Doubts - Regretful ex-Fiancé

Chapter 17 | ✓

"...Isabella?..."

"Yes?"

"Is it really you? Are you okay?" Jonathan asked, sounding worried. Hearing him felt like a refreshing breeze. It had been over seven months since I last heard from him, and now it felt like nothing had changed. Just his voice could make my heart ache. "I'm fine," I answered softly. He seemed to expect something troubling from me, judging by how he said my name. He sounded concerned. I tried to stay polite, even though it was hard.

"Okay... thank goodness... all right..." he murmured. "Did you... really respond to me?" he asked, sounding almost in disbelief at his luck.

"Hm... yes. Don't you want to talk?"

"I do! Please don't hang up on me, okay...?" he said quickly. "It's just... God Isabella... I haven't heard your voice in months, babe... Please don't hang up," he added, sounding anxious. "Where are you? Can I see you now?"

He sounded restless, and I felt a twinge in my heart as I pictured his worried face, waiting for my reply. He seemed to be struggling in some way. It made me realize how tough it had been for him, even if he was partly to blame. "I just said you could call, Jonathan. What do you... I mean... how are you?" I asked, feeling a bit awkward. Talking to him felt so easy, yet there was a gap of months between us. We weren't a couple anymore, and I had no idea what he had been up to all this time. I still thought of him as mine, but I was in the dark about his life.

"Mostly? I find myself thinking about you, babe." The way he said it felt so sweet. "I want to say I'm okay, but that's not really true. I'm trying to be patient and hold onto hope. I know I need to work on myself. I'm waiting for you, forcing myself not to reach out. You have no idea how much this hurts, Isabella." His voice sounded so troubled. "I'm reflecting on my mistakes and figuring out how to change instead of rushing to your place to kiss you and plead my case. It's tough. I've had a lot of time to think, sweetheart, and it's been really hard. That day I said those things felt like a nightmare. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm truly sorry for everything. I'm not sure how to express this better, but I'm working on myself to avoid making the same mistakes. Am I rambling? I feel like I am, but I don't care. Also, I've started building a house. I bought some land, just like I said I would. I'm building it slowly, brick by brick."

That news surprised me. A house? He always talked about buying land and creating a home for us and our future kids. I didn't expect him to start now. I wondered how it was coming along. He was great at planning and designing. I imagined it must be lovely and cozy. Did he include a garden and a pool? Maybe a greenhouse for plants? Perhaps there's room for chickens? A swing for the kids? Oh my, my heart raced at the thought of his house. He was building it with his own hands, and that must be a wonderful sight.

"That sounds wonderful", I replied genuinely, feeling warmth because that was exactly what I sensed from him—honesty and sincerity. "Yes... not quite like your voice... but it's really coming out as I pictured. You know why I'm doing this, right?" he said with a bit more excitement.  "Where are you right now?" he asked suddenly.

"At home."

"Okay... Can I come over? Are you alright? What have you been up to? I miss you so much, babe..." He sounded less like the polished Jonathan and more like the passionate one. It felt like he was eager to see me. I could sense the strong emotions in his voice, but I responded calmly, holding back my own feelings.

"Well... I've been taking care of myself, going to therapy, and enjoying walks in the park. I've been focusing on being a better person. I've tried out several new recipes these past few months... I've been writing down important reminders to help me stay happy no matter what... and... well... I've been considering whether I should forgive you, to be honest." That last part came out a bit unsure, but Jonathan didn't seem to mind, as he quickly responded.