Pact To Passion

11: Therefore, I am 'An Asshole'

"Wanna be nice enough,
They don't call my bluff
'cause I hate to find."

RUHAAN

I wasn't able to sleep as a feeling of uncertainty rushed through me. Something felt definitely wrong and while I stared at the clock which just struck 1, I wasn't able to shrug off the unease I felt.

Another few moments went by as I turned to the other side trying to wake up my numb left to find Raina just an inch away from me.

Did I shift too close to her side?

I glanced back to see if there was too much space but that didn't seem like the situation because she shifted to me. I emitted a sigh rolling my eyes at this theatrical woman.

She's never losing her spirit even in her sleep and that made me chuckle, strangely.

My eyes moved from the side of her bed to her face. She had a persistent frown on her face like there was something extremely unbecoming and she wasn't able to wave it off her life.

But this woman , on the other hand, and no matter how much I try to deny, is exceptionally beautiful.

Unwillingly, my palms moved from the side of my body to her face tucking the loose hair strands behind her ear as I caught the clear image of her face in my brain.

She looks so still and lost that even if I move away making the most voluminous sound, she won't budge from the position. Yet there's something that troubled her.

I realised what I was doing so I quickly backed off my hand but before I could bring it back to it's original place, she held my palm firmly in her grasp. I felt discomfort, not on the fact that she was holding my hand but because I imagined what her reaction would be if she found me caressing her hair.

I waited till she left my hand because I wasn't able to bring myself to free my hand from her grip. It was like she needed someone to hold her and no matter how much I disliked the feeling, there was a certain part of me that wanted to retain the touch.

She moved her fingers from my wrist to my back until her face was securely pressed against my chest. A nerve-wrecking feeling emerged in me as I felt her whole body pressed soundly against mine.

And for once, everything was thrown out of my mind. I kept staring at the woman who unwillingly wrapped herself around me and I was reminded at how once I would have died for her touch.

I would have done anything just for her to see me in a way I used to see her.

The 8 year old me, the 14 year old me would have hugged her closer until she forgot to back away herself but the 24 year old me is reluctant to do so.

Reluctance is something I inherited through the years, accustoming to everything as slowly my feelings desiccated and scattered away returning back into moments like these.

But obviously things changed, I changed, she changed with our surroundings turning the way we did.

Her frown slowly vanished as she moaned in her sleep and my mind roamed around all the unholy thoughts.

I have slept with multiple women but no one had a sort of effect on me the way she has just by clutching herself to me. That too unintentionally.

I, unable to move a bit slowly wrapped my arms around her, my heart not wanting to free myself from her grasp. She cuddled closer to me and as my hands came in contact with the skin of her waist due to a slight fold of her shirt, I felt a strange yet pleasant burn of my skin I never felt before.