𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙗𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙚𝙣 𝘿𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙨

19.I'll kill you🖤🤍

"Say that again... Say that again asshole!" Net gently smacked James's chest. It was barely a touch, but it still had a powerful impact.

He couldn't believe his ears. After having the courage to confess to his dear rival, he didn't expect it. Even if he knew James's heart belonged to Jan.

Well that's what he thought.

"I... I hate you. I have always hated you" James's voice was broken and strained, but his eyes were unflinching. It was clear he was in pain, but he didn't show it.

And Net didn't want to believe those deceiving eyes. He wanted to trust his voice.

"You don't! Don't fucking lie to me!" Net said

"You can believe whatever suits you, but this is the truth Net Siraphop... that I hate... you" James  turned around, ready to leave But a hold on his hand stopped him. Biting down his lips he controlled his emotions before turning to the man who held his hands like he never want to let go of them.

James gasped witnessing the sight in front of him.

Before him was Net Siraphop the coldest mafia who had no mercy for anyone who betrayed him, had no mercy for those who did wrong to him, the Net Siraphop who never cried who now had tears in his eyes.

Net tried to hold his tears but couldn't as salty drops of them fell from his eyes. His pink lips trembling a little as his eyes fixed on their holding hands. Which resulted a few drops of tears to fall on James's hand which was held by his one.

James gasps as his breath hitched in his throat. He never saw him like this. Never saw this cold man to lower his head and cry like he lost everything.

James didn't expect this, after all Net Siraphop- the cold man hated crying the most.

"Net..." his voice absently came out soft.

"You really don't love me? Don't like me even a bit?" Net spoke trying his best not to sob.

James felt the urge to hug the man in front of him. Felt the urge to say I love you back. But what was holding him back?

James tried to take his hand back but the hold was tight. Like he won't let go of him.

"Net... Let go" James said.

"No, I confessed, I held your hands and showed you my vulnerable side.... And that's what I get in return?" Net says knowing he sounded selfish. But he wanted to be selfish. Wanted to be selfish for James.

"I'm not your toy Net, that if you cry and order me I'll be yours. We are fucking straight! How can you love me?!" James said and Net raises his head with those eyes filled with tear.

"Ask yourself James, do you really think like that? Is that why you don't want to love me? Ask your fucking self" Net snarled, clenching James's hand.

James's lips trembled as he looked away from the man. But the other male held his chin making him to look back at him.

"Answer me" Net asked softly.

James gasps feeling his legs numb. As much as he wanted to kiss him and tell he felt the same, he couldn't. For some reasons he felt he still loved Jan. Feelings can't change so fast, can they?

James knew sexuality wasn't the reason he couldn't love Net back.

The reason wasn't even known to himself. But what he knew was he needs to ignore Net to get rid of his feelings. Those feelings which will open the gate of his forbidden desires.

"I... I said already, I'm straight and I like Jan. No one else" James said and Net felt a pang in his heart.

"You are lying... She is just a excuse... Right?" Net asked like a kid. A kid who doesn't want to let go of his precious toy.

"I'm sorry Net..." James muttered after biting his lower lip, he tried to push Net's hand but the male held it tightly.

"Then that night... When you were out of your fucking senses... Why did you say you gained me?! Why did you kiss me? Hugged me like you're afraid to let go of me?! Why James  fucking Supamongkon?!" Net says pulling the man closer by the holding hands.

"Like you said, I was out of my sense." James said

"A drunk person is the most honest man James. Don't forget that"

"I'm sick of it Net! Snap out of it! Forget everything and leave me ! Or at best just kill me like you say every time!" James yelled, finally pulling away his hand from the man.

Net stared at him with a blank face before he began to laugh, crazily.

James clenched his fist, looking at the man's vulnerable state he just wondered how did everything change? How did they both felt attraction or better to say love for each other?

Net laughed hysterically as he tumbled onto the couch. James noticed Net's tears smudging on his face and, as a precaution, averted his gaze, but oh boy he had already seen it.

"You're right... I shouldn't have fallen for you... I should kill you, maybe my pain will know an end then" Net says pulling out his gun.

James slightly enlarged his eyes, however he smiled faintly realizing how it was his fault, fault to make Net like this. The male didn't have a reason to live, after all, what the reason was he holding onto for living ?

Net strolled towards him after putting his finger on the trigger. Placing it on his forehead he tried hard not to cry. But his lips trembled.

"Why you won't stop me?" Net asked with a crack in his voice.

"I don't want to" James mumbled almost like a robot.

"Why did you change?" Net asked 

"I never changed, I just couldn't act anymore" James said 

"I'll kill you..." Net says to James but more likely telling himself.

The gun on James's forehead was shaking a bit and James noticed it.

"Hah, what's the matter Net Siraphop ? Why are your hands shaking?" James asked 

"I wished I had the same energy to kill you like before" Net sighed.

"You also changed then I see" James said 

"No I'll kill you... I'll kill you for hurting me" net pressed the gun hardly on James's head.

"Do it then damnit! Do it bastard!" James screamed on his face but in return Net only removed the gun from his head, in a slow pace.

Lowering his head he clenched the gun in between his fingers.

"Fuck I can't! Why the fuck can't I?!" Net begged for the answer, to himself.

"I know why I can't...I love you... How can you expect me to kill you? I won't kill a suicidal psychopath like you anyways" Net says the last sentence with a sarcastic tone.

"I'm not a suicidal psychopath, I just gave you the chance. And you lost it. You won't have the chance to kill me again" James let out, stuffing his hands inside his pant pockets.

Net just stared at James with a stoic face.

The male had tried his best, but James's heart never moved by his acts. That's what he thought. But If he saw how James felt, maybe he would've tried some more.

But now it was too late.

"James Supamongkon"

"Hmm?" James felt something coming, ready to face it.

.

.

.

.

''Let's not meet ever again''

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what do you think is going to happen between them ?

for the answers let's wait for the next.