'Cause You Make Me Feel

Are You Blind?!

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Lena's POV

I miss Stef and the kids... I miss them so much, everyday...

Debby is talking about moving together and all I can think about is how I wish Stef was here... it's awful because Debby is perfect, she's wonderful and she loves me, she told me that she does, and I say it back because yes, I love her, I do, dearly, but... I'm not in love with her no matter how hard I try to be.

I'm honestly starting to get depressed... Stef doesn't come visit anymore... it's been weeks since I saw her, Mariana and Jude. Every time I call to ask if I can come by to see them, she says that they're not here, that she's busy and that is when she actually answers my phone calls, because more often than not, she doesn't.

I can't seem to understand why though... just randomly one day, Stef stopped calling me like she usually does, she stopped coming over and I have no idea why suddenly she stopped.

I was fine as long as I could see them regularly. I was fine with Debby and Julian, I could love them both, and they would spend the night sometimes, and I was happy, because, on the side I could still have a relationship with my best friend, and I could still have a relationship with Mariana and Jude, but now that I don't have that anymore, I can't seem to be able to enjoy Debby and Julian as much as before because I miss this other family that I have on the side.

It's so weird. I didn't have any family before, now I feel like I have two and I shouldn't feel like that because I can't have them both, that is not right. The family I should want is the one that I know is possible with Debby and Julian. This toddler is so sweet, and kind and his mother is gorgeous and she knows me and all, but when I'm with them, I can help but miss Stef and her children and I feel so guilty about that... so very much because it's not fair to them...

I know I have to do something about this, I can't keep going like that... and to see more clearly, I need to know why Stef is avoiding me like this.

So today, after work, I drove by the bakery she works at, only to see that it was closed. Knowing that, I'm pretty sure Stef is at her place, so I don't lose anytime to drive over there without calling her first or anything because she'll probably say that she's not here or something like that.

I reach her parking lot and I'm not even surprise to see that her car is here, so I park next to it. I take a very deep breath before I get out of my car because I'm so nervous to see her again... the thought only is making my heart beats so fast and I know I have to just go, before I resign myself to go back home. I can't let that fear of rejection get to me all the time like this... because that's what caused me to not tell Stef how I felt in the first place.

I reach her doorstep and take another deep breath to try to calm my nerve though it wasn't working that well. I finally knock at her door and wait, almost unable to stay still until she opens the door and met my eyes, making me froze instantly...

"Lena? You usually call before coming by..." she says as I frown my eyebrows a bit... that's all she has to say, seriously?"

"And you usually answer your phone when I call you... I guess things change, huh?" I say back for as much as I miss her, I'm also angry at her... she said that we will be okay, she said that she was still my friend, that we would see each other and all, until one day she basically ignores me.

"Lena... what are you doing here?" She asks sighing as I look into her beautiful hazel eyes. Oh God, is she pretty. She's dressed so simply, she barely has make up on, but she's simply stunning.

"I am here because you don't answer my phone calls, because you don't come by anymore and I have no idea why you're suddenly avoiding me." I say as I was still at her doorstep and she stares at me, not saying anything.