Crush

Shhh

The conversation with Leah was four days ago. We didn't speak again. Everyone still hates me but I feel like the situation cooled down a bit. At least they are not insulting me the entire time.

We have lunch at training and as always I sit alone. I liked the times where I would sit with Leah. She is sitting with Lia and Steph. I keep looking over at her. I can't stop myself. She looks so beautiful and I just wish she would be mine again. I lean my head on my hand and sadly look at Leah laughing with the others. I wish she would laugh with me.

Suddenly Beth comes over and sits with me. I take my eyes off of Leah and look at her confused. Why is she here? Doesn't she hate me?

"Are you sure you want to sit here?" I ask.

"Yeah, I heard you and Leah talked." She says.

"Leah told you?" I hope so. And I hope not everyone knows it. I don't want them to know if we should start to date again.

"I kind of figured it out." Beth shrugs.

"How?"

"She has been acting different for a few days. She is more happy and more herself again." Beth says. I like to think this is because of me but I'm not sure.

"You think that's because of me?" I keep looking at Leah now. She is perfect. I love her hair up like that. Her nails are painted dark red which looks so attractive on her.

"Yeah, you just made her happy and I could literally see her happiness fade out of her as you broke up. She missed you every day. You have no idea how much this woman loves you. I never thought I would say this but you two are meant for each other. You can't go without one another. I never saw Leah that sad before. Not even after her last breakup." Beth tells me. I like that she thinks that. I also want to believe that we are soulmates because it feels like it. I still stare past Beth and at Leah. Beth turns around to see what I'm looking at. She looks back at me with a smile.

"Seems like you also miss her a lot." She says.

"Of course I miss her. The last weeks without her were torture for me. A lot of you probably thought that I would enjoy the freedom but I didn't. This freedom isn't what I want. I just want this feeling that I had with Leah back."

"Will you get back together?" Beth asks. I wish I knew that.

"I don't know. I let Leah decide. I wish we would." I say with a sigh. I want Leah to decide this tho. She was the one who ended this. It still hurts to think about that moment.

"I'm sure she will come around. She still loves you like crazy." Beth says. I have to smile at that.

"I still love her like crazy too."

"It's pretty obvious." Beth laughs. I hope it's obvious for Leah. I want her to know how much I still love her. I kind of told her but I'm not sure if she got it.

"I hope she knows it as well." I say.

"Leah believes you. She knows you didn't cheat." Beth says. I'm actually glad she says that because until now I wasn't sure if Leah really believed me. It feels good to know that she did. What does she need time for then? I wish I could go over there and get her but I don't want to overwhelm her.

-

I'm home alone once again. I keep scrolling through the TV channels to find something to keep me entertained for the evening. I was never bored with Leah. Why can't we be like we used to be? What is stopping us? I just accept it for now. I don't recall being single to be that miserable.

I'm about to go to bed when I suddenly hear my doorbell ringing. It's literally 10 in the evening. Why is someone coming here at this time? I think about just ignoring it and going to bed but it rings another time. I really hope this is something important. I get up and go for the door.