The Hourglass

Twenty-Two

I wake up to the sound of a phone ringing. It's brighter in my room than usual, and I realize I've slept in. I'm trying to blink my blurry vision away and get my bearings as the previous night comes rushing to my mind. Adam. 

I look over to find Adam on the phone, pulling on his shoes, "Yeah, I'll be there." He says. He hangs up and shoves his phone in his pocket. He sees I'm awake. "Hey," he says, coming over to me. He kisses my forehead. "I have to go. My dad needs to see me. I'll call you later." And then he leaves. 

I'm left in a state of confusion, only half awake. I prop myself up on my elbow and look around as I remember the details of the previous night. Humiliation creeps up my neck, and I groan as I fall back down on the bed. I pull a pillow over my face and say, "I'm an idiot," out loud to no one. 

I can't believe that I invited Adam over last night. I feel embarrassed and weak. I barely know the guy! What was I thinking?  I was thinking that even though Adam and I have barely known each other for two weeks, they've been an amazing two weeks that have made me challenge my every thought. I was thinking that when I'm with Adam I feel safe and happy, even if it doesn't make sense. I was thinking that there's just something about him....

I sigh and remove the pillow from my face so I can breathe. I need to get up and work. I get up and get ready for the day, stopping at the dresser to eye the hourglass. It's still trickling; a quarter of the sand is gone now. I swallow. But he told me about his mom and dad last night. He admitted he has a drinking problem...and he also admitted he didn't think I could help. He said he had to want help, and he wasn't sure how to do that yet. 

I sigh. I was just going to have to show him how to want it.

I'm working when my phone buzzes. It's Adam: Hey, Beautiful. I'm sorry I had to leave like that this morning. Work stuff. I'll call you later. 

I work as far in advance as I can, deciding that I need to schedule a vacation for myself. I've never taken a break. I've just worked and kept the same routine every week for the past two years. It scares me to think how much longer I could have done that for if Adam hadn't come and interrupted my routine. Adam disrupting my life has opened my eyes to how dull and predictable I live. No wonder my Dad was so concerned about me. 

I'm thinking of going for my walk when Adam calls. "Hey," I answer nervously.

"Hey, I'm sorry it took so long. I had a busy day." He explains. 

"I understand," I tell him. I feel stupid, but I already miss him. The sound of his voice reminds me of last night, and I long for his arms to be around me again. 

"Come over," he says. It's not a question; it's a request. 

"You want me to come over...to your place?" I ask curiously. 

"Yes. I'll text you the address." 

I don't even think about it when I say, "Okay."