Remembrance

Recollection

Penelope found herself standing in a sunlit park, the laughter of children echoing around her. She watched as a young boy, Colin Bridgerton, galloped on his horse, his carefree smile brightening the day. Suddenly, her bonnet, caught by a gust of wind, flew off and obscured his view. She heard a thud and a laugh, and when she looked again, Colin was on the ground. She ran to him, heart pounding, and helped him up, their eyes meeting for the first time. Even then, she felt a strange connection, a spark of something that would later grow into deeper feelings.

The scene shifted to when she was five and ten, just two days short for her sixteenth birthday. Penelope stood at the edge of the Bridgerton drawing room as the family was having a faux ball at Daphne's request, feeling out of place and self-conscious. Colin, older and more handsome, approached her with that charming smile she had always adored. He bowed and asked for a dance, her heart fluttering as she took his hand. It was the first time she truly fell in love, the first time she felt seen and valued.

More moments flashed by. Colin inviting her for dances at numerous balls, always there to save her from awkward situations and from Cressida Cowper's cruel jabs. His kindness was a lifeline in the often harsh social world they navigated.

But then came the memory of her first real heartbreak. Colin had proposed to her cousin, Marina Thompson. Penelope had tried to warn him, knowing Marina's heart belonged to another. But Colin had been blind to her warnings, his refusal to believe her words a dagger to her heart.

The memory then shifted to a night at her family's ball. Colin had pulled her away, his grip firm and protective. He confronted Cousin Jack, defending their family's honor, and then dragged her to the dance floor, whispering promises of protection and care. He told her she was special, and for a moment, she allowed herself to believe it.

But all the happy memories blurred and twisted into the moment that shattered her world. She had overheard Colin telling Fife and his friends how he would never dream of courting her, even in Fife's wildest dreams. His words, filed with disdain, tore her apart. She felt like an abomination, her dreams of becoming his wife crumbling to dust.

The pain was unbearable. Penelope violently sat up in bed, gasping for air as tears streamed down her cheeks. The dream felt so real, so vivid, that she could not tell if it was a mere figment of her imagination or a resurfacing of forgotten memories. She was too confused to think clearly. If those were indeed her forgotten memories, what parts of them were true? Did her relationship with Colin run deeper than those with Eloise and Anthony? Was Colin's earlier apology related to the cruel words from her dream?

Penelope shook her head fiercely, pressing trembling fingers to her pounding temples. She could grasp at no firm truths, only scraps of emotion that defied coherent alignment in her addled psyche.

Determined to uncover the truth, Penelope swung her legs out of bed, albeit struggling with the headache that still plagued her. She glanced at the clock and realized the family should be in the dining hall for the midday meal. Not wanting to encounter Colin without understanding their past, she decided to seek out Eloise's room.

She remembers Eloise, mentioning in passing that she kept a complete collection of Lady Whistledown's issues. If even a portion of her haunting visions rang true, that inimitable dollop of scandal would surely have inked the tale. Penelope hoped the publications could provide the clarity she desperately needed. She made her way to Eloise's room, her steps unsteady but her resolve firm, determined to find the answers hidden within the pages of the notorious gossip column.

Penelope Featherington traced the steps towards Eloise's room, her mind clouded with a sense of urgency and confusion. Though it was untoward to enter the brunette's bedchambers without her presence and permission, Penelope proceeded to invade her friend's privacy. She felt a twinge of guilt but pushed it aside, driven by her desperate need for answers.