Missing The Sun

Chapter V: Rank

"Aw Ongsa. You might seem like you changed a lot." Tinh tapped her shoulder gently. "But you actually still the same one on the inside."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Ongsa. We don't want you to leave like what you did back then." Charoen hugged her from behind. "Though life might not give you what you expected, it's still worth to live, right? It's still sadden me—and Tinh, to remember about it."

"Yeah, Ongsa. About the day you left."

"We really wanted to go to tell Sun everything, but as we promised you."

"Beside, we thought the situation wouldn't get any better if she knew."

Ongsa remained remarkably calm despite the circumstances surrounding her. That afternoon, she dedicated her time to engaging in conversation with Tinh and Charoen, both of whom were studying at the opposite faculty. They exchanged thoughts and laughter, creating a lighthearted atmosphere. As she participated in their discussions, she occasionally took a moment to gulp down a can of coke, the cold beverage providing a refreshing contrast to the warmth of the day. In between sips, she found herself staring straight into the void, her mind drifting as she contemplated the world around her, lost in thought yet still present in the moment.

"Yeah. She'd be mad at me. Like, real mad. She supposed to hate me after all."

"Uh. Ongsa. I think, not only you changed drastically after that day." Charoen said softly. "But Sun did too. She changed."

"Chai. I sensed it too. It seemed that you've damaged her life by running away from her life, and leaving her blind." Tinh added. "I think, one day you should tell her about this—maybe not to expecting anything, but more like..." Tinh glanced at Charoen, asking for a little push.

"More like how you should pay respect to the girl that you love, Ongsa." Charoen stroked Ongsa's hair gently. "Sun deserves to know. Regardless."

Ongsa agreed with that, but also, felt reluctant with the ideation. Part of her kept on telling she should have not reopened the door she locked tightly there, in Bangkok, along with so many memories, the good and the bad, the truth and the lie, everything circling around the girl named Sun, the one she loves the most, but also the one who kept her be invisible in her own world.

"I was wondering though." Ongsa finally vent out. "I was wondering if it does matter still? Like, I promised myself back then, when everything gets better, I'd come back and tell her every lie that I did, that she deserves to know it all. But when the time comes, will it still matter?" She stared at Tinh and Charoen, smilling warmly. Both of friend know, the girl was so much in pain for all those years, but keeping all the secrets for her. "She moved on. She's dating someone else. Shouldn't I just leave it all behind too?"

"If that's your decision, we will do nothing but to support you. You know we always here to support you, Ongsa." Charoen said, with Tinh nodded softly.

"And what about Moon, Ongsa?"

*** ***

"Storm, why are you doing this?" Ongsa stared blankly.