Love born from hatred (Year 2/End)

He who would climb the ladder must begin at the bottom

Ryuuen's Pov:

Trash. That's all I've been worth till now. And until I do something big that's all I'll ever be. People like me, orphans, are viewed as nothing more than objects of sympathy by others and instead of helping us they choose to watch as we ruin our lives without the proper guidance of anyone around us. Then it's these same people that turn around and accuse us of being attention seeking bastards even though they know we had no one to look towards for guidance.

The one good thing that comes from being at the bottom of the order is that you can't get any lower so you have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

Of course there are a lot more hard times than successful ones because when someone who has no worth tries to increase his worth, the world does everything in its power to suppress you.

However when you manage to fight back and snatch yourself a victory even if it seems tiny, the feeling of that victory feels heavy and it remind you why you continue to move forward and why you strive to obtain even greater victories.

"Whoever wants to reach the top of the ladder must start at the bottom of it."

It's a simple yet unwritten rule that the universe imposed on everyone but that does not stop it from being any less true.

Kushida's POV:

To be acknowledged, to be praised and looked up to by everyone around me. All I ever wanted was that since I was a child. I was considered talented and a genius when I was young but as I got older the expectations of others greatly outweighed my own abilities.

I knew I could not fulfill their expectations since I had turned from a young genius to just above average. So instead I focused on areas where I alone could shine brighter than the rest, I became a trusted friend, a reliable shoulder for others to tell me their deepest secrets. It felt really good at first knowing all their secrets and having them confide in me. As time went on however, it became too much to handle all of that alone and I started vomiting from the sheer disgust of possessing these secrets.

People are nothing but trash. That is the conclusion I came to in the last year of my middle school. I wanted to be free from these people and these secrets but at the same time I knew that if I didn't have this part to myself then I wouldn't be needed by others. I would be nothing. Just like trash.

"If only I was good enough to still be considered a genius."

I was envious of every genius out there who had the talent to maintain their abilities to the highest levels. I wanted to be like one of them so that I could finally let go of this part of myself.

"Being good means being free."

It really was just that simple. There were no tricks to it but at the same time despite being simple it was also the cruelest fact to ever exist in this world.

"If only I'd tried to find a way around my limitations rather than walk this disgusting path back then."

I always had this regret for the longest time. I always wanted to go back and change that one moment in my life to be given a second chance to start from zero.

And then I was given a second chance. A chance to start from level 0 again. At the end of my first year of my high school life I had ended up losing everything and everyone around me.

At the time it felt like the most world ending thing to ever happen to me but now I realize it was the greatest thing that could have happened to me. Due to that I was given a second chance, a do over, to start again as being worthless and rebuild myself and my worth into something I could live with.