My heart is racing
It rages as I look at all the people
All around me
Their cold gazes freeze me in time
My heart won't stop, it's a constant in my life now
I step out of the room in silence
As you make your rounds
And I hope that you will be the white noise at the end of the aisle
Next time around
My friends and I are a different kind
Misplaced memories and torn between the pages
All the people staring down on us
My hands are shaking and I check my pulse
I know I'm still alive but sometimes I forget
I wish things were different
Trembling I tell myself beautiful lies in the silence
As I walk away
For another day I hope my lonely heart
Is a constant in someone's memory
We step forward, then back
All over the green grass
It stains my white shoes
It takes others aback
And I'm left stranded with this sense of hopelessness
I don't think anyone could ever forget
The tears in the eyes of an angel I know
The way you looked at me when I stepped back
My footsteps embracing the grass as my gray gaze caught your concern
Why look at me like that?
Is there something so wrong about me?
In the midst of the tears
The rose in my pocket starting to wither away
I felt weak and beautiful like it
As I made my way down the pathways
Far away
Far away from this disgrace of mine
The tears of the angels the rest of the world forgot
Withering away in the times I remembered
I was empty and bruised
Paranoia poisoned with nightmares
I saw fragments of what was dear to me
Purple and green embraced my skin
Its warmth melted all over me
Its fragrance gave me the strength to go on
So I put it in my pocket and ran away
Withering away with the tears of the angels
Forgetting about the world together
Out on the terrace
The evening engulfing the rest of our time
My friends across the way
Distant voices and the skyfall above
Hearts in the clouds
Heaven was among us
I forget what that feels like when I lose myself to strangers
Strangers like me
I joined my friends on the other side
Their radiant smiles and joyous shine
The flowers spilling out of my pockets
The petals leave a trail
It all comes back to me
Out on the evening terrace
I graced by you
The voices around me distant, closing in
Too close, too soon
Right here, right now
The lavender and the withered rose
It was a display for you
All for you
All over me
All beautiful now
It felt so right
The way your fingertips grasped the petals
The way your eyes pleaded
"This one's mine"
Was I right this time?
All for you
I did it all for you
For your smile was picture perfect
A silver screen
Reading about the headlines and the paper all over the town square
For limelight looks good on you
The way your fingertips grasped what you could get
The way my eyes wandered
"Can I keep it?"
Were we right this time?
"Yes"
Will you keep me in your heart?
The memories
The headlines
"Will you miss your key?"
The empty rooms that disappear after we are gone
"Yes"
Yes
It's above my heart
All I can think about in these moments is you
Tomorrow my heart will be all over
All around me
It is constant
It escapes me
Withering away like the delicate roses
I know one thing for certain
Is that this will fade
Though in my heart the beat is constant
I melt away
I escape
When I think above what fades away
All above my heart.
YOU ARE READING
Heart of Steel
PoetryFollowing the completion of "Stars of Freedom", I will continue writing here. Thank you! <3 12/19/23-Present
