(The gang being all together in canon Maizen and Paranoia are so fucking different guys ruh roh guys I have to change realms again 🏃)
JJ woke up coughing. Spit flew from his mouth as he tried to hack up what he thought was blood, but a few seconds in, he realized he was awake and started to settle down. He wasn't drowning anymore.
He was sweating and shaking tremendously, despite the fact that the nightmare was over. He was still frightened to his core as he remembered the heavy, choking feeling of drowning, and the words that had been said to him beforehand:
"Selfish, violent human. Each day that passes, you're ensuring you'll drown in even more of your own blood when we arrive. You bring such a horrid fate upon yourself with your actions."
"With each day that passes, my death will increasingly end up worse on January 12th? Is it because I'm doing something angers them? Or are they taunting me with something I can't control?"
He decided the last option was more likely.
"I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just doing anything I can to cope with this; nothing else."
JJ relished the feeling of having fresh air to breathe in as he climbed off the floor and onto the bed. Only to find, however, that Mikey wasn't there.
"Of course he's not. Didn't I do something yesterday that scared him? Oh forget it - I don't remember, and it doesn't matter."
His heart was still racing, and the sweating and trembling didn't ease the longer he was awake. He wished Mikey was here, so he could just calm down in his embrace, but he knew he'd lost the privilege to that long ago.
"Why do I keep hurting him?" For the first time in a while, JJ actually started to question his own actions. "I love him, so why do I hurt him? It's my fault I'm losing him, and it'll be my fault when I have nobody to protect me and be with me when I die. I'll die completely alone when the day comes."
His chest tightened at the realization, but not even a moment later, he felt an all too familiar burning and cramping sensation in his abdomen. JJ let out a half-wail, half-groan as his emotions started to spiral out of control again.
"No, I don't have to be all by myself-" JJ decided in the midst of his pain. "I can make him stay with me. I can make him, and I will."
He staggered to his feet, planning to track Mikey down. He wouldn't need to do a ton of searching though, because he knew there was only one place Mikey would go if he wasn't here.
"I'll hurt him and his puny friends if it means I get to keep him." JJ decided, the dark thoughts of anger and rage consuming him once again. "Kill, even."
-
His hands vibrating with anger, JJ continued to spy through the window.
Both Banana Kid and Carrie were huddled around Mikey, who had his face buried into his hands as he vented to them in tears. The spot that JJ had bitten into that night was now bandaged, as well as his head injury, so it probably wasn't the pain that was making Mikey cry. JJ strained to listen to him.
"I don't want to go back," He sobbed. "But if he finds out I'm not there anymore, he'll force me! Even worse, he might hurt you both! I'm so scared of him, I don't know what to do!"
"You don't have to go back." Carrie assured, as Mikey removed his hands so he could fully pay attention to her. "JJ doesn't control you. If you feel unsafe, or even just uncomfortable, you have every right to make the decision to stay away from him. Especially if he's abusing you and putting your physical and mental health in danger."
