Missing The Sun

Chapter XVII: Moon & Earth

"You don't have to take care of me anymore, Ongsa. I'm strong enough here. I'm sorry that I can not be a girlfriend that you wished for. I'm sorry, Ongsa. But I don't love you like you do to me. I don't love you that way."

Moon jolted awake from the depths of an endless nightmare that had plagued her sleep. Her hands were clenched tightly around the bed sheet, as if it were the only thing anchoring her to reality. Groaning softly, she struggled to keep her mouth shut, but the tears began to flow uncontrollably down her cheeks, a mix of sorrow and frustration. She took a moment to wipe her damp face, recognizing that it was wet not only from tears but also from the perspiration that clung to her skin. With a heavy heart, she pushed herself up from the bed and reached for a small towel that was casually draped over the chair nearby. Letting out a soft but deep sigh, she slowly poured herself a glass of water, hoping that the cool liquid would help calm her racing thoughts and steady her nerves.

As she sat on the edge of the bed, she groaned quietly, stealing a glance at the time displayed on her phone. Once again, the reality of her day set in: she had another session scheduled with Dr. Smith, the psychiatrist who had been her lifeline, helping her for almost a year now. He was more than just a professional to her; he had become her only close friend during this difficult period in her life, offering support and understanding when she felt utterly alone. Despite the trials she had faced, she found herself not placing blame on anyone or anything for the misfortune that had befallen her. Instead, she chose to focus on her healing journey, grateful for the guidance that Dr. Smith provided as she continued to seek a way out of the darkness that had enveloped her for so long.

.

.

.

"I'm fine, Dr. Smith. I have started going to college again since last month. Remember?"

"I'm sure you are, Moon. I'm analyzing why you keep on experiencing that dream."

"Maybe it's nothing."

"Have you tried to contact Ongsa?"

That name. Ongsa. Moon sighed. That name, or rather that person, always appeared in her dreams, both the good and bad. Ongsa was someone she always admired. A good friend, her guardian angel. Moon looked down for a moment, thinking about how bad the situation between the two of them after everything, something Ongsa never knew. And with the fact that Ongsa decided to move back to Bangkok, Moon realized how much she hurt Ongsa in the process and did not deserve to even greet her again.

"Dr. Smith, let's not."

"Ongsa deserves to know this all, Moon." She said. "She left because she didn't know her best friend experienced all this. She felt hurt, but she will understand. Beside, I think it's good for you too. Time will not heal you, but your effort to find the peace within you. One of them, or most of them, are clearly about that one particular name. Ongsa."

"I think she's hating me right now, Doc."

"I doubt that. From your story, Ongsa is an interesting girl."

"But I hurt her so bad."

"Time gave you two enough space to talk again. Let's not focus on how much it hurts, but how by enhancing your broken relationship, would heal you."

Moon sipped the cup of tea provided and smiled while slowly letting the old good memories replayed in her head, along with the good songs, about that one particular name: Ongsa.