The Rain Is Falling (CaptainSwan)

Chapter 13: It's A Thin Line

Emma's POV
I slumped up to my area upstairs and fell back in my bed. It had been a long walk home filled with fake smiles and ignorance of whispers that I knew were about me and my little episode in Granny's. Ugh what I would give to of never involved myself with Hook. My life was finally starting to get normal and then I mess it up by letting my walls down and what for? To be abandoned by yet another person. Figures. I can't believe I ever thought Hook would do anything else. After all he is a pirate but even so I can't help but miss him, his touch, the way he'd play with my hair in the morning before I would fully wake up. Dear gosh I want him so much. I hate him but I want him. It's strange how I can want to punch him one second and then the next I want him to hold me in his arms and never let go. It's almost like my 'hatred' towards him only makes me more attracted to him like every annoying comment he makes he is just daring me to pull his lips to mine and attack him with my love. Love. I'd never used that word while talking about Hook before. Do I love Hook? No. I can't love Hook I only met him like a month ago and he's... he's just so... Ugh. "I need some air." I whispered to myself and got out of bed. I climbed out of the window and onto the fire escape, desperately sucking in the outside air as if my life depended on it. I had begun to walk over to edge when I heard something crunch beneath my feet. I looked down and saw the now totally demolished rose that Hook gave me a few nights ago when he had snuck up into my room like some high schooler trying to see his girlfriend. I let out a small laugh at that thought, that whole night was just one big cliché but, oh gosh, I loved every second of it. I picked up what remained of the once beautiful gift Hook had brought me and held it up so that it was in the light of the moon. A single tear rolled down my cheek. maybe I do love Hook.
***
Hook's POV
I walked into my quarters and was immediately tripped by something on my floor. "Bloody H:):):)!!" I screamed as I fell to the floor. What did I just trip on- my question was immediately answered when I laid eyes on Emma's bright red jacket. Even in the dark of the night that thing stands out like a fresh white sail on an old ship. I feel a knot in my stomach. I know what it's from, I miss her. NO, hate. I hate her. That's right. I can't believe that slipped my mind. I pushed my thoughts aside and grabbed the jacket with my hook. Time to get rid of you. I thought as I stared scathingly at the red piece of leather. Walking over to my desk, I began to dig through it in search of a match. I was going to watch as the last piece of Emma burn away from my life forever. "Aha!" I exclaimed, finally coming upon a match. With one swipe on my dresser the match lit up into a tiny flame. I could feel it's heat slowly making its way toward my thumb, better hurry. I thought. I slowly lifted the match towards Emma's jacket, smiling slyly as I watched the flame get closer and closer to the read fabric. Here we go, good bye Em- the flame was almost touching the fabric when suddenly I paused. I stared at the jacket and then at the flame that was about to destroy it. Just light it aflame and move on Killian. I prodded myself and began to move the match closer but once again I couldn't let it touch the fabric. It was like my heart was just screaming at me not to. "I can't do it." I whispered as if someone could hear me. With one flick of my wrist the tiny flame went out and the room was dark again with only the dull light of the moon to keep me from getting completely lost in my own home. Why couldn't I do it? I wondered to myself. Why couldn't I destroy her jacket? I shook my head in defeat not because I didn't know the answer but because I didn't like it. The truth was I couldn't let go of it because I didn't want to let completely go of Emma. I thought that I could just throw away my feelings for her and move on but it appears that's not going to be the case, it's going to be hell trying to move on, trying to have no feelings for her. It might even be impossible but if I have to wait another thousand life times I swear I will move on, I will, I must. My head was beginning to ache due to all the contradicting thoughts and all I wanted was to sleep. I crawled into my bed without even bothering to take off my boots and sunk into the pillows. I was about to drift off when I noticed that I was still clutching onto Emma's jacket, tightly. I loosened my grip on it but couldn't bring myself to let it completely go. Bloody h:):):) will I ever break free of Emma's spell?
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Writer's POV
Hook and Emma both dreamt of each other that night. As much as they tried to deny it they were both still crazy about each other and the thought of never being able to be together was eating away at both of their hearts. They both longed for the touch of the other, the kiss of the other, the everything of the other. Needles to say it was a restless night of sleep. How could they ever be fully happy without one of the most important things in life, love. Not the kind of love you get from your best friend or your mother but the kind of gentle, passionate, heart racing love that you get from a romantic relationship. Neither one wanted to admit it but they wanted that and they wanted it with each other. Emma turned over in her bed and opened her eyes. For a second she could've sworn that she saw the head of tousled black hair that she had grown so used to seeing in the mornings but with the blink of an eye it was gone and only an empty space laid there in its place. She sighed and rolled onto her back. Why do I miss him so much? She thought in frustration. The fact that her bed still smelt of him didn't help. Luckily she was only able to sneak him in once or his amazing, musky scent would be so strong that she'd break into tears. The smell was quickly replaced with the smell of pancakes which sparked Emma's interest. If anything could get her mind of Hook it was food. She hopped out of bed and made her way downstairs where she was greeted by her family and a wonderful looking stack of freshly made pancakes. "Morning everyone." Emma said as she sat down and reached for a plate. "Morning." Everyone said simultaneously. Emma was slightly taken aback by their perfectly coordinated response but she ignored her suspicion and moved on to the task at hand, eating. She filled her plate with every bit of food she could find and dug into it not caring that she probably didn't look very lady like.
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While Emma was starting her day off with a normal breakfast Hook was doing something quite the opposite of normal. He, Regina and Cora were hard at work plotting the demise of everyone in StoryBrooke starting with Emma. They all had a mutual hate for her now or so thought Cora and Regina. The truth was Hook could never hate Emma but he told himself that he did and reminded himself of what she did to him every time he was feeling uneasy about destroying her. "Mother!" Regina exclaimed angrily, "We can't do that if we do Henry could get hurt!" Regina was fuming. Cora kept giving her suggestions to defeat the 'uncharmings' (as Regina liked to call them) but they all seemed to end up hurting Henry too and that was not an option. "Regina darling it's the only option! I can make sure that Henry goes unharmed. When are you going to start trusting your mother?" Cora yelled back at Regina with just as much furry and frustration. This back and forth continued for the next half hour and Hook was starting to go mad. He had hardly gotten two words in the whole time. "NO! I will not go along with that it is too dangerous for Henry." Regina argued. "That's what you said about every other option I gave you too and guess what, I'm running out of ideas!" Cora argued back. "Well maybe if your ideas weren't so incredibly outrages and unrealistic I would start agreeing with you on them, Mother." Regina's tone got quieter but it was still laced with anger and sarcasm. "Maybe if you weren't so stubborn and close minded my ideas wouldn't seem so 'outrages' and 'unrealistic', Regina." Cora retorted in the same condescending tone. Regina opened her mouth and started to say something but was interrupted by Hook. "STOP!" He yelled, slamming his fist down on the table. They both looked at him like he had just tried to kill them. He ignored it and continued on. "If you two don't bloody agree on a plan soon I am going to start doing things the way I wanted to and just plunge my hook straight into everyone's hearts!" He yelled. They stared at him blankly for a moment and then turned back to each other. Regina cleared her throat, "As much as I hate to admit it... the pirate is right, we need to stop arguing and work together as a team like we planned." Cora nodded, "Agreed." It took a while... A long while but the three of them finally settled on a plan. The people of Storybrooke were most definitely in trouble. Especially Emma.
***
<Bit of a time hop>
Emma's POV
I sat at my desk going through what felt like endless amounts of paper work. I huffed and placed my chin in the palm of my hand. My job had been so boring lately. I remember when Hook used to sneak in here at night. He would shove all my work aside and pull me out of my chair telling me that 'I work too much.' And to 'have a little fun.' I smiled, recalling those nice memories. My time with Hook was short but man it was fun. Too bad he's a jealous jerk who can't move past something as insignificant as my kiss with August. It's not like I even like August like that. I'm far more attracted to a different leather clad man.Unable to stare down at the painfully boring files anymore, I dropped my pencil and leaned back in my chair. I just want to go home. *thunder* I looked out the window to see that, yet again, it was raining. "Great." I huffed. "Because everything good happens to me when it rains." Pushing aside the rest of my work, I gathered my things and began to make my way out. I couldn't be stuck in this station any more I was going nuts. I wrapped my hand around the door handle and began to pull but stopped in my tracks when I felt a hot breath of air on the back of my neck. "Oh don't let me stop you Swan. Please do proceed to leave." I heard that familiar British voice whisper in my ear causing shivers to go throughout my whole body. My hand slipped from the handle and I turned around to face my pirate ex. Wait IS he my ex? Were we even a couple? I ignored my thoughts and cleared my throat. "Hook. What brings you here?" I asked. He smirked, "Why, I can't come and see my beautiful lass just for fun?" He asked, quirking his eyebrow in that all too familiar flirty manner. "I'm not yours. You don't own me." I spat at him. Dear gosh he bugged me sometimes. He only laughed at my comment and stepped back so that he was leaning against the wall. "I see you've still got that fire in you that I find," He paused and closed his eyes, a smile making its way on to his lips, "Oh so attractive." He finished in a whisper. What is wrong with him? He's acting like that perverted pirate he was when we first met. My question was soon answered. He stepped closer again and exhaled deeply allowing me to smell the alcohol on his breath. This idiot has been drinking. "Hook, how much have you had to drink?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. He reached for his flask and shook it trying to listen for the sound of rum swishing around but there was barely any sound at all. He smiled, "Huh, would you look at that." He stepped closer, stumbling a little as he did so. "I guess I have had a lot." He said with a laugh. This irresponsible idiot he's what like 300 years old? And yet he still doesn't know how to drink responsibly. I can't believe I ever dated an alcoholic. "Hook you're drunk. I want you to hand me your flask and go back to your ship, okay?" I said as calm as I could and tried to reach for his flask but he pulled away. "No! My rum is the only thing that'ss keeping me ssane and I am not drunk." "Oh really?" I questioned. "Then why are your slurring your words?" I raised my eyebrow. He looked at me as though I was crazy. "I'm not... sslurring my-" He lifted a finger and shook it at me, "Wordss." He finished. He tried to step forward but instead fell face forward on the ground. "Hook!" I exclaimed and fell to my knees beside him. I pulled him off the ground and sat him up against the wall. "Still think you're not drunk?!" I was so angry at him right now. I wanted to punch him straight across the face. "Fine." He stated. "Maybe I am a little drunk but I am a grown man and I have every right to be!" He said angrily, his voice beginning to raise into a yell. I didn't give him the satisfaction of a reply I just reached behind him in search of his flask. "Oh I ssee someone still wantss herself a little pirate love, huh?" Hook flirted, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me a little closer. I pushed him off. "No." I said with a scowl. "What I want is for you to go back to your ship and sober up." I held out the flask. "Which is why I took this." I said with a smile. His face turned red and he clenched his fist. "Give it back Swan!" He yelled. He attempted to swipe it back from my hand but I pulled back so he couldn't. "No. You cannot have anymore rum. Go home and sleep this off, now!" I ordered. I felt like I was punishing a three year old child. That's what Hook was acting like though. He furrowed his eyebrows. "I am not going back to my ship and you can't tell me what to do I'm not your child." Hook said with a pout. It's almost like he'd read my thoughts. I crossed my arms. He may be stubborn but so was I and he was going to go home. "You know if you wouldn't act like a child I wouldn't treat you like one." I said, anger and frustration seeping through every word. "Oh please I don't act like a child you just think you're in control of everyone." He moved from his spot on the floor and crawled almost tiger like over to me, getting as close as he possibly could. "Emma Swan, the perfect saviour, ruler of all." He mocked me. "Well guess what darling," He paused and a heart wrenching evil smile creeped onto his lips, "You aren't my ruler and you most certainly aren't my saviour. So get off your bloody high horse and give me my flask back." During his little speech I had been so concentrated on his painful words that I hadn't notice his hand wrapping around my own. With one tug he had his flask back and I was lying, back down, on the floor. "Agh!" I shouted in pain as I hit the hard floor. I looked up and for a solid second I saw something that I thought I'd never see again, worry. It flickered across Hook's eyes but it was gone as soon as it came and his eyes were back to their anger filled dark blue state. He hovered over top of me, a scowl marring his face. "You should watch what you say to me." He whispered viscously. "I am not afraid to end you." His last words were filled with so much hate and violence that it made my heart stop. I closed my eyes and a tear slipped out, dripping slowly down my cheek. All I could do was try and imagine that this wasn't happening. Just to close my eyes and think it away but it didn't work. Hook lifted his hand and wiped away my tear. "Shhh love, there's no need to cry," He dipped his head and lightly pecked my cheek then pulling away he whispered, "It's not your time yet." What? What is that supposed to mean? I opened my eyes and searched Hook's face for any readable emotion but as hard as I tried I could find nothing. He was a blank slate. Kind of like the first time we met. Everything in my head was conflicting and fighting with the other and it caused more tears to fall down my face. Hook smiled, "What's wrong darling?" He asked. For a moment he sounded like his old self, like the way he used to speak to me but the murderous scowl that swept across his face only a second later told me that it was only an act. "I- I don't know... what's wrong" I mumbled so quiet that I doubted he even heard me. He let out a deep chuckle and began kissing my face in all the spots where tears had fallen. "What- what are you doing?" I asked nervously. He paused for a moment, "Kissing all your tears away." He answered me and proceeded to kiss me. What the h:):):). One second he's trying to kill me and the next he's kissing me. Why is he so back and forth? I lifted my hands to his chest and pushed him away so that I could see his face. Still unreadable. "What?" He asked angrily. "I thought you hated me." I said. He laughed, "I do hate you." He stated nonchalantly. What?! What is with this man?!!? I quirked an eyebrow, "Well then why are you 'kissing my tears away'?" He smirked flirtatiously and leaned down close to my ear, wrapping one arm around me, "You know what they say Swan, it's a thin line between love and hate." I flinched slightly as his breath tickled my ear. Gosh why am I so attracted to him? I ignored my thoughts and tried to regain my confidence, pushing him off of me I stood up. "Well I know for sure that I hate you." I said, gathering up all the courage I had in me. Of course that was a lie but Hook didn't need to know that. No one did.
***
Hook's POV
I cannot believe what I had just heard come from my Swan's mouth. She told me that she hated me. I examined her face, looking deep into her blue-green eyes trying my hardest to find some kind of sign that she was lying. Of course I didn't care all that much because I hated her. Right? Yes Killian she hurt you. I reminded myself. And it as true. I hated Swan... but I still wanted her. Bloody h:):):) I finally admitted it. Probably just because I'm drunk. I pushed my thoughts aside and stepped closer to Emma. "You... hate me?" I asked her, trying my hardest to not sound disappointed. She didn't say anything but she nodded. I furrowed my eyebrows and let out a deep growl. She couldn't hate me! We only just broke up. "Why?!" I asked in a shout. "Why don't you want me?!!!?? Why have I never been good enough for you?!?" Before I even had time to think about what I was saying everything, every last feeling I had been having poured out. What have I done? You cannot be so vulnerable with her! She'll only hurt you. Emma had been silent for the last few minutes. She was just staring at me like I was a mad man. To be honest I didn't blame her... for that. Suddenly, her hand was on my cheek. "Killian... I don't hate you." She admitted. My eyes had been on the ground but this made me look up. She doesn't hate me but that doesn't mean she loves me or even cares about me at all. "Then how do you feel about me?" I asked her. I needed to know. I would never act on it after what that, that witch did to me but I had to know. She slid her hand down my cheek and onto my shoulder, pulling herself closer to me. My breathing hitched. Just because I hated her didn't mean I'd lost my attraction towards her. Her mouth was open but she wasn't speaking. It was like she was trying but the words wouldn't come out. Not that I'm surprised. She doesn't care about me. "Bloody h:):):) Swan just tell me!" I screamed at her in frustration. She pushed back, "Fine!" She said. "I- Hook I lo- " She struggled against her words not wanting them to slip off her tongue. I knew it. She doesn't love me. She never will. I stepped back "That's what I thought." I said and my voice cracked a little against my will. I can't cry over her she's not- she's just not... Ugh. Why did I even come here? Thunder rolled outside and my head began to pound. Oh yeah that's why, I'm drunk. Or at least I was. Time to un-sober. I grabbed my flask off the floor, where I had left it, and began to walk out. Swan said nothing to stop me of course. I grasped the handle and started to pull but then, "Killian, wait!" Emma yelled. I turned on my heel and faced her. "What?" I asked in an exasperated tone. I was tired of being here. She ran down the small hall and before I had a chance to process it she wrapped her hand around my head and pulled me into her lips. I hesitated at first but then began to give in and wrapped my arms around her. Gosh she's tastes so good. I've missed this. We separated for a moment's breath and when I tried to lean back in Emma stopped me. "Wait." She whispered. What on earth could possibly be worth pausing this moment. "What is it?" I asked her impatiently. "I love you." She said and my heart stopped beating. I never imagined I would hear her tell me that. Those three simple yet impossible words that everyone in the world is challenged with at some point in their lives and now Emma Swan, the woman that I've wanted since the moment I saw her, was saying them to me. I'm so- ...Angry. How dare she tell me this now! I've finally seen past her lies and broken free from her spell and she decides to say this to me now. How selfish! It's not like she even meant them. It was all a game to her, just a way to manipulate me into doing whatever she pleases. If she really loved me then she would've told me outside of Granny's when I told her, she wouldn't of hurt me- hurt my heart so many times. That's not love. No that's something entirely different, Something selfish and cruel and-and evil. I clenched my jaw and looked that horrid Swan in the eyes, "I don't care." I said with as much hate as I could muster. She would no longer hurt me. I wouldn't let her. I let go of my hold on her and walked out before she could say a word. I didn't want to hear her excuses. I just wanted... I don't even know what I want. But it doesn't involve Emma Swan. It can't because I hate her... well I think I hate her. No you don't Killian you love her. "No!" I shouted as if my conscious was a real person that could hear me. I shook away my thoughts and continued walking away as fast as I could. I couldn't trust myself around Emma. I couldn't let myself feel things for her, not anymore, not ever again.
***
Emma's POV
"I don't care." Those words kept ringing in my head. I fell to the ground and let tears stream down my face. I had just let down my walls for the first time in 11 years only to be abandoned again. What is so unloveable about me? Why does everyone leave me? I am never going to love anyone like that again. It only brings pain and brokenness. My walls are there for a reason and no man will ever penetrate them again. The only love I need in my life is Henry. Forever...
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♥️Chapter dedicated to @/OUAT_person♥️
<3 Thank You for Helping Me past my case of Writer's block! <3
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Writer's Nøte:
This chapter is like
All over the place lol
But I liked the last few
POVS and I hope you did
Too. :) <3 :{D
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