Broken (Completed and editing)

Hurt.......

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"Your body can stand almost anything; it's your mind you have to convince"

Veronica's POV:-

Even though I wished to not see any more of Aaron Flynn. I just could not override the feeling that he would not back down. I just played my turn in the game. A game he initiated. And if I said that this didn't excite me; the feeling of meeting him again, didn't excite me, would be a white lie. Maybe I still am making my way to a realization. And I know that it will come. I will decide one day that the centre of this man's attention is a very bad place to be.

I have been living my life like a loop ever since I can remember; I go to school. I have vacations that are mostly spent lying in bed all day, and watching movie after movie and tv series or following various soap operas. And when finally something new does happen, I get excited. I feel like I ruin it even before it begins. This new is always bad. All my life, my heart has sought something that I for the love of God could never name.

And now Aaron. It's something about him. Something that draws me in. I mean I had no intention to do what I did, just the spur of the moment I guess. I wanted to piss him off and I know it was the only thing that would piss him off. Call me a bitch but I knew he liked me or whatever attraction he has towards me, so I decided to use it against him. I know this is not some moment of wonder, or some life changing catharsis that I'm having.

I've always been the kind of person who's been too afraid to face the consequences of the decisions they make. I am already broken, holding myself together with ban-aids. I can count on my fingers the number of good things that have ever happened to me, and believe me, my fingers are more than enough. But this, not for a moment did I think about the consequences here. Why was I acting this way?

When I was 17 I ran into this guy in the forest, I was just wandering about. Really like the sounds in the forest, like water falling, birds chirping. Well this guy I ran into, he called himself "The wanderer".

All kinds of crazy oozing right out of him. The man was a walking talking jar of different. Different from anyone I ever met. Though when I was with him, I had a peaceful feeling that I only get when I sing.

His name was Jake; he was quiet different from most people. I mean when I first met him I had taken him for a ghost. Scared the shit out of me. We used to hang out. He told me he moves from place to place, go to the most unusual locations. And he had this crazy dream to watch every city and town on the globe.

I was absolutely fascinated by him. Exactly like him, I also wanted to travel the world. Watching him living his life with a smile and that look of feeling satisfaction with his life made me want to have it all.

One night we got ourselves inked. I was really scared and kind of reluctant at first, but there is nothing booze can't handle. I was 17 at the time. He tattooed my initials on his arm along with some symbols around them, said it was a reminder that he met someone just like him.

I on the other hand got an infinity sign made like a ribbon that looked like flowing. At the end of one ribbon, letter J, as a reminder of him. The sign started below my shoulder blade and came down from my side, and the ribbon's ended just before my bellybutton. Up until now I don't think I've reached the regretting stage, though I don't think I ever will.

He may have seen the-cry-out-for-help need in my eyes and offered me to join him. He gave a way out. I was not depressed neither was I sad but I wasn't even happy. I needed and still do need a reason to hold on. I felt torn between the choice of forgetting the pain mom's death caused me and bringing my dad back to me again. I was torn to chose between trying to save the little family I had and to go with him and live smiling everyday.