Monty x Male Reader

Chapter 19 Anorexia

AN: Well, this was a chapter idea that was suggested to me, but you might have noticed some building to this in previous chapters, I wasn’t exactly subtle with it. Also I am anorexic, so this was easy for me to understand and write. Anyways, time for angst.

F/M: favorite meal

F/D: favorite drink

…---…

You woke up in Monty’s arms, but as comfy as you were, you were really hungover. You sat up on the edge of the bed. You looked to the night stand and found your ibuprofen. You took a couple and drank some water.

Monty was up at this point and asked how you were. You groggily responded that you felt like shit. He sat up next to you and said he’d be right back. You watched him get up and open the door. The beams of light hit your face only making your headache worse. You brought your hand up and covered your eyes. Monty apologized and quickly closed the door. The darkness that once was, consumed the room again.

A bit later, he came back with some more water, toast and chicken noodle soup, a weighted blanket, and some other pills.

“Here, cover up with this, sip some water, eat a bit of food, take these pills, and it might be best to just go back to sleep.” -Monty

“Wow, you seem experienced with hangovers.” -y/n

“Yeah, safe to say I’ve had my fair share of them, but this stuff will help.” -Monty

“I already took some pills… I’m just not hungry though.” -y/n

You set the pills and food on the night shand, then the water after you drank a bit. You bundled into the weighted blanket and looked at Monty. He had a worried expression on his face as he stared at the wall. You could tell he wanted to say something, but was thinking it over.You knew what it was gonna be about, and you had been expecting it for awhile now, but you still weren’t ready for this conversation.

“I…I’m worried about you. You haven’t been eating a lot. I know you say your just not hungry or that you already ate, but-” -Monty

“I’m fine… It’s just… don’t worry, I’m getting enough food.”- y/n

“But you’re not, you are hardly eating, and I am worried about you. I want to help, but you have to let me. Please, tell me what’s going on.” -Monty

“...” -y/n

A silence fell over the room. You weren’t sure what to do. Monty sat there with a worried expression, but he gave you time to think. It felt like an eternity before you finally broke the silence.

“I just, I don’t eat at times because I just feel… fat. I can hardly look in the mirror because all I see is somebody I’m ashamed of. But it’s not just that. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to eat… I guess I have a negative view of myself and that is a way I punish myself. It’s these voices in my head, they tell me I’m fat, ugly and just degrade me. All I can do is stand there and take it because at the end of the day, the voices in my head are my own..” -y/n

“y/n, of course you deserve to eat and you should never think that you don’t. You should never feel that you need to punish by taking away things you need to live, or all for that matter. You have done nothing wrong, you are a great and loving person, you deserve the world, and that’s what I strive to give you. As for the voices, I’m in the same boat with you. It’s there because of our past and what others instilled into our head. I’m here to help change those voices through compliments, love, and affection. I don’t know everything from your past, but from what I do, that love was taken from you. I know it’s not the same, but I will do everything I can to make sure you get the attention you deserve.” -Monty