Forever

Tearful Morning

"What the hell do you call this?" Jim said as soon as I woke up.

"What?" I said, kind of weirded out.

"These texts! Who the hell is this Dan guy and why are you meeting up with him tonight? And what's with the kissing faces that you two are sending each other? Babe...stop lying to me." He started shaking and tears started falling from his eyes. "Make up your mind."

I got out of bed and dressed. He just watched.

I took my phone back. He just watched.

I walked out and grabbed my keys. He just watched.

I opened the front door. He just watched.

I turned around. "I love you, Jim, I do. But right now, I don't know what I want. I need to figure it out, I don't want to hurt you, but I don't know how not to anymore." I reached to my left hand and started to slide the brand new engagement ring off the finger.

"Leave it there." He said gently. "I gave it to you. Even if we aren't together anymore, I want you to have it."

"I...I'm sorry Jim. Please tell them that I am sick and won't be in for a while. I need to figure this out." I said looking at the ground.

"Don't worry about it, Kate, I will take care of work." Tears were still running down his face. "As long as you make your decision. I'll be moved into the guest room by the time you come home, if you plan on doing that tonight."

"I'll take the guest room." I said apologetically.

"No, I will. I love you, Kate, I always will, no matter what your decision is." He said ending the conversation.

How could I have done that to him? He's loved me and has taken care of me for all this time, and I just completely told him that I wasn't sure if I wanted to be with him any longer.

I called Dan up. "Hey, are you busy? We need to talk."

"Sure babe, where you wanna meet? I have off from work today, so we can chill." He said excitedly.

"Um, how about the gym?" I asked with a heavy sigh.

"Okay sounds good." He said joyfully.

I pulled out of the driveway after I hung up. I felt horrible. Was I throwing away my forever for this guy I just met? Would Jim still want me back if Dan proved to be just a fling? God my head was spinning.