Dear Haley; Love, Haley Vol. 1

If I need to remember how to win, here is my mindset

Dear Haley,

If I need to remember how to win, here is my mindset. The little goals truly make the best of an accomplishment. When I was running, I kept thinking about stopping. I didn't want to push myself because I didn't feel it in me to even run. I like running when I know how to run. I don't like running when I need a reason to run. I would just put it to the side because that's not really what makes me excited. I know being bored in life has its value, so I'm not going to disregard those moments. I just know that when I'm committing to something that is valuable, I'm enjoying it's time because it's not about the accomplishment. It's about the journey that's makes me feel better. And of course, my breathing has to mean every moment. If I acted like I didn't want it in my life and I tried to make things work, I would feel dissatisfied because I chose to do something with myself that felt meaningless. Nothing in this world is meaningless, but to make decisions without enjoying it's value is not how I operate. I rather feel the beauty of my work, then to work without pleasure. Today I got to thinking about my future. I like fantasizing about my love life because I care about it. I like the dreams and ideas of what I could have but deep down in those dreams, I see reality. I see why I think the way I do. I see how I truly am and how I operate. I get it and it's so beautiful. I gave my all to The Most High and as I did that, I've came to the conclusion that I am thankful that I am made the way I am. I'm not upset that I have to change for others, I'm not mad that I have to build my dream, and I'm not sad that I have to leave my home to be with my other half. All I know is that life moves and goes. There are stories to talk about and there are dreams to see, but what's in front of my is the reality of my expectations. So it does leave me curious and I can have fear. I don't wear glasses, but I am partially blind and I cannot see who I am anymore. I just know I exist and that I'm growing each day I'm being made. I don't want my fantasies like I want my dream. I don't want to see what I could've had when I know what I want is right in front of me. I'm not interested in building something ideal when the truth is that the way we are made is far more beautiful than our fearing thoughts. You can tell me you wish for many things in life and how things could have turned out different, I would tell you the same thing and later think of why I enjoy what I have. You only complain when you lose focus on what you want in life, and you lose patience when you lack empathy for what you need. We are walking a road to endless creativity and the best thing we could do is simply be ourselves. I know why I feared and why I lacked. I know why I was made to see those emotions. I know that if I really want something, all I have to do is let my peace sit with the patience I am gifted. I know how to move, and I know how to operate. I know I can learn a lot from others and my family is far more beneficial then hoping I meet a man who wants me. I am already wanted. I just know that there will be days I walk alone, and days where I will be with someone on my own. But what is the rush to wait at the aisle. Or the rush to make plans that doesn't know who you are. I think we all need to know who we are in spirit and flesh. If I knew I loved running because it releases stress, I would ask how and why rather than jumping the gun, only to see myself sad and concerned that I couldn't make it far. My mind loves happy endings, but I know in order to value what I want in the future, I have to be willing to recognize it in the present. Then I would know which way to turn so my plans not only makes me feel better, I am doing better by doing me with abundance and joy. I'm excited to live life, even if I have to sit here in the days of my present. They show me how to live rather than how to run. To not chase what I thought I wanted rather than see what I already have. I feel like the reason why we want what we want so bad is because our wants are so judgemental. We think we are too poor to even love who we already are. That we are not worth our dreams and desires. We are far more valuable than money and we have the ability to make life more exciting if we understood who we are as a character. I know who I am when I know I am thankful to be me. And even when I'm sad, I know there's always a place I can go to that will make my rainy days a garden filled with delicious roses. I'm too powerful when I take a glimpse of the world. I'm not of this world and yet I still exist. And if everyone knew who they were, we would either die in a relationship, or die because we felt so certain we had the answer. But patience makes us see the smallest details that makes us unique in our own skin. I just know if I needed to believe in someone, I would have to choose me because working on art is like working on you. I don't want to build a dream without the painter and I don't want to give hope in something if it isn't the Creator. They know our story better than ourselves and yet I choose to walk with my eye covered. I'm blind to their work, but I know they drew me with an imagination that is never wrong. Thank you for your time. I know you made us all to tell a story about why you exist, but to see you walk without acknowledgement feels like a burden in my mind. So when I write, may my words be written through you, and when we speak, may I know you are the Creator of The Most High. I love you, and thank you for everything and all. Kisses to you mi amor.

Love,

Haley