Waiting For Things To Get Better - Angeldust Angst

I Miss You. ( Chapter 17 )

Trigger warning: this chapter contains implied abuse, implied sexual assault, and fear of rejection.

Angel stumbled into the hotel, slumping down against the door. His already revealing outfit was torn, and deep claw marks were embedded in his skin.

Husker slid over the counter, sitting down next to him. “Hey. You okay?” He asked, offering his hand. Angel gave him a look, leaning his head back.

“Do ya wanna talk about it?” “The hell am I supposed to tell ya, Husker? It's the same exact shit. Every. Fucking. Day. I go to work, I do fine For the first 15 or 20 minutes, I slip up a word, or I fumble with my hands, I get beat, I go back on set, have sex with however many people I'm forced to, go to my dressing room, get beat, get raped, get beat again, come home. Repeat.”

Husker pulled his hand away, sighing. “I know that. I just want you to feel like you don't have to be silent.” “Look. I try. I try to fucking talk about it, and every fucking time I have a panic attack. I don't want to have another one. I'm fucking exhausted.”

Husker nodded, his tail swaying. “Well, I'm here if you need anything.” He said softly. Angel stood, clenching his fists. “I'm going to bed. I suggest you do the same. Alone.”

Husker stared up at Angel, pinning his ears back when he walked away. Angel hugged himself, starting up the stairs. Lucifer walked over to him. “Hey, you okay bud?”

“I'm fine, Luce.” “Let's go get ya cleaned up, okay?” Lucifer said softly, hovering his hand over Angel's back.

Cherri glanced over at the stairs, sitting next to Husker. “What's up?” She asked, glancing at him. Husker shook his head. “Nothin.”

“You look upset.” “I'm not.” “what's goin on, old man?” “It's nothin, kid.” Husker sighed, leaning his head back.

“Did something happen with Angie?” Husker shrugged, closing his eyes. “It's okay to talk about stuff. You don't have to sit in sorrow cuz you're helping him.”

Husker glanced at her. “You look tired.” She said, leaning her head against the door. “I want to help you. Let me help, please?”

Husker rested his head in his hands, “don't guilt trip me.” “I ain't tryin’ to!” Cherri frowned. “I want you to let out all this shit you're pentin’ up. You know how Angie would react to this-” “well he's not in here right now, is he?”

“What did he say that could have possibly offended you this much?” “He didn't say anything.” “then why are you upset?”

Husker pinned his ears down again, curling into himself. Cherri furrowed her brows. “You don't get like this often. Just- please. Talk to me. I want to help you. I know him better than he knows himself.” “I know what he's doing, and I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do about it.”

Cherri tilted her head, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I can't read minds, mister.” “The fuck-? Mister? The hell are you on tonight?”

Cherri rolled her eyes. “Sober as fuck. Now speak.” Husker groaned, slumping further on the floor.

“He's pushing everyone away again. Straight to bed. Like last time. I don't want him to die. I don't want to see him even try again.” Husker mumbled.

Cherri thought for a moment, trying to put two in two together. “Oh. Oh- oh.. yeah. Right. Well, Lucifer's got him. He won't do anything.”

“That's not what im worried about. I know he won't do anything, not yet. I know it's coming soon and I- I can just- I can feel it like it's some sort of impendin’ doom. I've helped him as much as I could, and he's been pushin’ me away. That's what I'm worried bout. I'm worried that I won't be able to help him anymore, and-”