Doubts - Regretful ex-Fiancé

Chapter 3 | ✓

I was sitting in my car, eyes shut and gripping the steering wheel tightly. I felt an overwhelming desire to escape... to reach out for help. I was struggling to control my breathing and recall the techniques that had helped me before. All I wanted was to find some peace.

Why can't I just live in tranquility? There was no one around to assist me; it was just me and my gun. I know how to defend myself. While I'm not a black belt, I have enough skills to inflict harm. I never wanted to resort to that. The fear of being alone in this situation was consuming me... But who would come to my rescue? I seriously doubted the police would respond in this rundown place I was about to enter.

Forget the tough female characters in films who fearlessly take on challenges. In reality, fear can feel like a constant presence, enveloping you completely. I recall that sensation vividly. There were numerous occasions when I concealed myself from men, overwhelmed by fear, and only stood up for myself when it was absolutely necessary. I want to avoid feeling this way. I am terrified. I am truly terrified. I attempted to reach Jonathan three times before arriving here, feeling desperate enough to swallow my pride and seek his assistance. He didn't pick up or return my calls, and my third attempt didn't even connect.

I realize he wants nothing to do with me and despises me completely.

I was devastated after this; the only man I ever loved and who ever stood up for me is now just a memory. I feel completely alone in this fight. I know I might get hurt; I'm 1.63 m tall and weigh around 75 kg. I'm not small, so I can handle some hits, but not too many. Taking slow breaths, I try to steady myself. I'm heading inside now. Lily used to live in this rundown apartment building, and I need to go in to find out anything about her. Maybe she'll be home? For this, I've dressed in all black. I have my gun tucked in the back of my jeans, a knife in my boot, and some pepper spray in my pocket.

I exit the car, carefully observing the streets as I begin to move quickly towards the buildings. I parked a little distance away to keep my car hidden. My heart is pounding, and I feel a surge of adrenaline coursing through me. As I get closer, I notice a variety of unusual individuals loitering nearby. I attempt to walk with assurance, as if I belong here, and put on my "tough" expression to deter any unwanted attention.

Regrettably, the men in this area seem indifferent to the situation, and one of them, appearing quite drunk and disheveled, approaches me with a hostile expression.

"Hey there, new girl. What's your price?" he asks, attempting to grab my arm. He's taller and intimidating. I quickly sidestep him and take a defensive stance, pointing a finger at him.

"Back off or I'll cut your balls off, jerk." Please excuse my tough attitude. "Don't even think about touching me. Leave me alone right now. I'm not interested." For emphasis, I spit on the ground. He looks taken aback by my response and stumbles toward me, swearing:

"Hey, you! No one talks to Willie like that. I know how to handle you..."

He attempts to grab me aggressively, but I leap away and land a punch directly in his stomach, followed by another to his chin. He screams like a coward and collapses face-first to the ground. I step over him, disregarding the laughter from those who watched the fight unfold and did nothing to assist me.

My hand was already throbbing; since being with Jonathan, I hadn't had to fight for my safety. Now, here I am, swearing and hitting scumbags. I let out a sigh while rubbing the arm I used to punch, checking to ensure I could still defend myself if needed. My hair is tied up in a knot to prevent anyone from grabbing it, and I'm wearing a hoodie to conceal my identity.

I cautiously approach the building, noticing the door is ajar. I enter and quickly make my way to the third floor, arriving at my sister's door. I knock for several minutes, but there's no response. When I try the handle, it turns easily, so I pull the gun from my back, chamber a round, and step inside slowly, scanning the room.