
Comprehension doomed on him, strangely, he never really thought about that. To be honest he had never even thought about it again. After Ron's return, everything started to happen with a pressing pace up to the duel with Voldemort. And when he succeeded in beating him all kinds of different events started to happen. He was finally starting to live his life without the threat of death. It just never paused to reflect on it.
But then a new doubt appeared in his mind.
'How come did he realise it now then?' Harry asked sitting beside her.
She frowned and relaxed in a more comfortable position 'I have no idea, beside that today he spent the day with Lee. You know how he boasts about his love life. Maybe he told him something that made him doubt...'.
They were silent for a couple of minutes. They never really acknowledged those nights to each other. The wish to pretend it never happened was so strong they tacitly agreed not to mention it. Harry thought being open would have been awkward, but he realised with relief that it wasn't. Ginny was right, it happened a long time ago in a difficult moment of their life, but it actually never affected their friendship afterward.
However, he felt the need to apologise; an apology long overdue.
'What for?' she asked back, puzzled.
'For that night. I'm sure you never would have done it, I behaved shamefully.'
Hermione smiled, 'You are sweet, but it is not as you raped me or anything. I was there. I've done it too. I was perfectly aware of what I was doing ...I just felt so...' he completed her sentence 'lonely'.
She nodded.
'It was lucky you never got pregnant or anything...'
She frowned at those words. 'Lucky?' she asked.
'Well, yes...'
She rolled her eyes 'Harry your ingenuity is disarming... It wasn't luck, I knew how not to let it happen'
This avowal was totally unexpected for Harry 'You mean a spell?'
'Of course I mean a spell! Somebody had to think of it and since you didn't seem to bother...'
'But... How could you possibly know?'
Harry thought about the Hogwarts's library, well-furnished surely but not of that kind of material.
She rolled her eyes again with even more emphasis 'Harry I spent six year in the same dormitory with other four girls and even if in the male one it sounds like you probably just spoke about quidditch, it wasn't the same in ours. And believe me when I say they weren't as saint as me'.
He startled 'Bloody hell! Who was Parvati having sex with????'
She slapped him on the shoulder scowling 'We are not here to speak about Parvati's love life!'
But spotting the constrained expression on Harry's face, who was struggling very much not too appear eager, burst out laughing.
'Alright since it was such a long time ago and we don't see her anymore...'
This twenty years old gossip entertained them for a while, allowing a shared cheerfulness and it was almost like being back in the Gryffindor common room, in front of the roaring fire, for a moment.
But, unfortunately, they weren't teenagers anymore, they weren't in the Gryffindor's common room but in Hermione's place and Ron had just tried to use a Cruciatus Curse on Harry. The silence that followed the momentary merriment, swept away the remaining laughter, bringing them back to the unhappy reality of the situation. And the guilt of what they had done weighted on their shoulders heavier and immutable.
'I should probably go. Ginny is waiting, she may be worried' Harry said looking at his watch.
Hermione, on his side, wavered.
'How...?' probed with a shifting glance revealing a return of distress.
'She is all right. She understands and doesn't blame us. Although, I can tell you, it hasn't been a fun Saturday night'
Harry filled her in about what had passed and while he was explaining a look of incredulity dawn on her face.
'An unforgivable curse?' she exclaimed aghast 'Where do you think he is now?'
'At the Burrow? I have no clue. We will find out, but I don't think we can do much now' the watch was pointing to midnight already 'Look Hermione I must go' Harry concluded realising it 'it's late but I'm not letting you here. You come with me; you can sleep in James' room'.
Suddenly he felt in a rush to leave the house and bring her friend with him. It wouldn't have looked at all well in Ron's eyes to find him there together and he couldn't place enough trust in him to leave her behind.
She didn't need to be persuaded. Probably she felt the same way. She packed the few things she needed and they swiftly left the house.
Ginny was waiting for them and when she opened the door Harry was able to spot some relief. Although, Hermione on the other side was hesitating. She was rigid on the threshold unsure about Ginny's reaction despite Harry's words.
Noticing it, Harry felt suddenly very awkward, his glance shifting from one to the other, and would have loved to melt away in the wall behind him. However, Ginny didn't permit those feelings to develop; without any uncertainty she hugged her, and pulled her gently inside 'You are going to catch cold, come into the kitchen'.
Hermione under the hug relaxed, soothed by the affectionate reception. Harry perceiving some repressed tears, as if that hug was directed to him, felt again at ease and grateful in having such a strong wonderful woman beside him.
Hermione followed Ginny meekly, and they sat around the table. Although once there they were able only to look at each other, at loss for words.
Hermione broke the uneasy silence first 'What do we do?'
'I don't know' Ginny admitted with a isgh 'But this is not going to be easy. At all.' She paused to think 'He called you a liar. He said something about a horcro-something. What does it mean? What did you tell him?' she asked turning to Harry.
He looked enquiringly at Hermione who nodded slightly.
They never told anybody about the horcrux agreeing that the fewer people knew about it the better, yet, now, they had no choice but to explain. Harry told her briefly what they were.
'So that's why You-Know-Who managed to return after he tried to kill you as a baby...' she remarked horrified once that the explanation was at an end.
'Yes' he admitted 'and trying to kill me made me an involuntary horcrux. That's why I could see Nagini attacking your father. I wasn't possessed, I just had a piece of Voldemort's soul inside me and I could see through his eyes when he was killing and torturing people and.....stuff...' he didn't elaborate further seeing the bewildered look on Ginny's face.
'You never told me any of this... Why?'
He became impatient 'It doesn't matter now! It's Ron we are talking about and there is something else.' He addressed Hermione 'Even you don't know about this. When I opened the locket, it didn't just scream as we told you then.' And he explained to them the truth of what happened, of Voldemort's voice speaking Ron's fears and insecurities and about the two figures of him and Hermione appearing from the locket kissing and her words saying that she loved Harry and didn't care about him.
'It was a very painful moment to him.' He concluded.
Hermione had eyes as big as two saucers, 'This is what really happened?'
He nodded 'Obviously I couldn't tell you without betraying him and after he smashed it I told him that you cried for days after he left and that I loved you as a sister and nothing more and it was the same thing for you. Which was true!'
She was speechless.
'This makes everything ten thousand time worst' Ginny said as a matter of fact 'That's what he wanted to say when he left.'
Harry expression turned puzzled.
'Didn't you hear it?' Ginny asked rising her eyebrows perplexed.
He snapped 'I don't know if you notice but I was very occupied trying to keep up a Protego charm, not to be killed and at the same time worried about what you were thinking about me'
'He said something like "she was the only thing". Harry I'm sure that he meant to say that she was the only thing she won over you.'
Silence fell again. Hermione was swimming in tears by then.
'Probably all his old insecurities returned in an even greater form finding that out.' Ginny added pensively rubbing her face passing Hermione a handkerchief that was received gratefully.
Ginny placed her chin on her fist, her gaze lost; she looked tired and worried 'There is not much else we can do now anyway. We better go to bed and tomorrow we call mum and dad to see if he is there. And if he is not, we will try to find out where he is.'
It was spoke with determination, but Harry could feel hesitation behind her words. What would they do once they found him?
When Ginny and Harry were in bed, sensing his distress, she hugged him tightly in the dark.
'We will fix this. I don't know how but we will. Don't worry.' She told him softly.
He let himself relax in her arms but didn't answer, he wasn't positive. There were too many unresolved issues between him and Ron that couldn't be fixed so easily or soon. If ever Harry told himself with dismay.