Violet Eyes

Chapter 32

"You're not going into the bathroom with me," I deadpanned to Katsuki as he refused to let me close the door. It was about an hour after my shower (Hitoshi said there were no serious bald spots, I had managed to pull out a few strands from all over my head), and the crawling sensation on my arms was getting almost unbearable. I was going to scratch them to ribbons soon if I didn't get another hit. 

Unfortunately, no one wanted to trust me behind a closed door anymore. Much later, I would thank them for the concern, but at the time it just made me resent all three of them. The only thing I could think about was getting another fix, my boyfriends and their worries weren't even on my radar. 

"I'm not letting you out of my sight," Katsuki said, leaning against the doorframe to prevent me from shutting him out. 

I couldn't bother to glare at him, my dead expression back and not leaving until I got my hands on my abandoned jeans. "You're not helping." 

"I'm not trying to help," he stated, not backing down. He looked almost as blank as I did, guess he was over his fear already. Whatever. "I'm trying to prevent you from hurting yourself. Helping is eye bags and Ei's department." 

"At this rate, I'll end up hating you," I said back, my right hand moving to scratch at my left wrist without my knowledge. 

He seemed to think over my words for a moment but settled on a shrug. "At least you'll be okay." 

I finally noticed my scratching, immediately crossing my arms instead. My hands were caged between my biceps and my ribcage, unable to itch at anything. I was starting to get desperate. "Just give me two minutes, set a timer on your phone or something," I suggested, barely able to restrain myself from attacking my neck with my nails. The prickling sensation was traveling all over my body and making it hard to concentrate on the conversation. "I can't do anything in two minutes other than piss." 

"No." 

Eijirou, who I hadn't even realized had followed us out into the hall, grabbed his wrist. "Kats, just give him two minutes. You know he hates hovering." 

I decided I hated him the least out of all three of my boyfriends. 

"Fine," the blond said suddenly, pulling his wrist from Eijirou's grasp. "You deal with it then." He pushed himself off the doorframe and stomped back to my room. I watched his back as he disappeared, completely unfazed by the outburst. 

Eijirou sighed, turning back to me. "Two minutes, Iz." 

I didn't reply, just shut the door. As soon as it closed, I dropped to my knees, scrambling for my discarded jeans. I was so frantic in my movements, that it took a solid thirty seconds to locate my baggie of coke, which meant I was running out of time. 

I took a breath, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart as I opened the bag and repeated what I had done an hour before. The buzz hit and suddenly I didn't feel like I was dying anymore, my thoughts organizing themselves. 

Once my hands were clear of evidence and the bag was securely in the pocket of my sweatpants, I flushed the toilet. I wasn't a complete idiot every time I got high, I knew I still had to pretend I had gone to the bathroom. I opened the door just as Eijirou's timer went off. 

"Punctual," the redhead teased with a small smile. 

My energy was back, cranked all the way to max. It took everything in me to not bounce on my toes in front of him. "Mhm," I hummed, because that was something I'd do sober, right? For sure. 

"You hungry?" he asked hopefully as we headed back to my room. 

"Nope," I replied, making a beeline for my bed. I kneeled at the edge, letting my upper body hang off the mattress as I searched under it. Where is it? I know it's down here, I put it here. Where, where, where? Oh, found it!