About Harry

Chapter 13 - I won't fight with you

The sun was shining over Shell Cottage, snow had fallen abundantly, and they found themselves ankle deep in it when they apparated. The sea, smooth and sparkling, on their side blinded and a seagull was flying on it far away. Harry, feeling pervaded with a glimmer sense of piece, thought that he would have liked, once the kids would have grown and moved out, to come to live in a place like that.
The children started to run uphill toward the house, throwing snowballs against each other, their loud cheering covering the gentle rumble of the sea and the squealing of the birds.
Harry and Ginny were unable to partake that sense of excitement in the doubt of what was expecting them.
When they reached the top they found everybody there; Albus, James and Lily had already joined the other children and a knot of people talking animatedly stood close to the shelter. It was evident though that it wasn't a pleasant Christmassy chat, expression were too set, voices too strained. They didn't have the time to look for any sign of Ron that Fleur reached them. Seeing the kids coming, she had run to them before they could approach the house. Her silvery hair whipped her face dishevelled by the wind and her face betrayed a vivid preoccupation. Words left her mouth so quickly they were all jumbled up, her accent, never disappeared, heightened 'Harry, you must go away, right now! Ron is 'ere and...' she didn't get to finish the sentence. They perceived him detaching from the rest, Molly who tried to hold him was brusquely shook off. Tension was stamped on everybody's face. Harry and Ginny realised straight away they made a mistake in coming in seeing Ron approaching. He marched steadfast with his wand clutched in his hand sporting a livid expression. He halted several feet from Harry, and looking ominously in Harry's eyes, he spoke with a low strained voice 'I told you quite clearly I don't want to see you around my family anymore.'
'This is my family too.' Harry told him back without flinching, sustaining the stare.
'It is not. It has never been. You always tried to steal it from me. But I won't allow it any longer.'
'You are raving.' Harry answered trying to understand his intention; they were still in time to back away if he just would allow them to. However, he could feel that stepping back now would have only incensed Ron further. He wanted to avoid at all costs a scene in front of the kids, who, grouped on aside, observed them with confused and slightly alarmed expressions. Therefore, he kept his ground on the lookout for any opening that would allow him to extricate himself without a row.
'We are settling it today, once and for all.' Ron said pointing the wand against Harry 'No Protego spell, we duel now.'
He could see people paralyzed around them, unsure on how to behave, and Harry hoped they wouldn't come forward afraid the situation could be triggered even more. He felt Ginny two steps behind him and whispered to her 'Get back, do not intervene. I have to deal with this alone.'
Ginny's eyes darted from him to Ron with apprehension, but she did as she was told, and she backed away slowly.
Harry took his wand from his pocket, and keeping at arm length, so that it was very visible to Ron, let it drop in the snow beside him.
'I won't fight with you' he stated.
Ron became scarlet with rage 'Yes, you are. You pick up that wand and you face me'
'I won't.' Harry responded resolutely. He knew that fighting Ron would just make things worse. He was sure he would have beaten him; he was fitter and overall, more skilled with magic. He had spent the last fifteen years fighting against dark magic while Ron was working in a shop. There was no way in which Ron could prevail on him. And he knew as well that if he had defeated him, here, in front of his family, everything would have been lost forever. The humiliation would have been too great.
'You can use the Cruciatus Curse on me if it will make you feel better. I deserve it. I promise I won't budge. And if you are so enraged you want to use the Avada Kedavra, well... I have already bought nineteen years of life I didn't expect to have. I'm not afraid.'
It was a bold step, and certainly he didn't want to die but he was sure that Ron wouldn't have struck him defenceless, and his rage would have evaporated fast.
For a moment he thought he had been right. He saw Ron's wand waver and his expression alter from anger to indecision.
But then, the anger returned and with a swift move, he steadied his arm and a green light sprouted from his wand, menacing in its silence.
Everything happened very quickly.
Lily started to run, probably to try to stop Ron or to get to Harry or just wanting to stand between them. He wasn't sure which one. However, Harry had already understood that Ron's spell wasn't destined to hit him. He aimed to low. It was a gesture only intended to give him a scare him without real intention of hurting anybody. But Lily couldn't know it and she was in the middle of them, suddenly, at the wrong moment.
He saw it in slow-motion. The green light hit her square in the head, and he saw her falling like a doll. A pink dot keel over on the ground.
'No' he whispered, but he found himself incapable of any movement. His mind was ordering him to run, but his body wouldn't respond, immobilised by shock. He heard Ginny screaming and that high pitch sound managed to unblock him. 'No' he shouted now darting to Lily's body lying in the snow. He took her in his arms, he caressed her, he shook her, but she didn't move, her eyes were closed.
He felt panic rising, he didn't know what to think, he didn't know what to do. He tried to call her but his voice was trembling, a tremble that spread in all his body. And the dreadful possibility made his way snakelike in his mind 'What if...?'.
Ginny got to them and took her from him. Harry was in mind-blocking shock but with the corner of his eye he spotted Ron, 'Which spell did he use?' and this sudden thought had to power to pierce his shock.
He sprang to his feet and in a second was upon him.
Ron, speechless, was looking at Lily. His freckles even more visible over his white face. Harry took him by the collar and shouted, 'Which spell did you use?'
He didn't seem to hear him, his glance fixed on Lily, in Ginny's arms. Harry yanked him violently 'Which spell did you use?' he shouted even louder fighting the impulse of hitting him.
He startled, as if realising only at that moment that Harry was there and stammered 'I... it wasn't the Avada...' while this was going on between them, around was chaos. Screams were coming from every direction soon joined by many presences. Ted got there first and glimpsing him, Harry let go of Ron and dropped again on the ground close to them. For sure Ted could help. He was just in training but surely, he could help. Ted ordered to call for a healer and he saw Arthur and Bill, at the same time, taking their wands and produce a Patronus that darted away.
Ted asked Ginny to place Lily back on the ground. Lily's dark red hair made a crown around her head, and in the snow, looked strikingly like blood. Her face was pale, and her eyes still closed.
Ginny was trembling violently, looking at Ted in desperation and hope. No words could make their ways.
Ted got his wand, ignited it and opening Lily's eyelids moved it in front of them. He then took her wrist and put his fingers on it waiting for the pulse.
Those were the longest seconds in Harry's life. In his head was just pounding the same phrase over and over and over again 'Pleasedon'tletherbedeadPleasedon'tletherbedeadPleasedon'tletherbedead'.
Ted's answer never came. He rested gently Lily's arm against her body and after a moment he looked at Harry. Quite simply, without speaking, his expression blank, he just stared at Harry, with those penetrating eyes of a shade of blue so light they were almost white, and Harry knew.
He felt dazed, confused. Like from very far away he heard Ginny emitting a sound he never heard before from her or anybody else. It was a long howl of pain and desperation coming from deep inside. Powerful sobs shook her bending her body in two, her hair falling like a curtain around her head brushing Lily's chest. Molly dropped on her side and hugged her, ash face.
He saw Arthur trying to take the reluctant children away and all the others were around them aghast.
Ron was still where he left him, gazing from Lily to his hands, his eyes wet and horror struck.
And it happened then. The sight of Ron unlocked in him a fury like he never felt before. Cold and violent. Its swallowed Harry completely. He couldn't see anything that was standing in front of his eyes. He just felt this feeling getting hold of him completely. It was disempowering his reason and enhancing his instinct. And his instinct, that was stronger than anything else, wanted to see Ron dead. He didn't have his wand with him but even if he did, he wouldn't have used it. He wanted to kill him with his bare hands.
He stood up in a flash, seized Ron's shoulders and before he could realise that Harry was on him, he gathered all his strength and socked him hard right on the face. He heard a crack, something had broken. It could have been his hand or Ron's nose; he didn't know which and neither he cared. Blood sprouted from Ron's face on Harry's fist. Without letting him go he kneed him in the stomach, more blood from Ron's mouth to his coat, and when he was on the floor, he started to kick him with all the strength he could master. This intense bloody red was the only colour Harry was able to see; on his fist, on Ron's face, now unrecognisable and on the snow around them.
It incensed him even more.
Ron wasn't opposing any resistance, perhaps he had lost consciousness, it was difficult to say. But that inertia didn't calm Harry at all.
Hermione screamed in alarm and two people, he didn't know who, took him by the shoulders trying to pull him away. The anger he felt gave him an energy he normally didn't possess, he struggled to free himself and he knew that they were no match for him, he could overcome them easily. They felt it too, so one of them, that turned out to be Bill, shouted 'George, do something!'.
And from far away Harry perceived George pointing his wand toward him 'Stupefy' he heard, and everything went blank.