Everything at the beginning of summer was fantastic but as the adoption got closer, Sadie was getting nervous. The thoughts of what-ifs continued to plague her mind and caused a ton of unneeded anxiety.
What if they changed their minds?
What if they didn't actually want her?
What if the adoption fell through?
"Earth to Sadie," Chase said as he tapped the table beside her.
"Sorry, what?" She asked, looking up at her soon-to-be father.
"Do you want eggs or just toast?" He asked, getting ready to make breakfast while Kaycee fed Adeline her jar of bananas.
"Both please?" She asked more than answered his question.
"You alright kiddo? You're quiet lately," Kaycee asked, looking at Sadie as she fed Adeline.
"Yeah," she nodded as she got up, ready to leave the table, "I'm good. I uh. I promised Em I would help her. Bye,"
"Breakfast is almost done,"
"No thanks!" She called, rushing upstairs before she ran out the door.
"That was..." Kaycee started, looking over at Chase.
"I thought the same thing," he nodded, turning back to the eggs that were on the stove.
——————
"What are you so afraid of?" Emily asked as they walked the track at the school.
"I don't know," Sadie groaned as they walked along the path. "I guess the rejection,"
"Are you serious?" Emily laughed as she stopped walking and grabbed her friend's arm.
"What?"
"You really think that?" The other girl asked, making her best friend look at her.
"I don't know," Sadie sighed, "I was for sure that my mom was gonna take me back and that didn't happen,"
"Okay, but Sadie, your mom and Mr and Mrs Elliott are different. They love you,"
"I thought my mom did too,"
"Your mom is a piece of shit, Sadie. Excuse my language but she is," Emily said in her signature 'matter of fact' tone.
"I thought she loved me."
"You can think all you want. And I know that's harsh but Mr and Mrs Elliott actually do love you and they've shown that,"
"I know," she nodded, "but you don't get it. After what my mom did...you don't just get over that fear,"
"I get that, but you also have to realize how much these 2 actually love you,"
"Thanks, Em," she nodded, snapping back into reality as they stayed quiet for the rest of their walk.
——————
"Hey kiddo," Chase said as the back door opened and closed before Sadie entered the kitchen.
"Hey," she smiled a little and quickly ran out of the kitchen. When she wasn't with Emily, the thoughts only continued to cloud her mind.
"What is going on with her?" Kaycee asked as she got up to go find Sadie.
Since her ACL had healed, they had moved her bed back up to her bedroom, and now had the ability to escape again.
"I don't know but maybe we should go talk to her?" Chase suggested, shutting the laptop on the table.
"I don't know. Maybe she just needs to work it out in her head?"
"Kayc, I think we need to have a conversation with her," Chase said as he got up from the table.
"I know but I want to give her space if she needs it,"
"I think she needs the reassurance more,"
Kaycee nodded and followed him up the steps, and went to check on Adeline (who was napping) before joining Chase in Sadie's room.
"What is going on?" Chase asked calmly as he sat down on Sadie's bed while she was sitting at her desk looking at a magazine.
"Huh?" Sadie asked as she refused to look at either one of them.
"Sadie look at me,"
"Why?" She asked, not wanting to defy him but she was a little nervous.
"Just look at me kiddo," he said as he waited for her eyes to finally meet his. "What is going on?"
"What do you mean?"
"Skipping out of here, not talking to us,"
"I'm scared," she said quietly, surprising both Kaycee and Chase.
"Scared of what?" Kaycee pressed, now needing to know what she was scared of.
"I don't know,"
"You do Sadie. You just have to tell us," Chase also pressed, hating that the tears were building in Sadie's eyes.
"I'm just scared okay!" She snapped, wiping her eyes as she got out of her chair.
"Sadie. Hold on. Deep breath," Kaycee coached her, holding onto her shoulders so she couldn't go anywhere. "I know there's more to this,"
"I'm scared that you guys don't want me," she whispered, trying to keep the tears from flowing.
"Honey," Kaycee sighed, pulling her into a tight hug as the girl just let loose and started sobbing. "Baby we want you so bad and we wanted you from the day that you came into our lives. There's nothing in the world that could keep us from adopting you,"
"You're not just saying that?" She asked, sniffling as she slightly shook.
"No Sadie. We're not. We love you," Chase reassured her, also hugging the girl tightly. "We would never lie to you about this,"
"Okay," she sniffled, holding onto the hug that the 3 of them were still tucked into.
The reassurance helped but until the adoption was finalized, Sadie would be on edge. She knew she was loved, but she needed more proof to really understand what being loved by a mom and dad meant.
