Midnight Thoughts ~ Shadow & Bone

10

Kaz had wanted me at his side. I refused. I may have been willing to stand by him in spirit, at least for the moment, but I wouldn't indulge his fantasies of pretending that his methods didn't irk me. Instead, I remained at the back of the mausoleum with Inej and Nina until Wylan and Jesper approached the bastard.

"Pekka made a move on more than just the Crow Club while we were away," Kaz muttered, eyes scanning over the file he had snatched from the office. "He bought out all of Fifth Harbor." Jesper scoffed and shook his head as I silently entered the room.

"Inej and Karlin took some serious damage," the boy reminded his friend. "The novice nearly lost his head, and the Heartrender took a bullet, but no worries. At least you're on top of Pekka's corporate holdings." Kaz glanced up at me, then returned his gaze to the paper.

"You don't take down a lion by cutting off his tail."

"I'm sorry, you've been on safari when? We're putting our lives on the line." Kaz looked up at him quickly.

"I thought you preferred it that way." I narrowed my eyes up at him, and Wylan stammered, looking between the three of us for a moment before Nina emerged from the back.

"Is Inej gonna be okay?" Wylan asked quickly, trying his best to dispel the tension. She glanced around and sighed.

"I wouldn't call myself the most proficient Healer," she admitted, "but she'll not be a permanent resident here." Jesper, whose eyes were still trained on Kaz, clenched his jaw.

"Not yet anyway." Wylan shrugged his shoulders, eyes falling to the ground.

"Technically, no one gets buried here anymore," he told them. "When the firepox plague hit years ago, so many people died that the crematoriums all got backed up, so they had to float all the dead bodies in the harbor." Slowly and against my will, my eyes moved to Kaz, who had frozen as Wylan spoke. After a moment, he shook his head.

"That's enough!" he snapped. My eyes fell closed, and I sighed as he held the file out to Jesper, who took it and read it quickly. The boy scoffed.

"'Appelbroek'?" he read. Kaz nodded.

"Pekka has a glass factory there, but there are no sandpits in Appelbroek. So cartage fees would kill all of his profits." He stepped back. "Find out what he's really up to." His eyes found Wylan. "If you want to help, instead of spurting useless historical facts, go with Jesper." I gritted my teeth at the way he spoke to Wylan. I could handle Kaz being harsh with me, and though it pained me to say it, I could even handle him being harsh to Inej and Jesper to a certain degree. They had signed up to work with Kaz, though that had not included the war he was ravaging on Ketterdam. Wylan, however, wanted no part of this in the first place. It was Kaz who had dragged him into this not once, but twice, and I'd be damned if I was going to let him take that out on the boy.

As Nina confronted Kaz about Inej's wellbeing, I followed Wylan and Jesper out of the mausoleum. I stopped Wylan with a light hand on his shoulder before they could get too far.

"Hey," I muttered. He looked back at me, making Jesper stop as well. "Don't pay attention to him. He's pissed not everyone backs him up regardless of circumstance and he's taking it out on everyone around." Jesper furrowed his brows, contemplating for a moment before he spoke.

"What do you know?" he questioned. I looked up at him and arched a brow. "If I know Kaz, which I'm starting to think I don't know him as well as I thought I did, he'd be happy if even one person backed him up as long as that person was you. Which means you know what's going on, or you at least know more than we do." I sighed and nodded.

"I do," I admitted. "I know why he wants this so bad, though I don't know exactly what he's planning. I also know that it is... extremely personal. I wish I could tell you more, Jesper, but I can't. We all have our secrets, and he kept mine when I needed him to. His secrets are mine, and mine are his, and neither of us will tell them until the other is ready." He nodded slowly.

"But you don't back him up on this?" I didn't have to hesitate before I shook my head.

"Not really. His methods are out of line, even I can see that. I may not stoop so low as to tell you his motives myself, but I do believe that you all need to know what this fight is really about if he wants any real help. I promise you, I am trying to get him to tell you." I smiled sadly and shrugged my shoulders. "But you know how Kaz is." He sighed and nodded.

"I know how Kaz is," he repeated. I nodded and moved my attention to Wylan, lowering my voice.

"Wylan," I said firmly, "you don't have to stay here." He furrowed his brows, and I shook my head. "Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore having you here. But I know you never wanted to be a part of this. It's not your fault Kaz dragged you into his war." He seemed to think about my words for a moment before meeting my eyes again. He furrowed his brows for a moment before pulling me into a hug. I was surprised by the sudden affection, but I welcomed it nonetheless. I felt him shake his head.

"I'm not going anywhere," he muttered. "I had no idea you were in so much trouble. You protected me, let me return the favour." My heart warmed a bit, and he pulled away with a gentle smile that only Wylan could pull off. He nodded once. I did the same. And then he and Jesper disappeared into the mist that was Blackveil.

As I turned back into the mausoleum, Nina emerged herself. No words were exchanged, but I could tell by the look on her face that Kaz's mood had not improved. I sighed and took a deep breath before stepping inside. Kaz was nowhere to be seen but soon exited from the back and met my eye. He was the first to look away.

"Inej is gone," he muttered. I nodded.

"I don't blame her." He looked up at me again, and this time it was I who averted my gaze first. I stepped around him into the back, where I had laid out my knives when we arrived in a weakened state. Kaz was silent as I began carefully replacing them to their original positions on my body.

"I need to see Per Haskell again," he said quietly after a moment. "I'm going to take the Slat, make sure we're defended. And get your Rats out of the attic. Get them safe." I glanced up at him only briefly and nodded. "Will you come with me?" I sighed through my nose and shook my head.

"I need to find Levi," I told him. "No one's seen him, Inej doesn't even know where he is. Most everyone that might be able to find him now works for Pekka, and Pekka likely wants him dead. The only person that might be able to help me is Teal. I have to hope that he knows something and I can find Levi before anyone else does." Kaz furrowed his brows as I sheathed my last knife and stood.

"Teal is at the Slat with the Rats, is he not?" I nodded, crossing my arms.

"Yes, he is. But if Per Haskell sees me with you before I disappear to find them, what do you think is going to click in his head? Everyone knows the Rats are mine, I won't endanger them because you need an emotional support person. They're in enough trouble there as it is." I let my eyes close and sighed, shaking my head. "Kaz, I would come with you if I could. As backup in the rafters if nothing else. But I have to think about my kids first." He nodded slowly, and I paused before stepping up to him.

He met my eye, and I held up a hand, my palm facing him. He glanced down at it for a moment before undoing the fastener of his glove. His eyes never leaving mine, he slid it off and held his hand up the same. As I felt the skin of his palm brush against mine, I smiled.

"I'll see you soon."

I was the first to lower my hand.