Missing The Sun

Chapter XVIII: Need

How they made love all night long, wrapped in each other's arms, and all the vivid memories that came flooding back to her mind left a profound and lasting impression on Sun. Every gentle touch, every whispered word, and every shared glance seemed to etch itself into her memory like a beautiful yet torturous tattoo. She couldn't deny how utterly crazy her life had become lately, especially since that fateful incident occurred between her and Ongsa. It was as if everything had shifted on its axis, and she found herself spiraling in a whirlwind of emotions.

Sun wanted so desperately to hate Ongsa, to paint her as a jerk, to conjure up all the negative thoughts she could muster about their connection. But time and again, she discovered a U-turn on her journey of feelings, always finding herself drawn back to those constant thoughts about her feelings for no one else but Ongsa.

Sun felt utterly insane, caught in a tempest of conflicting emotions. With every single memory that played in her mind, she recalled how soft Ongsa's hand had felt against every inch of her body, igniting a fire within her that she couldn't extinguish. She remembered the warmth of Ongsa's breath against her skin, each exhale sending shivers down her spine. The kisses they shared were a perfect blend of softness and passion, leaving her breathless and yearning for more.

Sun held the wind tightly in her grasp, feeling as though it were the only thing anchoring her to reality, and she groaned in resignation, unable to escape the powerful hold that Ongsa had on her heart and mind. The more she tried to push those feelings away, the more they seemed to overwhelm her, leaving her in a state of confusion and longing that she couldn't shake off.

"Damn, Ongsa." She sighed deeply. "I can't do this anymore."

She glanced at her phone's screen, grumbled. She understood how annoying she had been in the past few days through the dozens of bubble chats she had sent to Ongsa's number, but she had run out of patience. Ongsa couldn't just do things she wants that to her, right? How could Ongsa do that to her? Sun felt like blowing up a field just to relieve her anger.

Because I love you, Sun. You're the one that I love.

Then, why can't Ongsa be with me?

Why can't Ongsa choose me?

Sun had just turned around to leave the room when she felt her arm being gently pulled by the girl from behind. As if the day couldn't get any worse, she had to face Moon, wearing probably one of her brightest smiles. The innocent one.

"Sun." She seemed to be monitoring Sun's facial expression. "You seem so furious. Is there something bugging you?"

"No. It's okay." Sun forced herself to smile. "What's up, Moon?"

"Where are you going after class? I mean, do you have any plans?"

"Not really. Why?"

"I was thinking to go take some pictures near the park, and since I think you were kind of busy and I haven't thank you at all for being my college buddy, would you go with me, Sun?" That innocent smile again. "I packed us a snack too earlier this morning. Mom brought some from the US, and I'll be happy to enjoy it with you."

Oh, Moon... Out of the millions of people in this world, why do I need to compete with a girl as beautiful and kind as you?

"You don't have to thank me though. It's my duty."

"Were you unhappy with it? Did I bother you a lot?"