A Collection Of Phan One-shots (Boyxboy)

Don't Leave

[A/N: Inspired whilst listening to Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer. Why does it feel like I'm always "killing" Dan in these fics? Soz]

Summary: Dan left Phil after a fight four years ago. They haven't talked since. When Phil decides to go outside one day, he sees Dan under a tree for the first time in person since their fight. Long-forgotten memories resurface.

Phil woke up to his phone going off. He groaned and reached for it on his bedside table. He turned it off before rolling over and checking the time.

10:15

Below the time on the lock screen, a YouTube notification read:

"danisnotonfire just uploaded a video: Internet Support Group 18"

Phil felt a small pang in his chest but he smiled at it. He'd watch it later. Now, he needed to go to the bathroom.

After that, he made his way to the kitchen, carrying his phone. He ignored the room beside his own. He ignored the lonely air. He ignored the probably dusty space within that room that he hadn't opened in four years. He just walked, the sound of his feet silently tapping against the wooden floor filling the eerily quiet flat.

Phil wasn't used to this. But he had to be.

He sat himself down with a bowl filled with cereal, a spoon and a carton of lactose-free milk. He poured his milk into the bowl and balanced his phone against the carton. He unlocked his phone on YouTube and tapped on Dan's new video. Phil hadn't watched him in a month and his emptiness just grew during that absence.

The video played in that crappy 480p quality and Dan's face appeared on Phil's screen. His heart physically hurt and he felt like he was entering forbidden territory. As if watching Dan's videos wasn't something he was allowed to do. But he continued nonetheless, wondering how Dan was doing.

"Hello, Internet," Dan's different recorded voice greeted as usual. Phil smiled as Dan went on reading problems sent to him by some fans. He looked the same yet different. Different to Phil only, the one that had been with Dan the longest and knew him the most. Phil knew there was something wrong with Dan.

His smile did not reach his eyes. His eyes, his beautiful, expressive, chocolate brown eyes, did not shine as he laughed. His hands stayed at his lap for the majority of the video instead of making his wild gestures like they always did. The circles under his eyes were more prominent. Phil took in how obviously scripted it all was, like Dan was afraid of saying something wrong when he was left to improvise. Even if he did, he could always record again and edit it out. The solution was obvious and easy. It was as if he had lost the strength to repeat and repeat and repeat.

The video ended, and Phil resisted the urge to like it. He didn't want the fans to notice that he was watching Dan's videos. The video was funny but not genuine. The fans couldn't see the difference between the Dan now and the Dan four plus years ago. Dan told them that the break-up was mutual, but if only they knew.

If only they knew how they cried and how they yelled. How Phil made such a big mistake and how Dan left without a goodbye.

Phil was a topic avoided by the danosaurs and Dan to the phillions. It was a no-no subject in any place.

But, being such a popular topic, it was naïve to think that a few mentions could be avoided.

Anyway, Phil finished his cereal and decided to go outside for some fresh air. Maybe the breeze could blow away his sadness. Maybe the sun could melt the emptiness that seemingly permanently resided within his heart. Maybe, finally, he could be happy again.

Phil let out a bitter bark of laughter at his wishful thinking.

He changed his clothes to something more outdoorsy before slipping his phone in his pocket with his wallet and keys. After making sure he didn't leave anything dangerous turned on, he left the apartment.