Doubts - Regretful ex-Fiancé

Chapter 10 | ✓

I was heading back to my apartment after another long day at work. My arm was nearly healed, but I still needed to do some exercises at home to help it recover fully. Since my arm had been immobilized for a while, it was tough to use it like I used to. I spent a lot of time on the computer, working with Excel and other programs, and after a full day of typing, it was hard to lift and move my arm normally. However, each day brought me closer to feeling completely better. I was eager to put the painful memories of my injury behind me.

My coworkers were quite curious about my accident and my bruised face. I understood their concern; I knew I didn't look my best, and a woman with visible injuries raised questions. It's natural for people to worry about my safety. I only shared my story with my boss, who was very understanding and supportive of what I had gone through. He allowed me two months to recover at home, and I still received my salary during that time.

I worked for a well-known multinational company, and the CEO was a man named Christopher Sanders. He wasn't my direct supervisor, and I never really spoke to him. I was in the accounting department and only attended one meeting with him when he took on his new role. There were many rumors about him and another employee, which felt like a soap opera to me. People loved discussing them. Honestly, they looked great together, and it seemed like Mr. Sanders was quite taken with her. However, I didn't enjoy hearing about others' lives, so I would leave any conversation when they started talking about them.

My boss was one of the directors who reported to Mr. Sanders. I shared a brief version of the events with him but didn't mention my broken engagement. It was common knowledge that I was engaged, and I was sure people noticed the absence of a ring on my finger. That's why I disliked gossip; it can be very hurtful for the person being talked about, knowing their life is under scrutiny. So many assumptions and falsehoods are made daily about others. It's cruel to be the focus of such attention.

The end of my relationship was still fresh and deeply painful for me. Sometimes, I couldn't bear to think about it. I lost my only true friend, the one man I believed would never hurt me. He was the only one I felt completely comfortable with, without fear of judgment. I wished so much that things could have been different between us.

I couldn't count how many times I wished my life was different. I remember when all I wanted was a warm meal every day. It felt like a distant dream since I wasn't used to it. A full plate with vegetables and meat seemed so appealing. Then, my wishes grew harder to fulfill. I longed to be free from fear. I wished I didn't have to hide or carry a knife. I wished I didn't have to hear my mother with her many boyfriends in the next room. I wished I had never seen my sister get into a stranger's car again. I wished I hadn't been born into this family. I wished... I wished... I wished for so many things.

Eventually, I became greedy and wanted even more. I wished I could trust the words of a charming man who owned a restaurant. I wanted to say yes to him without worrying about our different backgrounds. Deep down, I knew he would leave me one day. He would see the darkness I tried to hide and walk away without a second thought. Who would want to date the daughter of a drug addict? The sister of a criminal? No man would want that kind of trouble. It was too much to hope for. 

I still don't get why Jonathan kept following me for the past seven months. What was he thinking when he moved into the apartment next to mine? Why did he keep trying to win me back and ask for my forgiveness? Shouldn't he take this chance to move on and find someone better? I thought he would have given up by now.

He made sure to show me he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. It could have felt overwhelming, but he didn't come by every day. Instead, he had a well-planned schedule. Once a week, he would knock on my door for a few minutes. If I didn't answer, he would leave a little note for me."I love you, darling. I'm here whenever you want to talk." "I'm really sorry for doubting you. I was wrong.""Please forgive me. I just need one more chance." "Don't give up on me. Just one more chance, please." "Let's talk. Please don't turn me away."