Dear Haley; Love, Haley Vol. 1

Life is going okay, it's not bad but there are ways life operates

Dear Haley,

Life is going okay, it's not bad but there are ways life operates. No matter how life may be, life operates in a specific way. There are ways to be happy, and there are ways to be sad. Life is given to everyone, so everyone has a way of being happy and being sad. Life is complex and acts weirdly to everyone and all. All you have to know is yourself and how to work with yourself along with everyone else. What do you want for you and how are you with others? I know I can be rude, unkind, and bothered by the way life may treat me, sometimes I want what is inside me to just know exactly what to do and do it. To not be bothered so easily or be rude or unkind to others. It does affect me as well as others and I don't want to hurt others. I know I care about my loved ones, but what am I willing to do for them? What makes me happy as I am with them? Well, I know my main goal is to not stress them out. I don't want my family to worry about being stressed or worried about life. I know that as life goes on, we tend to worry and stress, but there is a reason behind it. I believe the reason why I feel stressed and worried is because I tend to put my emotions here on the essence of Earth. Like my cats, or a job, or something I know I want to get done, but there is something inside me that is making me not want to. I prioritize my happiness above my health and wealth. In this world, what would come first? And for my goals, what would I truly put first? I have to admit, this feels hard. This feels like a challenge, and I am not mad about it, but I do want to get this over with. My cats are affecting my emotions and I know they are animals; I care for them, and I want to do the right thing. But they are too much to handle right now, and it is clear inside me that it is because I am favoring something that I shouldn't. I want this to make sense, but it also feels pointless. Like there is a way to demonstrate this type of consideration that I'm not ready to handle. Or I am not understanding how to handle it. I believe these are the moments where life can get tough, and to be honest. I am not sure what exactly it requires. Do I need to have faith, or put something into action? Do I need to take matters into my own hands and figure out what is the best solution? There may be trial and error, but there is also effort and patience. I need to simply give this to The Most High and stop worrying. Now what do I do for me, honestly. There is so much to do, so much time in a day and I am just overwhelmed. That's all. I need perspective. Perspective and some confidence to really be my best self. How am I going to achieve that? I should be happy I woke up early. I should be happy I know what book to read. I should be happy I have a routine. I am happy I have siblings and we are all unique. I am happy I am not alone. I am happy I have a family who loves me. I am happy I am doing well. Life is not about figuring everything out; it is about the present moment. Day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute. Second by second. Moment by moment. I need to stop worrying about the physicality of the world. There is a reason for everything, so it is best to have faith and allow everything to play out. I guess I get bored at times, and I feel like I don't have as much responsibility as I actually do. Plus, I see life as something to achieve, not something I need to live in. Why? Because I don't have the confidence to do what I want to do. I feel like I need a reason to do what I can do. That is really the case. I get insecure and to be honest, I know I can give it to The Most High, but I do wonder as to why I am not as confident. Like why am I hiding? Why do I fear putting myself out there? We have something to offer and considering that I want to be the best, I don't know why I don't achieve what I want to be. But to be honest, it is likely loneliness, so I stay put and hold back because I feel no urge to try. But that is okay, The Most High is working with me day by day and I am excited to see all that they have to offer to me. I am quite intrigued, and I feel blessed. For the reason The Most High values me, I am happy to be by their side as they are with mine and I will be in tune with their presence, always. I am excited to spend my time with them. Thank you so dearly, you really are a true friend. I love you always and may we live life together. Thank you and I love you.

Love,

Haley