Dear Haley; Love, Haley Vol. 1

Where do I begin? I don't know how to be honest without coming off foul

Dear Haley,

Where do I begin? I don't know how to be honest without coming off foul. I don't even know what to say. It's like it's in the past and there isn't much left for me to say. I am thinking about the long-term process, and I had a thought of being superior to everyone. I have to be honest, what does equality truly mean? Does it mean to feel someone's problem as they speak their poison? People always come to me about their emotional problems, and although I can play a role in their behavior, that does not mean I am their advisor. Like I get you have an issue, and I am all ears to hear you ramble about how things could be different, but I am not God. I am not a savior who is going to make all of your problems go away. I am a human being, a character. I know I can make mistakes, but to be honest. Mistakes are far more beautiful than anything else in this world. Why? Because there is nothing, I can do besides think about it and learn to do better the next time. I could be more self-conscious and say that I don't want people to judge me due to my mistakes, but people enjoy mistakes. Whether it's from others or themselves. No one is going to admit it until they feel the beauty behind it, but that's because we are too focused on the emotional aspect of their creation rather than their worth. The more I think about it, I feel like a mistake can only benefit you depending on the impact. Do I have enough care to do better, or am I listening to the silence of my present? I believe acting is such a beautiful talent. When I see a problem, I always want to jump in to fix it. Mainly because it is right in front of me. Do I know who I am to be me more, or to control the personality of who I am? At this point, I don't think I care about what happens, all I care about is to be still and listen. I don't have the energy to allow people's emotions to strangle me in my world, that is not my problem. But I do care about others when they are seeking help. I want to help, but I am not a victim to your misery. If anything, you need to handle your situation on your own. There are moments I wish I knew better. Especially when I feel suicidal. I don't want to really die, but anyone who wants to infect me with your emotional understanding, you're going to have to listen to yourself before you tell me what to do. All I can think about is my life and my situation. I know how to feel emotions, I know how to see emotions and understand. But I have an understanding when it comes to situations and how I would handle things. If you don't like my advice, why tell me your perspective? I like to talk, and if I am not talking in a conversation, I lose focus on their perspective. You can bore me if you're not looking to hear from me. I know people are interested in having ears to listen to them, and do not get me wrong. I will listen, but I have an idea established in my mind and if you're not going to listen to me, I will feel useless. I feel bored, it bores me. And then you have the nerve to not agree with me. Maybe I'm taking the conversation too personal. I am a personal person; I am literally airing my business on the internet because I like who I am. I want to talk to someone I can listen to and actually build conversation. I want to connect, not subscribe to a story. How do I connect with someone? How do I fall in love with someone? How do I become in tune with myself? I listen to my heart and hear what she wants. She is so pretty in person; I actually like her. She gets me because we make sense together. I want to be able to breathe without hurting anyone. And I don't want my words and actions to make someone feel undeserving. I want to be able to fall in love with a person's heart without hurting the discrepancies amongst themselves. I love who I am, but I need to listen more with my heart then my mind. Maybe she will show me how to love others the way I love myself and give me advice in the way my mouth breathes light into fresh air. I would rather be consistent with the focus of my soul than to let others tarnish my spirit due to the disrespect upon others' behalf. Then maybe I will know the truth behind every story. The Most High, what do you think? What more could I ask for as I walk among the people of this Earth? How can I value others' approval as I wait for a man to show me his worth? And is it worth it to be with a king then to marry my other half due to his mistakes? What more could I ask for. I rather wait for what you have to say than to wait around looking for answers. I love you my handsome one, sweet kisses to you, my amore.

Love,

Haley