𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙗𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙚𝙣 𝘿𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙨

28.You Took Away It All🖤🤍

James's pov:

"h-how..."

I gazed downwards, not directly at my feet, but rather into a void of nothingness.

Everything was fine awhile ago... What happened all so sudden?

I couldn't cry yet. I don't hate crying, I just don't like it. But right now I want to cry... But why I'm not crying then?

I felt a pressure on my shoulders. I lifted my eyes to him.

net.

He's there standing without saying anything. I know it's hard for him to console me in a situation like this. What to do? who saw this coming after all...

"It's... Ah... It's okay. You can cry" I wanted to smile at his silliness but I couldn't. I wished I could feel emotions at this time... This was the time I needed emotions the most.

I found myself gazing at his face, but my mind was elsewhere. I couldn't understand why I was feeling so lost and vulnerable. It was unlike me to act this way.

Why's it hurting me so much?

The pain I am experiencing at this moment is similar to the pain I felt when I witnessed the death of my parents and watched them be buried in front of me.

Ironic isn't it?

I killed so many people, maybe that's why God is punishing me by taking everything away from me. But If that's the case then...

Will he take Net too?

I looked at him again, I felt this weird knot growing inside me. I wanted to hug him and tell him to not leave me but I somehow couldn't speak.

I want to tell him... Maybe later...

"We should take the body-"

"SHE HAS A NAME! JANI! CALL HER JAN!" I suddenly burst out which I was regretting right away.

net looked at me with concern.

For fuck sake don't give me that look! I don't need pity!

I need my friend back...

"Calm down james, Yeah jan... We need to uh" net didn't finish his sentence but I knew what he meant. I nodded slightly looking away.

I knew this time would come... But why so early? She had time! She told me she'll tell me when she'll die! But she lied! She fucking lied!

But is that her fault? Am I trying to make myself feel better by putting the blame on someone who's dead already?

How pathetic JAMES SUPAMONGKON is.

"james? You okay?" I snapped back looking at net who still had that look on his face.

worry, sympathy, concern.

I hate it but don't I need them right now?

I nodded my head again before walking away.

I need fresh air to breathe, I feel suffocated.

I could hear net calling my name worriedly but who would tell him that I was actually more worried about him... Worried God will take him away from me too.

.

.

.

.

.

The frigid air enveloping the graveyard did not offer solace to james.

net wondered why didn't he shed a single tear yet? His only best friend, whom he liked as well died and he didn't cry at all? Was the pain too much that made him this numb? net just wondered.