Love born from hatred (Year 2/End)

The Past Never Sleeps

"The wind has gotten a lot colder, I should have worn warmer clothes."

I was walking back from my hangout with Horikita and Hirata. The wind had picked up and was freezing my face now but I suppose that was partially my fault for not preparing in accordance with the weather.

Hanging out with people I could potentially consider friends was an enjoyable experience and one I would like to experience more. Despite not engaging often, Horikita, Hirata and I managed to hold long conversations about various different topics
regarding school and out of school activities.

I believe the three of us were all of the same mindset as we all had trouble connecting with the people around us but at the same time that didn't mean that we didn't want to connect. Sure Hirata and Horikita were able to connect on the surface level with others which is a lot better than me but they both still couldn't form a connection that went both ways and didn't just rely on the other person being dependant on them to maintain their connection.

Hirata's loneliness and Horikita's inability to emotionally connect with those around her are two things I understood quite well as I had both those inabilities inside me.

I want to reconstruct myself to be better at this, I want to dissolve everything I was taught in that room that took away my ability to connect with others and be like the rest but I just can't do it. It's not easy to destroy yourself and rebuild from the ground up again when all you know how to be is how you have been since the minute you were born. It's easier for others who have the ability to feel and connect with the things around them as they can change colours like a chameleon on a tree since most human beings have that capability inside them.

"I'm still searching for a way back down to this ladder I have climbed."

The only thing I'm losing from that room are my abilities which I had honed for years and years, at every second of every moment. I can feel myself getting weaker every moment I spend outside that room.

"Kiyotaka Ayanokoji the genius of the white room, it really is you here in the flesh."

I looked in front of me to see four students standing there, they looked like first years to me.

"I thought you would be taller and more intimidating senpai." A girl with an odd hair colour and a vixen look on her face was looking at me with a smile but I knew she was trying to analyze me as a person to make sense of who I was.

"Ichika cut it out don't start putting your fantasies on Ayanokoji senpai." A blond haired girl with a kind look on her face, no, I can tell she's hiding something behind that kindness of hers.

"Nanase is right, you should stop giving him that look Hosen. He's our upper class man after all." A timid looking student who's trying to hide his claws behind that facade of a personality he's created.

"The last one is certainly more interesting than the rest as he's not trying to hide anything behind a properly constructed mask but rather looks me dead in the eye and openly challenges me. Hosen was it?"

"So who are you four?" I can tell who or more specifically where they are from but I'll play dumb for a little while.

"We're just first years who wanted to meet you Ayanokoji senpai."

"Then how do you know about that room?"

"It's because the three of us are from that room and we were given the task to bring you back either willingly or by force."

"What about the kid on your left? Why's he with you if he's not part of this conversation?"

"He just wants the bounty on your head that's been put out by the school and decided to work for me to obtain it."