Doubts - Regretful ex-Fiancé

Chapter 19 | ✓

"What's up this truck?" I asked Jonathan, smiling. He stood beside a new-looking truck that had a rustic vibe, filled with gardening tools in the back, which piqued my curiosity. Jonathan wore jeans, a cowboy jacket, and dark sunglasses. I can't find the perfect word to describe how he looked leaning against that truck, but let's say he was striking.

His sideways smile was more alluring and mysterious than ever. Not being able to see his eyes added a raw intensity to the moment. I felt my palms getting sweaty as silence wrapped around us.

The day before had tested my strength. I was more aware of the ring on my finger than ever. When Jonathan placed it on my finger and kissed the small stone for what felt like ages, something shifted inside me. The ring seemed to call out to me, and I found myself getting frustrated for staring at it so much. Even when Jonathan drove me home after our amazing dinner, I still held the small white flower in my lap.

Jonathan held my hand during the drive back, and we stayed that way in a tense silence for most of the trip. Something had shifted, and I could feel it. After I said yes, Jonathan seemed to relax a lot. I had agreed to many things that day. The tight lines around his mouth had eased. The way he used to glance at my hand with a look of distress was gone. Now, he was quiet, his fingers woven with mine. He seemed lost in thought... maybe planning something or wondering how long I would make him wait before marriage.

Was he thinking about trying to touch me more boldly? That thought was starting to trouble me too. This wasn't our first date... I had already been intimate with him, after all. But that was over a year ago. So much has changed since then. I bit my lip, considering all the things I would say if he even hinted that we should...?

I took a quick look at him. His light blond hair was blowing in the wind from the open window. He was focused on the road ahead. When he felt my gaze, he turned to me, but his expression stayed serious. "You're worried," he said, looking back at the road. Me? Not at all... Where did he get that idea?

"Why do you think that?" I asked, biting my lip. "I'm completely fine," I replied confidently.

"I know you, angel," he said firmly. "I can tell when you're nervous. Excited. Horny." He said the last word so casually as if it were just a normal topic, as it was not daring or anything. I quickly pulled my hand away from his and placed it over my racing heart, surprised by his cocky attitude. I looked at him again, and he still wasn't smiling. His other hand rested lightly on my thigh, and I instinctively closed my legs, feeling a blush rise at his possessive touch.

"You are being... so insolent!" I said, feeling a bit flustered by his calm demeanor. "I'm not trying to be disrespectful. I just know, my dear. I can smell when you are..." He left the thought hanging in the air. "And I can tell when you're anxious. Your eyebrows knit together, and your fingers fidget, just like they are now." I immediately stopped fidgeting and took a deep breath, smoothing my brows. Okay... maybe he was onto something... but about the... aroused... part?!

"What scent are you referring to?" I asked, unable to hold back, and he gave a sly smile, glancing at my lower body without answering, then focused back on the road. I turned my gaze forward too, not pressing the issue. Right. I get it...

"You don't have to feel anxious, my love. Don't misunderstand me... I would take you to bed right now if that's what you wanted," he said, looking at me for a moment, but I just stared back, skeptical. "But I know how to wait. I can be patient. You don't need to feel worried or anxious around me. There's nothing to be nervous about, okay?"

Sure. As if the words excited and aroused wouldn't make me feel excited and aroused. I crossed my arms, and took a deep breath, trying to keep my composure. It's fine, Isabella. Just fine...