Violet Eyes

Chapter 53

I had just thrown my hoodie on after my shower when there was a knock on the bathroom door. I didn't bother calling out, just swung it open and let Uraraka barge right in. 

"Do I kick him out of my house? Do I make him hitchhike back home? What're we feeling, Izu?" she asked with a contemplative hum, pushing herself to sit on the bathroom counter. 

I blinked at her, my hands getting shoved into my pocket. "Um, what?" 

"Shinsou," she said in a duh tone, unbelieving that I needed the explanation. "What do you want me to do?" 

I raised a brow, leaning back against the wall. We were going to be there a while, I could sense it. "Nothing?" 

"That's not right, you want me to do something. He slept with Monoma." Her voice was laced with disgust and the name was spat as if it left a foul taste behind. 

"We were broken up, Ura. He didn't do anything wrong." 

She tilted her head, eyeing me up and down. She looked as if she was trying to figure out if I had been replaced by some twisted double. "He slept with Monoma, it doesn't matter when." 

I released a heavy sigh, so not in the mood for the conversation at hand. "You know firsthand how messed up he was after I left. I can't blame him for wanting to hurt me." 

"Yes, you can," she exclaimed, still confused by my lack of reaction. "Even if you guys had never dated, it would still be unforgivable." 

"Uraraka, it's fine. Seriously-" 

"No, it's not," she said cutting me off and sending me a pointed glare. I knew what she was trying to do, to get me to stand up for myself or some shit. I didn't think there was anything to stand up for. "Monoma is the scum of the earth. He was absolutely awful to you and Shinsou knew that, we all know that. Don't act like it wouldn't have hurt less if it was Todo or I who had slept with him. It doesn't matter if you guys were together or not, he was still supposed to be your friend." 

"I don't want to fight with him," I said in a quiet voice, no fire or resistance in my voice, just utter defeat. "I don't want this to be a big deal or have it ruin our relationship. I'd rather just try to forget it ever happened." 

She pushed herself off the counter, taking two steps until she stood directly in front of me. "I know you. I know you won't be able to ignore it and it'll put a strain on your relationship until one of you can't deal with it anymore. You're not going to get past it by ignoring it." 

"But kicking him out will help?" I asked, tempted to shove her aside and leave the room altogether. 

She frowned, her eyebrows knitting together. "Probably not, but it'll make you feel better, at least for a while. You need to talk to him, which I know isn't your strong suit, but it's what needs to happen." 

"I know that," I sighed, leaning my head back against the wall and redirecting my eyes to the ceiling. "It's just going to be a shitty conversation that'll probably make me feel even worse than I already do. I don't need him to remind me how badly I hurt him when I left or how he only did it to try to get even. I really don't want to hear any details, either." 

"It's gotta get worse before it gets better." 

"Why does it only ever seem to get worse?" I asked aloud, not necessarily to Uraraka. I was just speaking my thoughts into existence. 

How much bullshit did I have to go through before it finally got better? I was bullied relentlessly my whole life, developed a drug addiction, nearly went to prison, moved across the country, got hunted down by a psycho school bomber, nearly broke up with my boyfriends more times than I could count, had my deadbeat dad show up to tell me to kill myself, relapsed, and finally pulled myself together just to find out about this. When was it supposed to end? I wasn't exactly seeing any light at the end of this tunnel. 

"Because we're in high school and you have shitty luck," she said, moving to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with me against the wall. "Nothing gets better until college, remember?" 

"If I even go to college." 

"Oh, you're going to college," she said with a laugh. "Like hell am I doing that shit without you, no sir." 

I spared a look at her, appreciating the way she was trying to lighten the mood. "I get to pick the college then." 

"I reserve veto powers," she said back without missing a beat. 

I nodded, allowing her the ability. "It's gotta be something with a high acceptance rate. We've both got terrible records." 

"State school?" she suggested. 

I hummed. "Probably." 

She snorted a laugh. "Everyone with a high school diploma gets into those." 

"Do you even know what you'd go for?" I asked, suddenly aware that we hadn't ever talked about our futures. Before we moved, we hadn't seen one for ourselves. I was convinced I'd end up dead before I graduated and even if I made it out, I'd never make anything of myself. I hadn't thought past graduation. 

"You promise not to laugh?" 

"Me? I'd never laugh at you," I teased, trying to keep the atmosphere light. We'd just gotten past all the depressing shit, I didn't want us to backtrack. 

She took a deep breath, steeling her nerves. "I want... to be a teacher." 

I blinked, unsure if I had heard her correctly. "A teacher? Why would I laugh at that?" 

"We've never taken a teacher seriously before in our lives," she admitted, looking down at her feet. "I was worried you'd think it was stupid or something." 

"That's such a lie!" I exclaimed. "We didn't take the teachers here seriously, and for good reason." 

"So," she trailed off, still unsure of herself. "You don't think it's stupid?" 

I shook my head, uncaring if she saw or not. "No, Ochako. I don't think it's stupid. I think you'd make a really good teacher. I bet you could help a lot of kids before they end up like us." 

I heard her soft laugh beside me. "That's kind of the plan. I wanna be the kind of teacher we needed, one who helps their students with more than just homework. Do you know how differently we would have ended up if Helix or Mr. Aizawa had been around last year? We wouldn't have skipped as much, that's for sure." 

A warm smile slipped onto my face, incredibly happy for my friend and her plans for the future. "I'm glad you found your calling," I teased. 

"What about you?" she asked, turning her head to gaze at me. "What'd you wanna do after high school?" 

I pursed my lips, uncertain of how to answer. "I... don't really know. Haven't thought about it much." 

She nodded absently. "You have a few months left to figure it out. I can help if you want." 

"Yeah, that'd be great," I agreed, my smile reforming, but this time for myself. No matter what happened, I did have a future. It was time I started to realize that. 

"Well, I'm glad we had this little heart-to-heart," she said, taking a step away from the wall. "But I don't want to deal with the awkward car ride back tomorrow, so try to talk to Shinsou before then." 

And she's back. 

I rolled my eyes at her, following her lead from the bathroom. "Got it."