Season's Feather

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Presently, Delilah was at Edmund's grave with Anthony. They were standing there in silence. Delilah knew he was taking his time. It was a shock he was even out here. Summer after summer he hadn't wanted to come back here.

The last time he did, was the summer Delilah and him spent tied at the hip.

She felt Anthony jerk and looked up to see Violet. Anthony quickly shook his head and squeezed Delilah's waist where his hand was.

"I can take my leave," Anthony said quickly.

"No," Violet said, "Stay. Both of you. Please."

Anthony nodded his head and Delilah watched as Violet walked past and set the flowers down she was carrying. She walked over to one of the two benches and took a seat. Delilah and Anthony sat down on the opposite one.

"Lilacs were Uncle Edmunds favorite," Delilah smiled at the sight of them. A silence passed between the three.

Violet looked at her son and Delilah, "My son, my additional daughter. I hate to see you both like this. So weighed down. Worried about a wedding, worried about estates and future dowries. Even a ward. Children, these days should be a time full of joy.

"I am content," Delilah responded.

Violet hummed.

"We are fulfilling our duties to this family, Mother," Anthony said, "That is what takes precedence above all else."

"Just because you both are dedicated to this family does not mean that there should be no room left for grief."

Delilah let her head drop onto Anthony's shoulder. She felt his cheek press against her hair. There was a grief they were letting go unspoken.

"Delilah, your father took his affairs with all the attention he had. Anthony, your father took his role as viscount seriously, but both of them let themselves feel sadness deeply. Delilah, your father felt it the most when he made that deal."

"You know?" Delilah asked.

Violet nodded her head, "I was there for your mother. She never forgave him. Their relationship was never the same. They loved each so deeply, yes. But, there is a reason Mary changed where she wanted to be buried."

Delilah nodded her head. Anthony placed a kiss on the top of her head. She leaned farther into his touch.

"Then Edmund and James passed, and a wall went up inside both of you. As if grief had become some weakness. Instead of the greatest strength, and that is not either of you, my dears," Violet said

"Love," Delilah whispered, her hand squeezed Anthonys, "I am tired of feeling grief, but I know I must let myself feel it. We must let ourselves feel."

Violet nodded her head. Her wish for the two here in this place could be satisfied for now.

"That is what I want for Williamson. For him to accept grief and love," Delilah said, "I know deep down he wants it."

"You are quite certain how well you know that boy?" Violet asked.

Anthony laughed, "I know how sweet and earnest she is compared to the Lord. Delilah you are always a kind word and a joke."

The two shared a smile. Violet looked between them with glowing eyes. But it dropped when she watched both of their eyes dim slightly. Delilah was caught up in how Williamson thought about love. How it was - alien - for him to even think about.

Violet looked at her, "Both of you have felt love. And you both have taken the role as guidance to the Lord, what is the problem?"

Delilah looked to Violet, "He says love shall have no place in his marriage."

"He cannot mean that?"

"He seeks an 'amiable partner with whom he may share a pleasant life, untouched by heartbreak and the ravages of grief,'"

Anthony nodded his head, "Williamson did say that."

"His father died only last year. Just like me and Anthony, he is cursed to remember every waking moment, the difference is he shut himself down. I know I would not want to be the cause of such pain, I assume he feels the same." Delilah spoke, "No matter how cruel and hard-hearted everyone else may find him to be, he is not. He is simply different."

Delilah thought about the boy she considered a brother. Her eyes stared off as she leant into Anthony's side. She wanted to help him. She wanted to be a good sister, a good mentor, a good sponsor.

She wanted both of them to be free from the deal. She just wanted to marry Anthony, the weight of the ring she wore bearing down on her skin.

She took a breath and cleared her throat. Excusing herself, she took the long way back to the manor.