Waiting For Things To Get Better - Angeldust Angst

Goodnight And Goodluck! (Chapter 12)

Tw: blood, suicide, attempted suicide, panic attacks, abuse, mentions of self harm, suicide letters, and anything else of those sorts. If you cannot handle any of the following subjects, I suggest not reading this chapter.

Angel pushed open the door to the hotel, all of his injuries visible again. Cherri snapped her head to him, standing up. Angel pushed her away, shaking his head. "I don't wanna do anything right now. I just want to be alone."

Husker tilted his head, furrowing his brows. "Angel-" "don't. I'm going to my room." He spat, walking away.

Husker pinned his ears back, watching him. Cherri glanced at Husker. "That was weird." Husker nodded. "Yeah."

Angel kicked open his door, throwing his phone at the wall. He heard it buzz, but he ignored it. He knew what was happening.

He grabbed a pen and some paper, writing Husker's name on one. He began writing, holding his breath. Did he really want to do this? Hurt himself? Hurt husker?

Angel shook the thoughts out of his head, continuing to jot down his note.

' Husker ~ ♡

I want to start this off by stating a few things. None of what happens to me is your fault. You shouldn't have to deal with the aftermath either. I'm so so so sorry if I ever hurt you because of my stupidity.

You were so kind to me, you called me pretty when I was a mess. You cared so much about me, and I'm sorry for constantly pushing you away. I'm scared to love, I'm scared of hurting someone, or getting hurt again.

I told myself I wouldn't get attached, but I did. I love you, but I don't think I can for any longer. I have an escape, I have my own way out. Drugs don't do anything anymore. Self harm stopped hurting enough, and Valentino hurts too much.

I'd rather be in a state of purgatory instead of hell. I was told today that I was a good person. I know it's true, I know it. I just don't want to believe it. If I'm so good, why am I down here?

You tried your best to keep me here as long as possible. It is nowhere near your fault I'm ending my afterlife tonight.

Tell the others to keep going. I know the only one besides you and cherri is Charlie. The others wouldn't care. I wasn't important anyways.

Take care of yourself, please. And take care of my baby. I don't want to leave him, but I have to.

Thank you for making me happy, even if it was only for a little while.

Love, Anthony ~ ♡'

Angel folded it up, setting it aside. He went under his bed to find a hidden angelic knife, coming back out to finish the next letter.

He sat down on his bed, writing something similar for Cherri. He put lipstick on, kissing both letters.

He stared at his wrist, tracing a heart with the sharp knife. He watched the blood bead on the surface, sighing softly. He stood up, slumping down against the wall by the bathroom door. He kept the knife hovered over his chest, his hands shaking.

His anxiety rose as his phone kept ringing, but he continued to ignore it. Nuggets came over to him, nudging his arm. He squeaked, looking up at Angel. Angel smiled sadly, picking him up. He kissed the pigs forehead, before setting him back down.

Angel picked up the knife again, standing up. He held it to his chest, his hand trembling. Nuggs headbutt his leg, almost as if he was trying to stop him.

"No, Fat Nuggets. I have to do this. I'm gonna miss you." He whispered, gently nudging the pig away. Nuggets just stared up at him, watching.

Angel let out a sigh, his eyes glossy. The door was pushed up, and Angel immediately brought the knife closer to his chest, glaring at the door.