The Hourglass

Forty

Adam had helped me get checked in at the hotel and went with me to pick up the rental car. I followed him to the company building and was already beginning to wish I had said yes to him staying with me. I needed to be independent, though, so I take a deep breath before entering the building.

Adam is with me. We'll be together for the elevator ride and then he'll go to his office while I go to mine. Close but separate. I was almost reluctant to even enter the building with him at the same time. I figured it was a moot point, though. Everyone already knew I was with Adam and I was sure it was no secret that I was given a job because of that. 

Adam holds my hand as we enter the elevator. He turns to me when the doors close. "Don't be nervous, he says softly. "You'll do great." 

I swallow hard and nod despite the lump remaining in my throat. Adam leans down and gently kisses me. He looks at me then and says, "Maybe I should just stay in Atlanta this week. I don't have to come into the office every day. I know you want to be independent, but I worry about leaving you alone." The concern in his eyes is sympathetic, not patronizing. 

I want to tell Adam, yes, but I'm afraid of getting too close too soon. I think it's a little late for that, I remind myself as I remember last night. I mentally shame myself.

Adam seems to be able to register my thoughts from the expression on my face. "I pushed you too far last night, right?" he asks in defeat. "Rosaline, I'm sorry. I promised you I would-"

"Adam, " I cut him off. "Please don't blame yourself. I wanted you. I promise you didn't push me. I'm the one who keeps pushing boundaries. That's why we need to just take a little pause. Not like a breakup," I explain suddenly at the look on his face. "I just think some space might help us tone things down a little. You know, like a reset?" I ask as I search his eyes. 

I don't want to hurt him. I'm afraid if I say the wrong thing, I'll mess up our relationship and my assignment. I'm also afraid if I don't take this opportunity to separate us for the week, I'll lose something I can't get back - and I wasn't quite ready for that. The elevator dings as we arrive on our floor. I look at him sympathetically. "We can talk more about it at dinner," I offer. 

Adam looks like he wants to argue but doesn't. The receptionist greets us as we approach the desk. Adam eyes me, silently offering to go with me to HR to fill out all of my paperwork. I give him a look back that says I'll be fine. He watches me for a second longer before giving up and turning for his office. 

The receptionist is busy at her computer, pretending she hasn't noticed the exchange. Without a word, I turn to go down the hall towards the main offices, somehow remembering my way easily. I go and fill out my paperwork in HR, and then I'm sent to the marketing department for training.

Mr. Rodgers greets me happily, "Ah, Rosaline. Welcome!" He says, coming up to me and shaking my hand firmly. "We're so happy you've decided to work with us," he adds, beaming. I can't imagine why, I can't help but think. I really don't have that much to offer. I'm sure there are better-qualified people for the job. 

Mr. Rodgers walks me over to an empty desk. "You can set your things up here for when you're in the office," he explains. "Your work login and email should already be in the system," he continues. He goes on to explain workplace rules and ethics before going into what we do here in the marketing department. It's a long, grueling day. 

Eventually, though, it's time for us to leave for the day. My brain is filled with so much information. My mind is over-stimulated and exhausted, and this was only the first day of training. I took diligent notes, knowing there was no way I'd be able to remember everything Mr. Rodgers covered.