Vance hopper imagines

Bitter-sweet

"Why does she have to be so gorgeous" I mutter under my breathe while I watch her flash that beautiful smile off to everyone. Jennifer Yoselene Niazi probably the most rare human being on earth. I've never seen someone check every single box she looks perfect head to toe, always smells good,never gets embarrassed, never angry, her parents and family is basically perfect, super organized, amazing grades, super social, goes out every weekend. She's the type of girl you see in every magazine that shows the perfect American teenage girl dream. And as many boys that's tried to go after her she's had no history of giving them a chance.

Out of every way she outshines me and makes me feel like a gigantic roach. She stole my seat, I mean the teacher sat her there so she could help him 'thrive in the school environment' but it just feels like another loss. Maybe it's just in my head when I had to get up infront of the class to switch my seat that I felt people compare us, But it's probably me comparing myself. I mean sure I quote on quote hate Vance and scowl at him everytime I'm seated but I don't like switching seats. I've adapted to him taking my pencils everyday, stealing my answers, making fun of whatever I do, and making me feel small with his stare. I've sat next to him in this same subject every year all the way through and it's simple for a- though I hate to say it bond like that to break.

I have friends... I mean not the type that I can go sit next to and hold a conversation with but the ones that talk to me when they're usual friends aren't there and wave at me in the hallways so it seems like they know more people. I was known as sweet to anyone In this town, though some believed I was stuck up because of my family's candy business, they thought that's why I didn't talk but the truth was I was just nervous of every single thing they thought. It felt better to avoid people as a whole. Still when people ask for some of my snacks I sometimes bring, or for materials in class i always do it. My nervousness makes assigned seats even better, you're forced to like eachother and eventually grow something between you two. So when half way into class we have to discuss something and I see her bubbly attitude rubbing off on my ex seat mate I can't help but feel something burn within me. And it burned more when her ex seat mate side eyes me and stays quiet missing her friend. The burning sensation lasted for a whole week. I thought I could cover the fire and continue on but the reacher just had to add in an extra log. We were chosen to do a serious project together.

That class greatfully we didn't have to talk just sit next to each other and listen to Instructions. I always wanted to be her friend but at the same time I didn't like how she made me feel. That green feeling had an impact on me trying. I sat at the end of the lunch table still somehow secluded as many people talk and I read my book. I sneak glances of her talking to her many friends and somehow with the heap of people all lapping over eachother she's the center of attention people ending their conversations instantly when she starts talking to them. I go back into my book reading the story trying to ignore the laughs that make me self conscious when I hear someone call my name. "Do you want this lemon lime jello? My mom forgot I don't like this flavor" I see her call out from a few seats down. "Yeah sure" I accept with a smile on my face to return her sincere one "cool!" She then slides over the jello and goes back to talking with her friends. The jello is a taunting reminder of what I am.

Back in this now stupid social studies class taking a pop quiz and they're back sitting next to eachother. After being done with my quiz relatively fast because I'm pretty sure my teacher is giving up on all tests and that was the easiest thing ever. I look up to see Vance copying the answers and my light hold on the paper crumbles it making my new seat mate to side eye me again. im tired of this stupid seating arrangement! My eyes wander back up to where they are and Vance is looking back at me, I instantly turn around embarrassed of him thinking i miss my seat. I cant help but silently curse the otherwise nice teacher that she cared so much about Vance's education that she moved me... even if it was necessary